VENT:Secret Santa Gifting-Yuck!

[punk-a-doodle]

And remember Santa is watching.. better be nice..

Oh man...I'd better hide that lamp I broke.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Okay, I'm going to have to stand up for the OP here. I totally understand her frustration. While it IS all about the thought and not about the monetary value of the gift, it is very hard to be the one on the unfortunate end of things when the Secret Santa gifts for everyone else are really nice. None of us know the true situation. While it is possible that the gifts are from a struggling family, it is also possible that the gift giver is just a slacker. Either way, it has to be disappointing for her daughter. It sounds like the OP IS talking to her daughter about being gracious when receiving a disappointing gift and it sounds like the daughter is handling it well. It is perfectly understandable that this mom is upset for her child just as it is perfectly acceptable for the OP to come on here and vent. We all do it. BYC is a great outlet for our frustrations if only because it is anonymous.

I have NEVER had a good Secret Santa experience. I finally wised up and quit participating. In all of my bad experiences it was never that the other participant could not afford the gifts. It was always that they didn't bother. Every single case it was adults participating. Every single case it was an optional thing to do. The worst one was when I actually had the guy that was also my secret santa. I put a lot of thought and effort into picking out gifts for him and had something cool for every single day (note that I don't say expensive. They were simple and thoughtful). He didn't do anything for the first four days and then gave me a stick for the last day. Yup. A stick. He took a stick out of the yard, wrote on it with a sharpie and glued some fringe on it as decoration.

I understand that money is often tight. Money was tight for me that year too. I made the decision to participate in the Secret Santa exchange because I thought it would be fun and be a great way to get to know some coworkers. The actual result was that my feelings were hurt and I felt left out. I really didn't want to play with these people anymore after that. It had nothing to do with the monetary value of things. It had everything to do with being ignored, forgotten and bypassed. I imagine that the OPs daughter doesn't care what things cost. I imagine that she just wants to feel like someone put some effort into the process. It doesn't take a lot of money to make someone feel special.

The teacher should perhaps find a better way for the kids to celebrate the season.

to the OP and her daughter

 

[Sunny Side Up]

Quote:

Oh I whole-heartedly agree! These days more folks are celebrating Christmas by spending less on obligatory gift exchanges and instead giving to more worthwhile causes. Do these children each really need 5 $1 gifts, or one $5 gift? What if instead they all pooled their $5 gift budgets and donated it to a charity of their choosing? They could still also have their own Christmas party and exchange thoughtful notes or something like that. And if someone is directing these kids to exchange gifts and pleasantries, then they should also monitor what is being given in order to provide guidance to the giver, the recipient, or both.

 

[aubreynoramarie]

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Im also going to play devils advocate here and say that you have 365 days to save up 5 dollars. its not going to break the bank. I bet those parents have cell phone plans and cable t.v. sounds more to me like a lazy kid.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Oh I whole-heartedly agree! These days more folks are celebrating Christmas by spending less on obligatory gift exchanges and instead giving to more worthwhile causes. Do these children each really need 5 $1 gifts, or one $5 gift? What if instead they all pooled their $5 gift budgets and donated it to a charity of their choosing? They could still also have their own Christmas party and exchange thoughtful notes or something like that. And if someone is directing these kids to exchange gifts and pleasantries, then they should also monitor what is being given in order to provide guidance to the giver, the recipient, or both.

Sounds like the OP would rather have a party happen, so definitely worth pushing for.​

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

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This would be a GREAT lesson for all the kids. Instead she is choosing to have one kid learn that life isn't fair and that she needs to deal with disappointment. While both of those things are true, it does seem like a better choice would be to do something beneficial to all the children. If I were the OP I would be unhappy as well.

 

[goldies99]

"PEOPLE"..... you ALL need to GET OVER IT!....so the kid is disappointed!!....it happen to my kid too...and she LIVED!!!!!....you could have real problems like a sick child with no cure or a child with dead parents!...the dollar gift really DOESNT matter!!!.......move on to something worth worring about...and have a good christmas!

 

[Peaches Lee]

I agree with Redhen, these Secret Santa things should be banned at schools.

When I was in school, I got a girl a Breyer horse model (she liked horses). She scoffed at it, looked at it like it was garbage, you should have seen the disappointment on her face! A *Breyer* horse model!

Then there was a girl that had very little money, so she bought a plastic doll for another girl. The girl freaked out and actually slammed the toy down and called it a piece of junk!

Gift giving at this age should be best left up to the parents. And schools could celebrate with cookies, candies and decorating.

 

[speckledhen]

I think we're done with this subject. Thanks for your participation.