The Old Folks Home

[JD4570]

I've been staying in a trailer next to the house. If my mom needed anything she'd always call me. I woke up six times last night to check my phone......


This is not going to be easy.

 

[microchick]

JD, I'm so sorry on the loss of your mom. It is never easy.. Chicka, nobody needs to go through that. How hard this must be for you but you have to put yourself first at some point in time Either she will wise up or not. Time will tell. Frankly, wisdom usually comes after the person has hit rock bottom, and that is unfortunate.

I had a rotten weekend also which is why I wasn't on the internet much.

I had an old friend of over 40 years cross a line with me. I'm a pretty easy going person, accepting of others beliefs and rights. But when somebody asks me an honest question and I answer them honestly as far as my opinion is concerned, and they proceed to rant at me and try to indoctrinate me to THEIR thinking, that is where the line is drawn. I finally had to sever the friendship and spend the rest of the weekend close to the bathroom as the stress set off my IBS. My mother once said never argue religion, politics or sex with your friends it will never end well...boy was she right.

Then to make matters worse, one of my 18 month old BBR bantam hens was egg bound. I spent most of yesterday working with her until she finally passed the egg. Problem was that the egg was about half the size of what they normally lay so I don't know why it was 'hung up' so to speak. I could feel it on internal exam, soaked gave her calcium and greased the poor baby up with KY Jelly. There was some mushiness to her abdomen so I gave her a small dose of baby aspirin for inflammation and watched her. She has a lot of her feathers missing and this morning the mushiness is almost gone but her vent looks swollen and moist. Don't know what she has going on. She has always been a poor layer so there is some glitch some where. I'm just hoping she doesn't have a peritonitis going on. She is acting pretty normally. Last night after she passed the egg she was still bearing down and exposing her oviduct through her cloacae. I checked her internally and couldn't feel anything in the oviduct or anywhere else so she is a puzzlement at the moment.

All you knowledgeable folks out there. Anything else I can do for her? No signs of her not feeling well at the moment. She is eating and drinking.

On the good side, the weather is suddenly gorgeous. Sun is shining. Temps are in the mid 80s and the humidity is low. No rain of course and everything is fried but at least it isn't 900 degree out in the sun.

We were able to finally get the new deck door hung and start work on the deck itself. The original builder had used ungalvanized nails and they are rusting off and working their way out of the wood. We are pulling them and replacing them with galvy screws. Also replacing wood with repainting as our final goal.

I'll almost be glad for fall and winter so I can catch up on my rest, LOL

 

[sourland]

@microchick , . True on the religion/sex/politics - especially in today's environment. It has been banned from all family discussions as SIL has no common sense about social interactions.

Hey, 'oldfolks', what's 'old'? My doctor keeps telling me to take it easy "You're not 25 anymore." My Mom lived to be 97. She always said, "Getting old is no sin. Acting old is." What's old ?

 

[microchick]

@sourland, to me old is a matter of function. When I worked as a nurse in a rehab center/nursing home, I took care of people as young as their 30s and as old as 100. To me, the younger people who had suffered tragic premature strokes were as old as the 100 year old sitting in a wheel chair and not knowing their knee from their elbow.

My dad worked until he was in his 70s. When we asked his doctor if that was okay he said that his physical age was much less than his actual age in years so sure, go ahead and work.

So to me age is subjective to physical ability over actual years alive.

 

[microchick]

So is the site still acting weird or is it just my tablet with android?

 

[Latestarter]

Really sorry JD... It's going to take a while for full closure and eventually the grief will pass. Hope you can get some sleep here soon.

Sorry you lost a friend Micro. I understand giving a little for friendship but there's still a line that should NOT be crossed. Tough to mend those bridges once burned. Sorry to hear about your little hen as well. Hope she gets herself "right".

How do you detach yourself emotionally from a child who's an addict?

You do exactly what you have done. The hard part starts now... STICK TO YOUR GUNS! Do NOT waffle, feel guilty, think you can help or change things, imagine that things will be different now because "you showed her" you're serious (this time?!). If you fail this time (once again), you will be right back where you started and she will have controlled you once again, thereby rationalizing that her life style does NOT need to change. It is way past time for you to move fwd with your life and let her do what she will with hers, WITHOUT dragging you down with her. I'm not a pray-er but I do hope that you can carry on through and find your freedom from this burden. I have a daughter that I haven't seen or spoken to for ~5 years now. I doubt I ever will again in this life, and I'm A-OK with that.

 

[microchick]

I've got an adopted brother I am that way with. We exchange birthday and holiday cards, occasional emails but I have not seen him in almost 10 years and yes, I am okay with that too.

After all, a person can only spend so much time in the bathroom and take a certain amount of Pepto before reality hits them in the head and they figure out that it's time to stop stressing over things you cannot control. Yes, this bridge is burned, bulldozed and the ground sprinkled with salt. Like Chicka, I put a filter up on the email address. Life is too short.

 

[chickadoodles]

Thanks Ls. I plan on it.
I've had all I can take.

Micro I'm sorry about you friend.
You deserve better.

 

[chickadoodles]

JD it will take time. After you grieve try to keep busy or keep your mind busy.
Time helps mend your heart.

 

[CapricornFarm]

Micro, have you tried warm sitz baths with epsom salts for your hen with laying issues?