the poison in my life is gone, so why do i feel so guilty? long post *update now it goes to trial*

[Avalon1984]

Quote:
I'd go with $800

room, board, money she paid for him, did she cook for him too? Then him not following up on his responsibilities, etc.

 

[QuinnP]

sell them into slavery somewhere in a country whose name you cant pronounce

 

[hdowden]

theres no reason to feel guilty or apoligize you have done nothing wrong and for people to act like that i would never allow them to be around my kids at all. they are violent and dont care who they hurt. i would keep them out of my life for ever and you should really try and talk gramas into filling a report

 

[feathersnuggles]

Give your love to those who can lovingly receive it, and let the rest go, in peace. Drama is bait. Once you are free from it, no one will be able, or tempted, to bait you again. I agree with the poster who said you can't love (or argue, or reason) anyone into being a functional human being. Very slowly, through the years I've finally learned to let go and manage peaceful boundaries with toxic family members, not allowing myself to re-join the drama or to struggle, even mentally, with their behavior.

Your grandma sounds like a sweet lady.

 

[shadowpaints]

well, today is the day we go to court. i can only hope that this is the end of it! grama has handed over the money to ssi who has issued brother a new 'payee' in the form of a PSR worker. so at least grama is done dealing with that!

i can only hope that my uncle doesnt get put in jail for slapping my brother, if my uncle goes to jail, he will lose his job.

grama just told me that she is getting cataracts, and she told me yesterday that she gets too tired too easy

 

[shadowpaints]

court was today. the restraining order against my mother has been extended indefinatly!! thank goodness!! tomorrow is another court date, but i am unable to attend... so i have to wait for grama to call me

 

[redhen]

Poor Gram,.. having to deal with this mess at her age..

I'm glad she'll be more protected now..

 

[TigerLilly]

If you are a Christian woman, it could be that the guilt comes from not being able to forgive her. If that is the case, just because you choose to forgive her does not mean you have to keep her, or your brother, in your life. Forgive them, tell them the truth about why you want nothing to do with them & 'kick the dust from your shoes' when you leave.
I have a similar situation with my gram (who is almost 94) & one of my sisters. Nothing physical, but she ran up my Gram;s credit card to over $15,000 & stopped paying the bill. Unlike your brother, she is not familiar with jail. Just the opposite, in fact. She was in law enforcement for about 15 yrs; her husband of 20-some years has worked his way up to captain in the same agency she was with. THEY ARE NOT POOR PEOPLE. There is no excuse for her behavior--or causing my Gram to have to file bankruptcy to get rid of the relentless bill collector calls. I'm sure a lot of us know how nasty they can be. They had her so stressed out that bankruptcy was the only answer for her. My sister quit associating with me, our mom, gram, our other sister & an aunt. Over the years (this has been going on since 2003), I have tried mending fences with her, but she clearly wants nothing to do with me. Her family is not good enough because we dont value material things; I live on a farm, not a fancy house in an upscale neighborhood. I used to feel like you, with all the guilt. It wasnt until I forgave her that I was able to get on with my life & not worry about whether she wanted me in her life or not. I love my life, my God & my family. But I dont feel the need to keep negative people or 'haters' in my life. I have never felt so free since I let go of my baggage.
It's true that you cant pick your family...but you also dont have to keep them in your life either.

 

[SourRoses]

Quote:
It sounds very much to me like his SSI disability is a physcological one. Thats why they have another person acting as the payee, mental issues.... If it were a physical ailment they would pay it directly to him.
Getting SSI does require a lawyer of some sort... as you have to file the claim over and over again before they will even actually look at it. The typical waiting period is 2 years, then they get the back pay from the time they started applying for it.
That being said.... granny could now sue the brother for rent, expenses, and damages... and now that he has a regular income, especially as it comes from the goverment, hahahahaha, they can garnish it until all is paid.
If you become your grandmothers gaurdian at some point, and it falls within the statue of limitations ... which I don't know, 2 years maybe? You could sue him on her behalf I think... claim loss to her belongings and abuse of her mental frailty or some such thing. LOL Serve him right!

 

[shadowpaints]

grams just called me. they are taking the aggravated assult charges to trial. yes they are charging my uncle with aggravated asult because he slapped my brother UGH like grams needs any more stress!