trusted my kids with a pervert. very upset.

[cassie]

Could be worse. You could be married to a pervert like a friend of my mother was. She didn't have a clue. When she did find out, quite by accident, that he had been molesting their five daughters for years she divorced him at once. The daughters never told. The neighborhood girls he molested, or tried to, never told. He made a pass at me when I was 11 and I never told either. I am not sure why.

 

[cassie]

Quote:
Being a helicopter parent isn't such a good idea either. You cannot protect your children from everything. You just can't. What you can do is give them the tools to cope and to protect themselves. Actually, the world isn't any scarier now than it ever was. It just seems that way because of the media coverage.

 

[chicksbestfriend]

That pervert is oh so lucky he never crossed my path, dare touched one of my children, would be the last time he even thought about touching a child again, thats if his brains were still intact after a sever blow!

I would probably be the next one in line to have a criminal record after the encounter, but he would be paying the ultimate price with every bone in his body. I would donate him live to science! So sorry that the girls had any type of exposure to him, praying that he never did violate them. How old was your youngest one when she attended the summer camp?

 

[Mattemma]

I have read that people with child urges choose locations and professions where there will be potential child victims.A guy caught groping kids at a Walmart in I think Mentor Ohio was a sub teacher.
My mom and I were just talking about pervs as she had ds for a day and took him to the natural history museum.He had to use the toilet and since there were no family ones she went into the mens with him,lol. I did a search on molesting in bathrooms,and so sad to read of all the cases of kids molested in public bathrooms while parents waited outside.

You just never know about people. I told dh he would have to raise the kids on his own,because if anyone molested them I would take care of them.We do the best we can to protect the kids.I won't hover over the kids,but I don't allow roaming.I know what happens to others can just as easily happen to us.

 

[TheChickenCameFirst]

Quote:
It's so easy for something to happen nowadays! Even with parents who think they are keeping an eye out on it! Very scary indeed! I am planning on Homeschooling my babe, I was home schooled, and I think it's safer... It's too bad we can't trust anyone anymore!

Even family, if you don't know them very well should be kept a close eye on!!

 

[TheChickenCameFirst]

Quote:
Being a helicopter parent isn't such a good idea either. You cannot protect your children from everything. You just can't. What you can do is give them the tools to cope and to protect themselves. Actually, the world isn't any scarier now than it ever was. It just seems that way because of the media coverage.

It's ESSENTIAL to equip your kids with what they need to avoid/cope with this kind of thing! But to watch out for it is also essential. I would feel so bad if something ever happened to my child. I'd rather be a "Helicopter Parent" and have a child that is never molested, than have her go through that! Yes, it is true, that I cannot protect her from everything, but when it comes to this... yeah! I'm keeping my eyes PEELED!!!

 

[joebryant]

I beat all hell out of some creep who exposed himself to my six- and five-year-old son and daughter (plus fifty other children in the neighborhood). Then I had him arrested; except for the parents of a little girl whom he'd propositioned, none of the other parents wanted to get involved. He walked away Scot-free, except having to have counseling from his minister. What he did was a misdemeanor, but I could have been charged with a felony.

BTW, After court, I was so mad/outraged that I had to be taken to the hospital for hyperventilation.

 

[PineappleMama]

There was a similar situation here years back. My aunt and uncle had my cousin in day care... come to find out the owner had been 'handling' kids in his office. They freaked clean out... and have never put him back in a day care, nor his brother after him... neither have I for that matter.
The scary part is that the guy was still LOOSE, no jail, no "cannot be around children, or places where they congregate" bit in probation... not sure how in the nine hells that happened... but next thing you know that day care was reopened "Under New Management" and had a whole new crop of kids in it... kids with parents who didn't realize that the man and wife simply transferred ownership into HER name (new management/ownership) and then just went right back to running things as before.

Many were horrified the first time, but the second... when he was still loose and still 100% allowed to still be there... and his wife enabling him to keep the job... that was a totally different level of panic... Uncle, me, etc never forgot it... that an owner isn't put under the same scans as a mere employee would be.

We were all under the impression that to have a day care (like over 4 or 5 kids?) that you had to have a permit/certification through the state... and that process included checking... but evidently not... or if it did then he had no record for them to see.

One problem is that from state to state they are NOT always linked... so you could be a horrid criminal in Ohio and move to Texas and have a fresh batch of victims without a clue... another is the fact that a background check does NOT list all crimes you've been CHARGED with... only the ones where you failed to weasel out of them and were actually CONVICTED... which as we all know can take YEARS... not counting the delay between conviction and updating to the system. And all that while the person could be running loose "on their own recognizance"...

So... quite possible that this guy WAS checked... somewhere along the line... but because there was no official trail those that hired him had no idea.

Even scarier... if convicted he'll be out running loose again in no time. And there will be someone willing to hire him even with his record. Someone is ALWAYS dumb enough to believe them when they say it was lies, parents complained about a fee, or some other excuse... I've seen that happen... scares the crap out of me.

Familywatchdog.us can help in locating the REGISTERED ones around you, but won't prevent harm from the smart ones who haven't been caught (and then educated on how NOT to get caught) by the system. This is supposed to be a National Registry... but I wouldn't swear to that as it depends on the states updating theirs...

It also includes info about "other threats" like FDA alerts, food recalls, medicine recalls and so on. Pretty handy site overall, but even "knowing" my neighbor isn't a predator I'm still a paranoid nutcase.

So so SO sorry this happened to you folks... it is my greatest fear... doesn't matter if they weren't hurt, you let a predator get near them... that's a HARD thing to swallow. Note, I'm not saying I feel you failed... I'm just pointing out what I would feel like in your shoes... and that It'd be REALLY hard to get past it... please do NOT think I'm criticizing at all... I'm just saying that's one of my biggest fears as a parent and is why I'm such a paranoid. You are strong enough to not only get past this, but also learn from it so you will be an even stronger parent from here on out. I doubt anyone will get within a mile of your kiddos from here out... so, this instance of "failure" might be a blessing... because had this not happened a year from now... five years... etc something might have that was worse (actual contact for instance) that now will NOT happen because you are beyond prepared. Your course has been altered, and thanks to finding out now, so has this man's. BEFORE he actually did physical harm. For that we should all be thankful. Boy I sound like an idiot... signing off.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

oh yeah, not only was he around them, he carried my 3 year old around the gym when the other (older) kids were doing things she couldn't... I am 99% sure that he didn't do anything bad to my kids, they are much younger than his preference (thank God for small miracles), and i think it would have been hard with all the other people around. But yes, it does give coaches a bad name. I am much less likely to trust anyone who has positioned themselves in order to be around kids... which includes every teacher, camp counselor, youth group leader, sunday school teacher, etc. our town also has an ex-minister who is a bad pedophile, but isn't on the registry, and is always around kids... and the town supports him, and drove his victim and her family out of town....

 

[TheBarnSwallow]

How crazy... sorry to hear about this too

Shows what this world is literally coming too... its now to common for men and women(remember the teacher and her student) to be so sexually perverted in their minds and take it out on children... Punishment is not harsh enough to deter and because of this, all these and more will continue to be on the rise with the sadistic acts getting worse...