Trying to wean... Advice Please?

[rubyrogue]

My son is 15 months old. I had him weaned during the day and was only nursing at night. Then the semester ended and now he wants to nurse all the time again. He will go and get his nursing pillow and try to drag it to me. He has gotten very very crabby when I wont nurse him. Last night was horrible he refused to sleep unless he was nursing. He screams bloody murder when I wont nurse him. At this point I know it is more of a comfort thing and I hate to take that away but I am exausted and want to get more than a few hours sleep at a time. I have tried the cry it out, its not for me. Today we made it the whole day not nursing(6am-8pm) but he threw a few fits. I nursed him after his bath and he fell asleep I tryed to lay him down and he woke up. I layed down with him on my bed and rubbed and patted his back he cried and tossed and turned and grabbed at my chest for about 40 min before he finally fell asleep. I know I am to blame since I always nursed him to sleep and he doesnt know how to cope by himself. I need some ideas on how to make this easier for both of us. He does not suck his thumb or take a binky.

 

[HennyJenny]

Ruby,
What if you just moved up the night time feed? It's been awhile but as I recall that bedtime one is the most difficult one to give up. Can you rearrange his bedtime routine a little? Try nursing for a few minutes shortly after dinner then bath then a story? It seems to me like the trick for us was to replace that sweet bedtime ritually with something equally as close (like snuggling while reading a story). Good luck!
Jenny

 

[LivinNewDreamInND]

I feel for you

I have definitely been there! Jenny has really good advice a new addition to his routine to distract him a little will help. Don't worry that 40 minutes will turn into 20 then 10 then none at all and pretty soon you will just miss having a "Booby Monster." My Great - Great Grandmother did tell me one trick that I did not utilize with my boys...When her oldest son needed to be weaned (70+ years ago) but was stubborn she put a fake bandage over herself and told him "Mommy has an owie no more nursing" I do not know if that would be more traumatic than helpful but it always reminded me that mothers have been going through the same thing we do since the dawn of time!

 

[Southernbelle]

I used to work for a lactation consultant for a few years and I've nursed my 3.

Anything connected with nursing should disappear for a while - the nursing pillow, the rocking chair you always nursed in, nursing beads (if you wore them), etc If you always slept in your bed and nursed him, he associates your bed with nursing. Can you take him to a different bed to settle him at night? Does he drink milk? Everytime he asks to nurse you can play dumb, "You want some milk? Here's your cup."

Become a moving target - whenever I sat down, my little ones thought that meant I was open to nursing, so when they'd come over and beg for it, I'd pick them up and walk to the kitchen to get them a snack or take them outside to play.

For my kids, the all or nothing seemed to work best. After a year old, the regular meals seemed to naturally replace some of the nursing and they mainly just wanted to nurse for naps and bedtime. I didn't intend to stop abruptly, but with my 2 younger ones, each time something came up that required me to wean quickly and after a day or two of not allowing them to nurse, they seemed to get over it.

Good luck!

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

I ate garlic cheese. THe best, cheddar with roasted garlic in it. yummy. My 15 month old daughter got one taste of the milk I made after eating that cheese, and that was that. SHe wanted NOTHING more to do with nursing.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

chickensducks&agoose :

I ate garlic cheese. THe best, cheddar with roasted garlic in it. yummy. My 15 month old daughter got one taste of the milk I made after eating that cheese, and that was that. SHe wanted NOTHING more to do with nursing.

Can't say I blame her; garlic is nasty!​

 

[Mandalina]

ovaltine in warm milk in a tippy cup worked here.She liked chocolate anything more than my milk LOL.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Never heard of a nursing pillow or beads, and I nursed both of mine. First weaned himself at about a year; second took a very long time and I encouraged him to wean, but did not force it.

Some questions you need to ask yourself is WHY you want to wean him. Is it because he is showing an incereased desire to nurse now that you are more available? Or because you feel it will be easier while you have more free time? Or... Once you have in your own mind (and you may already have it and have not shared it, which is fine) the WHY, you can then look at how.

I wonder if his desire to nurse is becuase he wants your attention, and does not know another way to spend time with you one on one. Maybe try spending a few uninterupted intervals of 20 minutes to an hour, spread out through the day where you focus on playing with him, reading to him, going for walks, take him to the library and help him pick out books, etc. Let voice mail answer the phone, turn off the TV and computer and just do things with him. Give him some new opportunities, but let him lead the activities.

Or his increased desire to nurse may be a sign of emotional need--if your routine has changed, so has his. Was he in daycare? Maybe he misses the caregiver and the other children, and doesn't understand what happened. That wouldn't mean that he loves you less, but rather that his predictable world has been shaken and become unpredictable, and unpredictable things can be scary, especially to a child.

Or he may be going through or at the brink of a developmental stage, and needs some etra emotional support. Studies have shown that young children who are given attention when they express a need become more independant and self-assured than ones who are expected to handle things on their own.

 

[LindsayB]

My son is 8 months old and I just weaned him last week. I know yours is much older than mine but I had the same issues. He was nursing ALL night long and just doing it for comfort. I didn't really want to stop bfing until he was close to a year but we are going on a trip at the end of the month and he is staying at Grandma's. At first it was really hard...Not just for him but for me too. I didn't realize how attached I was to nursing him! lol. I too do not like the 'cry it out' method. I tried all different kinds of bottles and sippys until I found some he liked and would take good. I started off weaning him just during the day and still nursing at night but after doing that for two days it backfired on me. Since he was getting 'me' at night he thought if he cried enough during the day he could get it too...So for a couple of days he wouldn't even take a bottle. So frustrating! I finally had to just stop him cold turkey. I rock him to sleep now instead of nursing and it seems to be working. I just had to find different ways to comfort him. The first couple of nights were very hard, lots of crying. But I just held him and tried to calm him down. I never left him to cry alone. Weaning is traumatic enough. The past two nights have been great. He has been going to bed at 9:30, waking up for a warm bottle around 4:00 and then going back to sleep. It is going to be very difficult to wean him and there will be times that you just want to give up and bf him again. Just be strong! Find different things to comfort him and make a routine each night. It will be hard the first couple of days and nights but then he will learn.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Quote:
I did that AND the garlic eating!!

We took it slow, I tried to keep reminding myself that this would be the last time in my life that I would ever nurse a baby and I would eventually get both my body and my life back. OK maybe it was not my body because dang, everything is there but none of it is where I left it!

And my life?? Well I got a new one of those.