Washingtonians Come Together! Washington Peeps

[itsren]

Unfortunately sports seem to revolve around winning, and not about allowing everyone to belong.

The sense of belonging is critical to success. There was a mention on the news yesterday about popularity in high-school, and adult earnings. It comes as no surprise to me, because of course those who can charm, play well with others, and belong are going to win more. Those with a sense of "belonging" will always have an easier adulthood.

If sports can teach this then great, otherwise I was able to give my children this skill through other means.

I agree. Between my 3 kids ages 10 and under, I have sat through and watched 22 different seasons of sports. My daughter excels. My boys have been put down and made fun of, ironically, by the adults, not the kids. At a young age, kids are accepting of each other. ALL of the boys on every single team my boys have played on have been accepting of them.

As a sports parent, I have been able to "fit in" with other parents when my daughter is playing. Parents want us around, and she gets put in. She has never been benched.

When my boys have played, we've gotten glares from parents. At end of season, coaches have gushed over the athletic ability of other boys, only to say things regarding my boys like "I'm not even sure what to say about this boy". Thanks for saying that in front of 30-some adults and a team of kids. Not.

Until our kids started playing Upward, I walked away from every single end of season party that my boys attended, gotten in the vehicle and burst into tears. Upward changed things for us. Upward is an educational league, not a competitive league. They test the kids prior to the season and design teams that will be competitive so no team will win or lose more than the others. Games are scored, but the score is tossed as soon as the game is over. No one is supposed to track the wins/losses of the season. This is how a game goes where our kids play... at the beginning of each game, kids are called out one by one with motivational music playing in the background. The crowd cheers - for every kid. Every kid plays 1/2 of every single game. No one is benched. At the end of each game, every kid is awarded a star and the coach is required to say something nice about the child and explain what he/she did in the game to earn that star - this makes the coaches have to find and focus on the positives of each child. At the end of the season, a booklet is put together with every child's name in it and what team they were on. Every child gets called up, by name, on stage and given a gift. It's amazing to watch somewhere close to 600 to 800 people packed into a room and cheering each kid on. There are no winners. There are no losers. Everyone gets a chance to learn how to play a sport and be part of a team. It is church-based, but I would guess about half the kids who play in Upward don't go to church at all.

Upward was designed because of what you described - the need for every child to feel like they belong. I wish Upward had been around when we were growing up.

 

[Chicken Rustler]

Anyone care for a coke??? This is good.

The Most Outrageous Way to Share a Coke

 

[Ogress]

Thank you CR.

Having 2 boys who are not athletically gifted, the level of competition that has been brought into sports at such a young age has brought hurt that I never expected. We've invested hundreds of dollars, season after season, for our boys to be in soccer and Little League so they could learrn to play sports along with other children only to watch our boys be benched time and time again. We started them at age 4 when everyone else was starting them. Sports became so competitive by age 7 they started getting benched. Even worse, having to listen to mean parents yelling at my boys to "Stop running like a girl" or some other nasty thing was horrific. Let me tell you, I've heard it all. I finally found solice sitting with the opposing team because my blood would boil listening to people screaming at my boys who were doing the absolute best they could for their abilities. There was one situation where a couple kept screaming my son's name and yelling "This is running sport, not a walking sport" at my son on the soccer field because he wasn't able to run as fast as they'd like. After the game, I went to the coach and said she'd better do something, becaise if she didn't, momma bear was coming out and it would get ugly. Thankfully, she heard them screaming at my son through the game and did deal with it. Then he was benched the rest of the season.

I pulled our boys out of sports and the only sports we will allow them to play now is Upward - because it is honest, fair and supportive of all children in the league. I wish I could find a video I have of my son. ALL coaches were concerned because he had gone the entire season without making a single basket in a game. They did everything to help him. The last game they spent most of the game passing the ball to my son. Still no basket. The last few minutes of the last game, a boy from the opposing team stopped, turned to my son, threw him the ball and told him to run. My son was confused, but all the parents and both teams started screaming for him to run. Both teams backed away from the basket, making it easier for my son to make a shot and he made his very first basket just seconds before the buzzer rang. The entire gym was cheering for my son, parents and both teams. Let me tell you, that moment will live with me forever. I was so overwhelmed by what so many people did for my son I had to run into the sports closet because I could not contain the tears. That, to me, is true sportsmanship.

I had similar bad experiences with my kids, especially, for once, with my daughter; sually it is the autistic kid who is left out! Alex's coaches were familiar with his autism and his limitations and also his strenths. He did have one angry assistant coach who settled down after I gave him a stern talk.

