Things you wish you could say

[nuthatched]

Set aside the bail money and tell a loved one where to find it

Pfft. I think my coworkers would start a gofundme.
Heck, a few of them would totally help hide a body.
We have 7 very obnoxious customers that whine at every store and restaurant in town.

Me to an employee in another store: Do you ever get that young guy in the trench coat that doesn't believe in technology but pays everything with his watch?

"YES, has he ever told you his wierd, hinky conspiracies?"

Mercy, yes.

 

[notabitail]

Pfft. I think my coworkers would start a gofundme.
Heck, a few of them would totally help hide a body.
We have 7 very obnoxious customers that whine at every store and restaurant in town.

Me to an employee in another store: Do you ever get that young guy in the trench coat that doesn't believe in technology but pays everything with his watch?

"YES, has he ever told you his wierd, hinky conspiracies?"

Mercy, yes.

I want to hear them now.

 

[nuthatched]

I want to hear them now.

Noooo, you don't.
Especially when you're closing with only two employees, one of which is you, and the other guy is in the back of the store or outside securing everything.
I carry a taser on night shift.

 

[notabitail]

Noooo, you don't.
Especially when you're closing with only two employees, one of which is you, and the other guy is in the back of the store or outside securing everything.
I carry a taser on night shift.

I meant for you to tell us one of the crazy loony things he said.

 

[nuthatched]

I meant for you to tell us one of the crazy loony things he said.

They are unfit for byc and any sane persons.
I truly don't remember much because my brain is desperately shoveling it out as fast as Don Pervo is talking.
RETURN TO SENDER.

 

[SourRoses]

I meant for you to tell us one of the crazy loony things he said.

Nothing could be weirder than the reptile-people conspiracy.
When I first heard that one, I was like... Ok, every other conspiracy sounds sane in comparison. It's now a lot easier to believe in alien abductions because the weird meter is so much further out.

 

[SourRoses]

We have 7 very obnoxious customers that whine at every store and restaurant in town.

Me to an employee in another store: Do you ever get that young guy in the trench coat that doesn't believe in technology but pays everything with his watch?

I think I might be one of those customers in my area

The girl who smells like a barn and rifles through our produce

Hey! It's not my fault...
#1 I have farm chores before shopping duties
#2 Too much produce is left on the shelves in inferior condition and if I bring back a sad squash I would receive the eyeball treatment
#3 I put everything back sorta like it was!

 

[R2elk]

The girl who smells like a barn

Much better than the old women who pour on so much perfume that you can smell them and their trail everywhere they go.

 

[notabitail]

Much better than the old women who pour on so much perfume that you can smell them and their trail everywhere they go.

I can't stand perfume. It makes me sick.

 

[R2elk]

I can't stand perfume. It makes me sick.

I refer to it as stinkum.