Things my Pop used to tell me......

[banter]

My friend always said "Thought you died and the hogs ate ya". His uncle had a heart attack in the pig pen and the rest-well...........

 

[soccerguy17]

my grandpa said "you can kiss my A$$ till you bark like a fox" and "is a frog's A$$ watertight?"

 

[love-my-wolves]

Quote:
my grandpa says tits on a bull.

My mom would say "colder than a witches t-t in a brass bra in the middle of February"

And my hubby used to say in high school "so, do you want a Bozo button or a cookie now?"

 

[NoelTate]

lol...I am loving these! A friend I used to work with would ask me now and then to tell her a "Southernism" so she could laugh. My bf now makes fun of me for them. I don't care. I think they're fun

Useless as a big fire on a hot summer day.

Hotter than a Texas whorehouse on double coupon Friday night in July.

I've got hundreds of them

 

[nutz4critters]

ahhh, you guys!! I'm having an asthma attack thanks to you!

"colder than a well-digger's butt in a Montana well"

"colder than a witch's anamodie (whatever the heck that is)"

One coined by my dad: non illegitimus carborundum Translates to "Don't let the bastar*s grind you down"

"better to be piss** off than piss** on"

One of my favorites for when a nosy so-and-so was asking too many questions: "Are you writing a book?" if the answer was NO, then "well, I guess you don't need to know then, do ya?" If the answer was YES, the reply is "Well, how about leaving that chapter out and making it a mystery?"

Or if we were listening to someone singing who actually couldn't sing (lot of those on the radio these days): Wonder if that song comes in parts. If it does, I wish he/she/they would leave my part out.

Gotta find my inhaler now.

 

[RioLindoAz]

I'd tell what my dad used to say to me. But it was all in spanish.

 

[country freedom]

I don't find it positive to curse at all, so, a few of the things I'v been heard to say:

Butterfly Kisses
P-nut Butter cookies
Hershey Bar
and others

I've said those and others when, I've hit my funny bone, smashed my thumb with a hammer, stump a toe, etc., and I try very hard to think of anything positive to say when the pain is at it's worst: It does take alot of hard mental work, but it sure is worth it, when you get strange looks and laughter from others who hear you. They ask why I say those things, and my answer is "it's a whole lot better than listening to cursing negative energy words."!

 

[Pitchfork]

I'd rather be bit in the butt by a snagle tooth bull dog.

As long as we stay ahead of them they can't beat us.

If you get there first just make a mark in the dust on the road and if I get there first I'll just rub it out.

That was the oddiest thing I ever saw.

That boy is like a bear cub playing with his p--ker

 

[Rafter 7 Paint Horses]

When someone tells a really old joke:
That's older than the hills on my Grandma's chest

Just for the heck of it:
I ain't had so much fun since the alligators ate my little brother.

I didn't think skipping school was so bad until my sister came home from college and told my parents that she skipped one of her periods!

I always tell DH he is:
Handier than pockets on a shirt

That old dog don't hunt

If I could buy you for what you are worth and sell you for what you think you're worth I'd be rich.

If bullsh*t was gold, you'd be rich.

DH says about some acquaintances and some relatives:
The same mule kicked everybody in that family.

It ain't a sport if it can't kill you.

And an old favorite "Here's your sign"

I know DH says a lot more, just can't think of them right now.

I really enjoy this thread! I have heard a lot of these and some are new to me.
Keep 'em coming!

Jean

 

[cluckychick]

"S**t in one hand and want in the other and see which one fills up faster"
"Take a picture it last longer"
"Dumber than a box of rocks"