What do you do when a freind of 20 yrs dumps you for a new one?

[lizareny]

To sum it up...My friend and I have known each other for 23 years. 2 years ago, she met a new friend, no biggie, we both have other friends. But! She has fallen off the radar 100%, I tried for 4-5 months to call, stop by, etc. as usual. We've always seen each other 3x a month, talked on average 2x a week, got our nails done, had family dinners, went shopping together. Now, she is always gone, never available, never home (ALWAYS out with her 'new' friend....everyday!) and won't answer her phone.
Yes, I was truly dumped, it seems.
We're going on a year, and I haven't seen or talked to her...it's always the 'new' friend now....all the things we used to do, she does with the 'new' friend.
I hear it through the family grapevine, hehee.

I am not hung up on it, but I wander in between missing her, being too proud to TRY 'one more time' getting in touch, being mad, being sad......
Question is...if she comes back around in the future, should I take her back? Or her having cut the cord, keep it cut? I can't decide which is the more healthy choice for me.

It's an emotional/mental pickle.

 

[jerseygirl1]

That's really too bad, what a shallow thing to do - wish I could help, but I honestly would myself question if she really truly WAS a friend after all those years................

 

[Melissa034]

I would physicaly keep trying but for now emotionally disconnect. And if she does "come around" diffinately be the bigger person and show what a real friend is.

 

[EweSheep]

Sometimes longtime friends would move on, and I would move on as well. Let her contact you and you can emotional decide where you should go from there if you two wants to go out for a burger. If she started to whine or carrying on why you have not contact her, let her know up front.

 

[SillyChicken]

Had a friend like that..... after I stopped trying... I never heard from her again. I'd say cut your losses, remember the good times, and move on. If she comes back, just keep everything on your terms.

 

[WriterofWords]

I had a friend so close we called each other sister from the time we were 11 until our 30's. She did something I had a hard time dealing with but tried, then her new hubby told her a few lies, she believed them, we haven't spoken in 10 years. After I got done wondering why,, I realized that she wasn't the friend I thought she was, we grew apart, the friendship we had when we were younger was great but we grew out of it. Move on, keep the years you were close in your heart and grow from there.

 

[Bec]

Yup! Been there too! Just let her go, if you have to try that hard just to get a hold of her, it is best to let her go! My friend always comes around when her new friends don't understand or when they ditch her. But its not that often that I see or talk to her and when I do, there is barely anything to talk about now. Too much time has gone by. Just let her go and move on, kind of like a real break up..LOL!

 

[chicnfarmer]

You know what I do? I treat people like they're telephones. If I meet somebody who I don't think likes me I just say to myself 'Bob, this one's out of order. Just hang up and try again'.

 

[geebs]

Reinvent yourself w/o that friend.... It is hard... I am so sorry... I will be your friend!!!

 

[geebs]

And a piece of advice.... A drought makes a want for rain..... Be the drought... Your friend WILL eventually notice your absence.... 20 years doesn't go by unnoticed.... Let the drought commence.

(that will give you a sense of control at least)