Well....My wife passed away

[Outpost JWB]

So sorry to hear of your loss

Just know you have good friends here when you need to talk.

 

[chandarichards]

So sorry for your loss! Beautiful words though..

 

[Spookwriter]

I've gone back and read this thread more that a
few times.

I've not responded because I just don't know the
words to say.

There simply are none.

Am I better?

No. I'm not.

It's a hurt that won't let up. I don't know the last time
I slept all night. Long time ago. I wake up at night and
she's not there, and I'm done sleeping.

I get up and set in the chair by our bed.

And I miss her brand new.

A few times, when it was warm enough, I've went to
the cemetery to spend the night.

I've went out to eat, without her. And I've left it on the
table. Not eating right. Don't feel like making anything
harder than a sandwich.

Since I was a boy...long before I became a man...she
was the center of my world. She was all there was. And
I'm lost without her. Just lost.

Everything we did, we did together. I can't even go to the
grocery store without hurting. I'll see someone I know, they'll
ash where Barb is...IF you saw one of us, you saw both.
And I'll have to explain that Barb passed away.

I know that part of my life is over. I got that.

But knowing it in my mind doesn't make it any easier in my
heart.

So no. Not doing good. Even Em will tell you, I'm not talking.
I may type. But not talking much. Nothing to say.

I'm hurt. I'm hurting deep. A pain no doctor can heal.

I need time. Don't know how much time. Don't know what kind
of person I'll be when I get beyond this.

I just need time to heal.

Spook

 

[User395221]

Just so you know that while you deal with this loss, there are people who feel your pain and wish they could take it away and make things right again for you.

 

[N F C]

Spook

That's all, just

 

[Outpost JWB]

I cannot honestly say I know what you are going through. Never been that close to anyone. So sorry. I hope the pain subsides a little more each day. I will pray for you.

 

[Bunnylady]

We understand about not wanting to talk, but are grateful for anything you do say.

 

[EggSighted4Life]

Dear Spook,

Though I don't know you well, I have read many of your truly insightful posts. I don't expect you to respond, just want to say... Sorry for what may be the biggest loss in your life. No words will heal your hurt. When they say "time heals all wounds", I don't buy it. It may eventually help the pain fade but the scar remains forever, sometimes getting inflamed. I hope the day never comes when I have to face the loss of my hubby. Honestly I worry about it all the time since he travels 5 hours each way through the mountains to get home from work every other week, often in the pouring rain. So I can appreciate your point to treasure every moment you have together. For me the loss of a spouse is much greater than that of say your parents (no offense to those who lost parents). Your spouse is the person you CHOSE to spend your life with and they chose you. Someone you can count on, who will always have your back and defend you. We grow up knowing that we will leave our parents one day. But we decided to commit to our spouses until death do we part. We just never really expect that to happen and certainly not to be the one left behind.

I cried for you. I cried for your loss. Even though I may be a late comer, I have much compassion and empathy for what you are going through. I encourage you that while your pain is excruciating, your TRULY BELOVED WIFE is no longer in any pain. I grieve with you while remembering to celebrate your wife's life.

While I wish I knew what to say, sometimes it's best to say nothing and just be there. Sorry if as a stranger I am making you uncomfortable, but I will listen if you need me to. No advice, no judgement. Just compassion!

Sincerely,
~Alyssa

 

[Wisher1000]

We love you, Spook.

 

[3goodeggs]