I have thought a lot about this one, and it sort of strikes close to home, although my grandkids, one of whom we adopted, know who their dad is . . .and he is paying child support on two of them, he has 8 altogether and five of them are old enough not to get it anymore, but only after public aid took him to court . . . I think you may have wanted to contact his dad before you took him, and would have been able to give him a head's up after you had seen BF's reaction. A negative reaction to your son has to hurt, even if it came a week late. . .the fact that he is into drugs, probably wasn't too good of a thing to throw at your son either, if he has a tendancy to lean that way also . . .same with my 8 years old dad . . .the child support issue is entirely your call, I am surprised your public aid office didn't go after him if you had food stamps or a medical card, as here in Illinois they eventually do. My 8 year old doesn't have any desire to go see his dad like his older sister does; because his dad is ignorant and says mean things to him when he doesn't "man up", and invariably something bad happens if he does go . . .so I just sort of quietly encourage him to stay with us, and we do something fun or work around the little farm we have. . .that is fun to me, and I think he is beginning to see that too, so that makes me very happy . . .anyway, don't beat yourself up over it, you tried and no one can say they failed if they tried . . .talk and talk and talk some more to your son, sometimes its hard to grow up and face the harsh reality of life, but its also a good lesson for your son on how NOT to grow up, so you have done more good that you realize right now . . .Good Luck and God Bless!! There is never really a wrong or right answer in these kinds of situations. . .sometimes you just have to fly by the seat of your pants; expect the worst, and be surprised by the best!!!
And ya know what else?..i WOULD make the jerk pay back child support! And no, its not about the money..its about making him( the jerk) RESPONSIBLE for the life he created and then just walked away from. Why dont you make him pay? i MOST certanily would! Take the money and set up a trust fund for your son..help him buy his first house when he grows up and wants to have a family of his own ...Take the money..you and your son deserve it. AND he (the jerk) needs to pay the price for all those years when YOU had to struggle! **hugs**
