What did you all do about your dissaproving DH?

[hikerchick]

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So a man can only support you in what you want if there is something in it for him? Selfish, selfish.

The more I read the more I am glad I am not married. It seems that women have to resort to manipulation and sexual favors just to claim the rights that are already theirs. Weird, and so sad.

 

[Judy]

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My thoughts exactly. That's why I spent most of my adult life unmarried.

I know there are some wonderful marriages out there, and more power to those folks, but I have seen or heard of few.

 

[kagedgoddess]

Mrs. Glassman :

My DH is into collecting guns.

We have an unspoken agreement...he doesn't say that I have too many chickens, & I don't say that he doesn't need another gun.

Let him break that just once......I'll be glad to point out my hobby is WAY less expensive than his hobby.

Get the man a hobby!

LOL!! this is my DH too!!!before guns it was guitars tho $$$$$$!!!!!! so yeah, when he starts fussing i do say that mine are cheaper AND DH eats like 6 eggs a day, so i NEED six hens, lol.
seriously tho. my DH is always saying i have dumb ideas, so i just ignore him tell him he s a jerk and do it anyways, i deal with him being a jerk for a day or too, but he gets over it. if its real bad tho, i just tell him we're having spaggetti for dinner for a week if his attitude doesnt fix. (he doesnt like it, or cooking)
Also xdh worked for citibank, its a $15,000 fine for stores to require a minimum charge to use a card with a visa/mastercard/etc logo. FYI. i hate stores that do that!! esp so HIGH an amount! AND to use debit, the bank charges you, Not the store, so there is no excuse.​

 

[okiron]

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So a man can only support you in what you want if there is something in it for him? Selfish, selfish.

The more I read the more I am glad I am not married. It seems that women have to resort to manipulation and sexual favors just to claim the rights that are already theirs. Weird, and so sad.

I do not want sheep. If hubby wanted sheep darn straight I better get something out of it for putting up with the darn things if I let him have them at all. If you don't want to deal with something, you don't want to deal with it.

 

[farmerkim]

I said what do you think about getting some chickens..no. So then I said how about a goat..no. How about a cow..no. How about a pig..no. Then how about a lama..no.

I suggested a new animal every week, and really made him think I was considering it. At the end of that I suggested chickens again. Then chickens sounded like a good idea.

 

[hikerchick]

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So a man can only support you in what you want if there is something in it for him? Selfish, selfish.

The more I read the more I am glad I am not married. It seems that women have to resort to manipulation and sexual favors just to claim the rights that are already theirs. Weird, and so sad.

I do not want sheep. If hubby wanted sheep darn straight I better get something out of it for putting up with the darn things if I let him have them at all. If you don't want to deal with something, you don't want to deal with it.

What about the fact that it would bring joy to someone you supposedly love? Or do you not care about how your partner feels? I don't get that kind of selfishness, sorry. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing someone you love happy, even if it means they are doing something that is not about you.

 

[hikerchick]

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That is exactly what children do with their parents. It seems an odd way for adults to interact with each other.

 

[okiron]

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I do not want sheep. If hubby wanted sheep darn straight I better get something out of it for putting up with the darn things if I let him have them at all. If you don't want to deal with something, you don't want to deal with it.

What about the fact that it would bring joy to someone you supposedly love? Or do you not care about how your partner feels? I don't get that kind of selfishness, sorry. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing someone you love happy, even if it means they are doing something that is not about you.

So I am allowed to be unhappy as long as he's happy? Isn't that selfish of him to want something that would make me unhappy? Or does the selfishness only go one way?

 

[Chicks_N_Horses]

Some of us just realize that marriage isn't about what we want. I certainly don't have to resort to manipulation. Marriage is the most wonderful relationship you could ever have. I can't even describe the wonderfulness it is in my life! It is a partnership and if my DH doesn't approve of something then I don't disrespect him and go over his head and say "who cares what you think, I am a grown woman and I will do what I want" (or vice versa)- that attitude my friends, is why so many end in divorce.

My DH has had plenty of things come up that I didn't approve of or care for. I sure am glad he doesn't disrespect me and my feelings and say "who cares what you think, I do what I want because I am an adult and I can". Things, no matter how small, have to be decided together IMO - what is small to one person may be a big deal to another, everyone has different personalities.

Maybe I am a little old fashioned or that I am a christian woman and the word of God tells me that my DH is the head of our family and he gets to be the final decision maker. He is not some boss of me, he loves me and respects me and he has given me a life I could never have dreamed of having and given the opportunity to be able to do what I love with my life....work with horses and animals and stay at home to raise my children. I respect my DH as a man and the head of our family and the very intelligent man that he is.

My DH tells me no or advises me against things at times (most concerning taking in more animals - we have over 100 here - over a 200$/mo feed bill too that he works hard to earn to pay) SO, not always are our DHs just being controlling and mean to us when they aren't in favor of what we want. And this goes both ways with spouses.

Sad that other women think men are just controlling their poor little wives when they are doing what God programed them to do - to be our provider, protector, and the head of our family. With that, your DHs are to love and cherish you like no other, mine sure does and makes me feel his love every single day of my life. Certainly, there are violent and abusive controlling men but I doubt the OPs DH is one of those...just one who isn't into chickens (like tons of people in this world) and maybe is a little jealous of his wifes time. That isn't a horrible thing, that means they have things to work on and work out....and if you go off intentionally doing what a spouse doesn't approve of because you can then you aren't really being an asset to your own marriage either. I would never throw away my exceptionally wonderful DH over him telling me no over something because I sure have told him no on things he has wanted!! JMO

Sorry but I wanted to clear that up to ones who just don't understand that concept -

The OP should find ways to mediate with her own DH and they have to decide together as a team what to do. If he is resistant and she doesn't agree with him, well, she still has some work to do with him and most likely he will come around in time after he sees personally the joy his family is getting out of what they are wanting.

 

[hikerchick]

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What about the fact that it would bring joy to someone you supposedly love? Or do you not care about how your partner feels? I don't get that kind of selfishness, sorry. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing someone you love happy, even if it means they are doing something that is not about you.

So I am allowed to be unhappy as long as he's happy? Isn't that selfish of him to want something that would make me unhappy? Or does the selfishness only go one way?

No- he should understand that you are entitled to the same freedoms. I get joy out seeing those I love happy. It seems most married people only worry about their own happiness. I guess I don't understand how a person having chickens or sheep can make another person unhappy, especially when they see the joy it brings.

I love my animals, they bring me joy. I am dating a man who says that he would never live with me as long as I have these animals. Obviously, my joy means nothing to him. If seeing my happiness does not mitigate, oh, I don't know, nannie berries on the deck, then he does not truly love me.