@gtaus, you have an embarrassment of (black gold) riches!
I'm with you on leaves not leaving. We have several acres of woods, and the soil there is amazing! I have so many uses for leaves here that they don't go to waste. Mulch for blueberries (oak is great for that), mulch in the big flat squash bed, and of course, in the chicken run.
We had a neighbor a few years ago who was from Detroit, and this was his "get away place." He asked where to "put the leaves when he raked them up." (I didn't have chickens or blueberries back then.) I said I just dumped them in the woods or the field. That seemed like work to him... Didn't "they come and pick them up?" Uh... no. And we're on our own for plowing the road the quarter mile out to the mail box. Unless you want to pay someone $75 for each time they come way out here. And you better have 4 wheel drive too.
Eventually, he believed me about all that.
We called them "The Loudens" because even if she was just in the yard and he was on the porch, they felt they had to yell to be heard. "YA WANT A BEER?" We all heard it too.
They forgot to close the basement door when they left in the winter one time. Burned their propane tank dry. Frozen and burst pipes, water damage, big huge mess. He laughed about the mishap.
When the economy tanked in 2008, he lost a TON of money in the stock market, and lost the house to foreclosure.
We didn't miss them when they left.