Was I wrong??? *rant* VERY LONG!!!

[freshegg]

I dont agree with the morally bound part, there are some parents that have been so awful to there children that they deserve to die alone. My parents are not them I had a pickett fence life but I have seen some horrific parents in my years.

I dont think you were wrong to call you were trying to help. she will be relieved once the church pays the bills and she is warm again and even though she problely wont admit it she should end up grateful after its all said and done.
Quote:

 

[Opa]

Sadly, it is very common for those we try to help, to be angry or resentful. They're often are in a situation they can not control. This is a common problem with the elderly. They remember what was and cannot accept what is. I have for years gladly helped my parents while a younger brother has done nothing but sponge and create problems. After my father passed and my brother's actions had destroyed my mother finacially, I had to move my mother in with me. Now I still hear about how good my brother was. I became the "bad guy" in the whole situation. Sometimes it is very hurtful but I take solace in knowing I've done the right thing. Sometimes, all you can or should do is what you believe to be right. Then bite your tongue when they complain. They just need to vent and usually it's about their situation rather than you; they just can't admit it. I have bitten my tongue so much lately that it is surprizing that I am able to talk. Just keep trying. God will truly bless you.

 

[Florida chick]

You have a good heart. What is wrong, is her asking when you guys are tight. She really needs to FIND help for herself if she obviously can NOT do it alone. There are Utility funds, Foodstamps, Medicare and other systems available. NO ELDELY person should be without heat in Nov! She needs an assisted living type situation if she can't get the help she needs at home. What would be a shame is if something happened to her without electric and no heat, and noone did anything to change her situation. If she "hates" you so be it, do what is right for her and your family. Goodluck

 

[HennysMom]

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry you're having to endure the "wrath"

been there and done it. You did the right thing, you did exactly what you were supposed to do and you shouldnt feel bad about it nor made to feel bad about it.

Ours is a little different situation - hubby's side - well... - they dont feel they should have to help his grandmother who lives on very little and gives what SHE can to help them out, they never call her (even though they live right there) and we are the only ones that call or visit. She sends everyone from her own kids to great grandchildren $ every christmas and has for years, from $20.00 to $5.00 per person, she saves all year long to do this and it just irritates me to death because SHE goes without, yet she wants to do this special thing and then some relatives go " what am I going to do with $5.00?!"

We always call her and thank her, tell her she shouldnt have done such a nice thing, but...she knows she will get it back because we always send her a few hundred dollars at Christmas time and then throughout the year. She always balks at it and says we need it more than she does and threatens to return it...

but she never does. I think its just her way to "protest" so that she doesnt have to admit that she actually needs it.

I applaud you for what you did and have done. Sometimes peoples pride gets in the way of everything and it sounds like granny is just a bit too proud to ask anyone other than family for help - regardless that she needs it or not, and thats terrible to put on your shoulders.

You just keep doing what you're doing hunny...

 

[Oblio13]

Sounds like my ex MIL, a sanctimonious hypocrite who constantly criticized others behind their backs. It's a huge relief to have her out of my life. Back in the day, though, I just did my best to avoid her. Wasn't always easy, though.

 

[Rusty Hills Farm]

I haven't read the whole thread, so if this has already been said, I apologize. My first thought is that pride is one of the biggies--one of the 7 deadly sins--and that's grandma's problem here. Maybe someone--not YOU for sure--needs to gently remind her of this fact. Maybe her minister? The giving of charity is a good deed, but so is receiving it graciously. Being willing to accept it allows others to grow into better people that they might not have become without this opportunity. So even though I am not a Christian, I do see this as a religious issue that is way more important than the financial one.

HTH

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

Not only did you do the right thing in calling her church, but I would call all the state agencies and let them know of her needs as well.
Hey, since she already doesnt like you go full bore into the fray.
You did a good thing. The right thing. For both her and your family.

My neighbor recently became a widow after 53 years of marriage. Luckily her daughter lives right behind her(yards abut) but I will also be looking out for her, as will the other neighbors.
A bunch of us are currently planning on calling the state in about our other neighbor and her "living" conditions. And she isnt elderly. Just a bit off her rocker.

 

[Oblio13]

Quote:
Since you brought it up, have I ever told you my Gilligan's Island theory? No? Well, this is your lucky day.

It came to me in a flash of brilliance one day as Ginger and Maryanne were preparing for the arrival of headhunters from another island:

Each of the seven characters represents one of the deadly sins. The professor = pride, skipper = anger, Ginger = lust, etc.

And you thought it was just shallow TV entertainment.

 

[Cetawin]

No you are not wrong....they are there to help and she should accept the help graciously.

Just remember one thing...as we age, we seem to get a stronger streak of pride. We do not want someone else to "take care" of us and want to be able to do for ourselves. I saw it with my grandparents and it is what it is. Do the best you can and sleep well at night knowing that you are doing the right thing and helping to the best of your ability.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Since you brought it up, have I ever told you my Gilligan's Island theory? No? Well, this is your lucky day.

It came to me in a flash of brilliance one day as Ginger and Maryanne were preparing for the arrival of headhunters from another island:

Each of the seven characters represents one of the deadly sins. The professor = pride, skipper = anger, Ginger = lust, etc.

And you thought it was just shallow TV entertainment.

the millionare=greed..etc...LOL...awesome insight!..

..lmao...what was Gilligans?