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I completely agree with the enabling thing. I totally think she needs to seek out help, and the fact that she was willing to take money from us but not from her church kinda upset me. Althought the Bible does not say that whole "God helps those who help themselves", I get the concept. It's about the whole Ask and you shall receive thing. If she doesn't ask and SWALLOW HER PRIDE she won't get anything.
As far as having a conversation with her that's not gonna happen. She hates my guts and won't talk to me for nothing. I can't stand her but I still care dearly for her, and I know it's her own stubborness and pride that is doing this. And she has heard it from us, not me personally cause it doesn't mean a hill of beans what I say, but from my husband. He went off on her last night telling her that if she won't accept money from the church then she sure as h-e-double-hockey-sticks sure ain't gonna accept it from us. He also told her that God will provide, just not the way she wants Him to.
I have been turning this over in my head, and I have felt somewhat angry when she asks us for money. Part of my anger, I know, is from the spite I feel towards her, but part is because of the fact that I feel she is walking all over us and my husband is letting her do it. He feels bad for her and wants to help her. There are some things I don't have a problem with, like the fact that when she was without a fridge for 7 months we got her one. That's something I can understand. $20 here and there isn't that big of a deal. But $60 in two weeks is a little bit more of a problem.
Last night she called the church and FORBID them from helping her. She said she had a check coming and would pay it herself, meaning that her water got shut off and she's just gonna wait till she gets her check before paying the bill AND the reconnect fee. I really want to call and talk to her, but I know she won't listen. So now she is in her home with no water and no heat.....All because she's stubborn. I don't know what else to do!! She's old and senile and stubborn and crazy, she can be the sweetest thing when she wants something but if you cross her you'll see a completely different person. I don't know what to do!!!! At this point it's really too late, but isn't there someone who can be called on her to FORCE her to give in???
I completely agree with the enabling thing. I totally think she needs to seek out help, and the fact that she was willing to take money from us but not from her church kinda upset me. Althought the Bible does not say that whole "God helps those who help themselves", I get the concept. It's about the whole Ask and you shall receive thing. If she doesn't ask and SWALLOW HER PRIDE she won't get anything.
As far as having a conversation with her that's not gonna happen. She hates my guts and won't talk to me for nothing. I can't stand her but I still care dearly for her, and I know it's her own stubborness and pride that is doing this. And she has heard it from us, not me personally cause it doesn't mean a hill of beans what I say, but from my husband. He went off on her last night telling her that if she won't accept money from the church then she sure as h-e-double-hockey-sticks sure ain't gonna accept it from us. He also told her that God will provide, just not the way she wants Him to.
I have been turning this over in my head, and I have felt somewhat angry when she asks us for money. Part of my anger, I know, is from the spite I feel towards her, but part is because of the fact that I feel she is walking all over us and my husband is letting her do it. He feels bad for her and wants to help her. There are some things I don't have a problem with, like the fact that when she was without a fridge for 7 months we got her one. That's something I can understand. $20 here and there isn't that big of a deal. But $60 in two weeks is a little bit more of a problem.
Last night she called the church and FORBID them from helping her. She said she had a check coming and would pay it herself, meaning that her water got shut off and she's just gonna wait till she gets her check before paying the bill AND the reconnect fee. I really want to call and talk to her, but I know she won't listen. So now she is in her home with no water and no heat.....All because she's stubborn. I don't know what else to do!! She's old and senile and stubborn and crazy, she can be the sweetest thing when she wants something but if you cross her you'll see a completely different person. I don't know what to do!!!! At this point it's really too late, but isn't there someone who can be called on her to FORCE her to give in???
