Was I wrong??? *rant* VERY LONG!!!

[DuckLady]

You did the absolute right thing. Sometimes it is hardest to help those who are nasty to us, but that you did it anyway shows what you are made of.

Quote:
Dopey? Oh wait wrong story.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

You absolutely did the right thing. I do have a suggestion for you. If you know who provides her utilities you could call them and ask them to call her and let her know that she qualifies for "discounts" on her utilities. She needs to realize that it's no different than qualifying for exemptions on property taxes or a senior citizen discount at McDonald's. I have no idea if the utility companies would do it because I've never tried it before. But it is at least worth the try.

 

[Oblio13]

Quote:
Sloth.

 

[maplesky7]

It's called LIHEAP...in these parts.

You go down and see if you qualify for asst. for your utilities. Your heat does have to be turned off before they step in. Sounds like she'd qualify.


Sounds like she needs to be in an assisted living home if she is not able to do the essentials....that includes paying her bills to keep her house heated.

And there are laws against shutting off heat in the winter...but if it wasn't winter....then they can shut it off.

God be with you.

me,
g

 

[Wifezilla]

You did the right thing.

I have friends that are helping elderly relatives. They will not give cash though...they go directly to the utility company and pay the bill.

 

[Julie08]

Is she of sound mind? If so then yes it was wrong for you to call the church.

 

[horsejody]

OMG. Reading these posts and thinking of my own relatives makes me realize that there is one in every family (sometimes more than 1). You did the right thing. If you are strapped for cash, there is nothing wrong with asking the church. If she is angry, that's her problem.

 

[horsejody]

Most area have a senior services or senior welfare office. Have you called them. They can have a social worker check on her and sign her up for assistance. If she doesn't like it, too bad. She has no right to demand help from you and refuse it from anywhere else.
JMHO

 

[country lady]

Some of you are treating this as an age thing but I bet this lady was a stinker when she was young. I have seen too many sweet elderly. IMO a young stinker will only grow worse with age. Evidently, this lady is there! I'm sorry she is causing you stress when she could be a loving grandmother.

 

[QuailHollow]

I feel as if you're enabling this woman. It is your moral obligation to care for your immediate family. Would you give a heroin addict heroin? Likely not. Yet by giving her money, you will enable her to stay in this situation. Help her see the light of some other alternative. She obviously needs an income. And if she has one - she needs someone to help her manager the out-going expenses. She does not need handed cash. You say she won't call the elderly assistance options? Does not god help those who help themselves? Sometimes tough love is in order. She needs to get off her high-horse and save herself. Nobody can do that for you.

There is no "am I right" or "am I wrong". First, when you say she flipped out because it "WASN'T YOUR BUSINESS" - Dear - she MADE IT your *business* when she leaned on you and others to pay for her obligations! Haven't you heard? The borrower is slave to the lender. She forfeit her ability to have a SAY in this when she lost her pride and her self-respect begging for money. Yes BEGGING. If she needs help, she needs to ask you what sources are available for her to seek out for assistance. Not BEG. She would know this - as if it were my mother in law - she'd hear it straight from my mouth.

You need to have a frank conversation with this woman about her situation. I have a feeling that the reason she believes that borrowing money from you is 'a.okay' is because you haven't clearly indicated to her otherwise. That, in my opinion, is your part of the blame in this situation.