Things you wish you could say

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Wish I could say: Nobody will be cold, hungry or lonely today.
 
I also wish that a former boss of mine was still at the store (she is doing well though, she's running another store in the company so at least she left our store for happy reasons) so the new people could taste her amazing cooking. We usually do a store Thanksgiving party and everyone brings food. Former boss lady is an incredible cook, she brought turkey one year and it was legit the moistest juiciest turkey I ever had. I thought I didn't like deviled eggs until I tried hers. Don't get me started on the deserts she brought. Aside from that, she is also just the sweetest old lady, one of the most knowledgeable people in the store and an extremely interesting person. I hope I am just as active when I get to be her age, an absolute inspiration for younger people like myself
 
It was summer and for reasons the crew got a day off work.

For reasons known only to yourself you chose not to tell your wife, instead you chose to pretend you still had work and instead left for the river to “hang out with the bros” which is where you took numerous pics of yourself and your bros at your fun nude beach party at the river and for even more unfathomable reasons then consciously shared them with your coworkers and your boss and then your boss’s boss.

You unknowingly picked up a fun new respiratory infection from your fun beach party with your bros that your wife didn’t know about.

A few days pass and you realize you’ve come down with something, you know you’re sick but again for reasons known only to yourself you decide to go back to work anyway, don’t tell anyone you’re sick, and you expose the crew.

A few days go by, everyone’s sick and you choose to admit that you’re probably the source because one of your bro’s was sick at your fun beach bro party that your wife isn’t supposed to know about.

Some of the crew are getting really sick, your boss is really sick, family members of the crew and boss are getting really sick. The hospital says it’s “community acquired pneumonia” specifically chlamydia pneumonia.

Most of the crew is out sick now, but you’ve gotten over it, most of the crew being out sick effectively shuts the job down which is financially bad for everyone but it really sucks just for you because you’re feeling better and you don’t think it’s fair that you're going to miss a paycheck because everyone else is sick and unable to work which shut the job down, so you get on your phone again and complain to your coworkers and your boss and your boss’s boss who you also sent those fun photos to of your fun beach bro party your wife isn’t supposed to know about.

Now your wife knows.



Your wife isn’t speaking to you now that she knows and that may be a good thing because HELL HATH NO FURY and you don’t understand who or why someone snitched to your wife about the fun bro beach party where you caught the Bro cold and then shared the Bro Cold with half the company and then were mad at the company for shutting down over the Bro Cold that you gave everyone.
 
It was summer and for reasons the crew got a day off work.

For reasons known only to yourself you chose not to tell your wife, instead you chose to pretend you still had work and instead left for the river to “hang out with the bros” which is where you took numerous pics of yourself and your bros at your fun nude beach party at the river and for even more unfathomable reasons then consciously shared them with your coworkers and your boss and then your boss’s boss.

You unknowingly picked up a fun new respiratory infection from your fun beach party with your bros that your wife didn’t know about.

A few days pass and you realize you’ve come down with something, you know you’re sick but again for reasons known only to yourself you decide to go back to work anyway, don’t tell anyone you’re sick, and you expose the crew.

A few days go by, everyone’s sick and you choose to admit that you’re probably the source because one of your bro’s was sick at your fun beach bro party that your wife isn’t supposed to know about.

Some of the crew are getting really sick, your boss is really sick, family members of the crew and boss are getting really sick. The hospital says it’s “community acquired pneumonia” specifically chlamydia pneumonia.

Most of the crew is out sick now, but you’ve gotten over it, most of the crew being out sick effectively shuts the job down which is financially bad for everyone but it really sucks just for you because you’re feeling better and you don’t think it’s fair that you're going to miss a paycheck because everyone else is sick and unable to work which shut the job down, so you get on your phone again and complain to your coworkers and your boss and your boss’s boss who you also sent those fun photos to of your fun beach bro party your wife isn’t supposed to know about.

Now your wife knows.



Your wife isn’t speaking to you now that she knows and that may be a good thing because HELL HATH NO FURY and you don’t understand who or why someone snitched to your wife about the fun bro beach party where you caught the Bro cold and then shared the Bro Cold with half the company and then were mad at the company for shutting down over the Bro Cold that you gave everyone.
Karma’s a bi**h
 

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