I had Olivia moved from a bad soccer coach to a much worse one. First 3 years, peewee, were fine. But Olivia did not do well when they went to all-girl teams. The first coach did not treat Olivia poorly, but she took soccer much too seriously for a rec sport team. She held 2 hour practices for 3rd grade girls 4X per week plus before the Saturday game, rain or shine, light or dark. We'd often be the only team out there practicing in pouring rains and high winds and despite these efforts, the girls still lost most games which would only make her more demanding. It was hailing and I told her the storm would be here soon, but she said the girls would practice anyways, until she saw lightening. We were the only team out in the pounding ice pellets. 2 girls complained and she sidelined them (I think one was her daughter). She herd my ask one a question and yelled not to talk to them as they are her "problem children". It then started thundering so I grabbed Olivia and headed to the car with her yelling after me that practice was not over! To her credit she did play all the girls equally in games and in positions.

I requested a different coach the following season. At first I was impressed. He worked the girls hard, but did not do crazy practices. But then the games started. The girls won nearly every game, but Olivia was always on the sides. He'd play her maybe the last 2 minutes of the first half and that would be it for the game, even though the team usually only had 2 or 3 extra players, and sometimes we'd be short. Olivia would still be sidelined! I confronted him and he told me that Olivia was too unfit to play and that if she can't run faster, she can't play. I told him this is a rec league, not a select team. He started putting her in once during each half most games, but I doubt she was ever, in 2 years he was her coach, on the field for more than 4 minutes at a time and that is no exaggeration. She worked very hard, went to every practice, (and then some since she had to stay for her brothers practice which was immediately after) she ran the same many laps as all the other girls and has an amazing and accurate kick when she can get the ball, but she runs slow, is not aggressive and was never good at getting the ball away from anyone, though she is good at blocking. He admitted that she works very hard during practice but said he did not see the same effort in games, probably because he would immediately pull her out whenever she would miss a kick or someone would get past her. It made her feel like ****. One of the other parents took notice of this and said I needed to confront the coach again, maybe openly so other parents would back me. I did so in a polite reply-all to one of his e-mails. Dang, most of the parents sided with the coach!!! They felt their girls shouldn't have to risk losing first place because Olivia is not good enough. Even the ex-wife of the father who stood by me told me to stop stirring the pot and let it be! (this was very awkward because I've known the couple for 20 years - long before they were married and then divorced; and after the divorce I was much closer with the wife because he strayed far). At the end of the season, when all ther girls their certificates with what their strengths were, she got "cheerleader" the first year and "most improved" the next. She was very upset because the other girls awards had to do with soccer skills, and that "most improved" meant nothing since she wasn't allowed to play. We could not take any more of it. No soccer this season for the first time in 11 years! Olivia's self esteem has improved tremendously.

 

[Ogress]

I will have to look in to Upward Sport. I have never heard of them.

 

[Ogress]

I gave my birds the choice of the 2x2 or the 2x4 laid flat and they've chosen the 2x4. DH says we can get some 2x6s and see if they like that even better. That should give them plenty of space to lay and still let the poop drop down.

My big breeds prefer the 2X6 laid flat. The EE's and Ameracaunas prefer to roost on the 2X2 that I have at the top edge of the nesting boxes. My huge hens sit on the steps of kitchen stools.

 

[Ogress]

http://greenfirefarms.com/2012/10/zero-waste-feeder/

I thought this might be interesting. It's the feed equivalent of water nipples.

I'm thinking they are going to have some skinny chickens!

I just need to stop feeding the rats and I will do better with the feed. They mostly get into the feeder in the eglu rooster run as that is the most difficult food to lock up due the to a certain rooster by the name of CinnamonS****head. I wish I had it in me to just off him. I found a drowned rat in his waterer this morning .... nasty!

Does anyone use a battery-operated chicken pop door? How do you like it? Is it reliable? I want to put one on my main coop. Too much shade and snow in the winter for the solar powered opener.

 

[Ogress]

Hi all. Decided to drop by and check out the new thread. Also wanted to share a progress picture of the High Tunnel. Should have it ready for plastic this weekend providing there is no wind. So excited about growing in it soon.

Hi Lynn! Looks Great! How exciting!!!!! What a great place that will be to get out of the weather and still be able to work in the garden. How tall and long is it? Does not look like you will bump our hear on hanging pots like I do in my little greenhouse.

 

[Ogress]

I'm talking to myself again, I seem to have a habit of doing that here. - Nighty night!

 

[itsren]

I will have to look in to Upward Sport. I have never heard of them.

http://www.upward.org/

Upward is held in different churches, although probably half, or even more of the kids don't go to the church that runs the program. You can click on the "Find a League" tab and it will show you where Upward is being hosted. Through Upward, children can play Basketball, Soccer, Football or Cheerleading. My daughter was a cheerleader the first year she played Upward, now she just wants to play Basketball. She said cheering is boring. LOL. She wants to be in the middle of the action.

 

[Chicken Rustler]

No word from Lyn / Cowgirlgrace (yet) I am still planning to go up there this morning unless called off. Since this is urban it looks like there may well need to be some door knocking to Get word out. Also good chance of need for some ground teams (walkers).