Warped values?

[peepdaddy]

I went to a college graduation a couple years ago. One of the honored, featured speakers was a lady who had taken 13 years to graduate. Along the way she had kids out of wedlock, several lost jobs, substance abuse and public assistance, etc. At first glance this is an uplifting story of a woman who overcame much adversity and persevered to obtain her degree. And in truth there are some valuable lessons here and we should be happy for her. However, should she be singled out and lauded for overcoming her many bad decisions? What about that young lady or man who had a 4.0 in high school, graduated valedictorian, didn't drink or do drugs, worked a full time job while a full time college student, finished college in 3.5 years and graduated at the top of the class? I'm sure that student (or one similar) exists. Would it not be fitting to honor that person as a featured speaker? This is someone who did not have to overcome the results of many bad decisions because they made good decisions and did things the right way. As members of a society shouldn't we reward the ones who strive to succeed through planning, hard work and good decisions?
Now, I know that many of us make poor decisions at times. We lose our way and sometimes suffer severe and even heartbreaking consequences.But can we not value the person who avoids drugs more than the recovering addict, the person who stays a healthy weight rather than the one who weighed three times their ideal weight and struggled to lose it, the one who has always been law-abiding instead of the reformed criminal? I could go on and on with examples. Do we tend to celebrate the "rule breakers" and fail to appreciate the steady, rule follower as much as we should? What do all of you think?

 

[drumstick diva]

I really don't know how to answer that. Except that I was more along the good student, etc. bit but I learned early on my family was not the type to brag about me or cheer me on. I guess you could say I learned to achieve for myself and didn't need someone else to validate it.

 

[wyoDreamer]

I do agree that we tend to make heros out of those that have straightened their life out after screwing it up royally. It would be great to be able to laud those that make "good" choices, but the inspiration of overcoming is going to be a better story...

 

[BantamFan4Life]

Sometimes, who gets "credit" and "honor" seems unfair. But, to be honest, getting credit isn't what it's all about. Think of Nikola Tesla, who made fabulous inventions, including big breakthroughs in lightbulbs, yet Thomas Edison got all the credit. Ultimately, honor and respect are nice, but it's the personal achievement that matters as well as knowing that the Lord is cheering you on throughout your life. On this subject, everyone should be praised in their own way, but don't take no credit or recognition personally--it's just life. I don't think I've been praised or recognized in my whole life...but I've learned to not be bothered by it. It's frustrating, but it's life, and life isn't fair

 

[peepdaddy]

Thanks to those of you who responded. There were comments concerning the self-satisfaction of personal achievements. I agree that the recognition of one's own achievements is very satisfying and validates all the effort and self-sacrifice that it takes to reach most any worthwhile goal. However, reaching the point where one understands and fully appreciates this (for many of us) only comes with maturity. Many, who haven't reached that level of maturity, are left looking for praise and validation outside themselves. Outside praise and recognition for those folks can be very significant and may be the encouragement they need to work hard, avoid the many pitfalls and ultimately realize their hopes and dreams. That may be the best reason for recognizing the ones "who do it right"

 

[BantamFan4Life]

Thanks to those of you who responded. There were comments concerning the self-satisfaction of personal achievements. I agree that the recognition of one's own achievements is very satisfying and validates all the effort and self-sacrifice that it takes to reach most any worthwhile goal. However, reaching the point where one understands and fully appreciates this (for many of us) only comes with maturity. Many, who haven't reached that level of maturity, are left looking for praise and validation outside themselves. Outside praise and recognition for those folks can be very significant and may be the encouragement they need to work hard, avoid the many pitfalls and ultimately realize their hopes and dreams. That may be the best reason for recognizing the ones "who do it right"

Totally agree. Maybe people should not necessarily give them "credit," in front of an audience, but, instead do a more one on one praise--encouraging young people to follow their dreams and strengths. That way, others don't get jealous and feel like they aren't good enough, etc.

 

[Athaid]

Well, yes and no. We tend to celebrate people like the woman you mentioned above because they have overcome the bad things that have happened to them; they've had rough times, made awful decisions, but they fought through it and learnt from the experiences. Allowing themselves to grow as a person, not to break. A lot of people will become addicted to drugs or alcohol and will never recover from it, wasting away the remainder of their days. Everyone has challenges to overcome, but some people have it a lot easier than others and have a better chance in life. It's like celebrating someone who has a severe physical deformity, but who doesn't give up on life and finds a way to love and accept themselves. If you look like a supermodel then it's a lot easier for you to do this; not that being good looking means you can't have self-confidence issues. The deeper you dig your hole the harder it is for you to get out, and many people seem to start life out in a hole. You don't get to choose the cards you're dealt, and that's not very fair, but that's life. People admire someone who tries.

 

[Athaid]

Apologies for my grammar, it's 5am and my brain hasn't woken up yet. I hope you get my point.

 

[BantamFan4Life]

Well, yes and no. We tend to celebrate people like the woman you mentioned above because they have overcome the bad things that have happened to them; they've had rough times, made awful decisions, but they fought through it and learnt from the experiences. Allowing themselves to grow as a person, not to break. A lot of people will become addicted to drugs or alcohol and will never recover from it, wasting away the remainder of their days. Everyone has challenges to overcome, but some people have it a lot easier than others and have a better chance in life. It's like celebrating someone who has a severe physical deformity, but who doesn't give up on life and finds a way to love and accept themselves. If you look like a supermodel then it's a lot easier for you to do this; not that being good looking means you can't have self-confidence issues. The deeper you dig your hole the harder it is for you to get out, and many people seem to start life out in a hole. You don't get to choose the cards you're dealt, and that's not very fair, but that's life. People admire someone who tries.

Very true