What do you prefer - Taken or livin' the single life?

[Beekissed]

Bottom line: I'd rather be alone than be married to the wrong man.
Life is too short to be miserable. Besides, "being happy" is an inside job. We are all about as happy as we decide to be, regardless of our circumstances.

Truer words were never spoken.....er..typed!

My marriage and subsequent relationships were not ideal...I'm a bum magnet also. But, I'm a nurturer and those are the kind who attract needy misfits. As a nurturer, I am happy caring for others and this has it's benefits.

BUT....I am a nurse, so I get to get all that out of my system with people who REALLY need help. I have been single so long now that it would be very difficult to give up the:

Remote control

Sprawling in the bed....and NOT smelling anyone's farts but my own!

Fixing food when I'M hungry and not until.

Cleaning when and if I feel like it.....
And things staying clean when I do clean.

Freedom of coming and going when and if I feel like it (there is nothing more annoying to us single gals than asking a married gal to do lunch, a movie, shopping, a road trip, etc. and hearing "Weeeeelllll, I would have to ask ( ) about it first."

I didn't even do that when I WAS married!

Not hearing how HIS illness is just sooo much more painful or distressing than anything I could ever have experienced...even childbirth.

Not having to hope that someone will SEE things need to be done around the house, about the budget, about the car.......I just DO it ~without having the false hope and expectation that someone else is using brain cells in this marriage.

Getting (here's one you all will love!) to have any chicken, sheep, dog, cat, etc. that I may want without hearing any...oh, lovely to my ears is the golden silence...ANY dispute, questioning, even a raised eyebrow......heavenly!!!

Not having to argue about money, love, sex, chores, time.....heck, not having to argue about anything!

Blessed, contented, peaceful existence with a big Chessy grin on my face every time a woman complains about her husband...which is about every 3 seconds, from my watch. Which means I pretty much smile most of the time!

 

[Crystalchic]

But, of course! What other way IS there??
one of my x husbands was like
its my way or the high way
and the other was just a complete control freak

 

[goobhen]

I was married for almost 11 years, well that was a living hell....Then I spent the next 19 years as a single mother. I was a man hater for the first 6 yrs after my divorce. I had to learn to enjoy my singlehood. I learned to love it! I remarried almost 4 yrs ago to my best friend/soul mate. I do not ask him if I can do anything, or if I can buy this or that. I talk to him about going out with friends or that I am buying something. He does the same with me. He doesn't control me and I don't control him. I think if you are in a relationship that has mutual respect and love you have the best. I would not be in a relationship that made me long for my single days! I would rather be alone & single than miserable and married!

**I wonder why my wonderful DH tells me I cannot have dwarf goats?? Hmmmmmmm, methinks I may just go out and buy the two I want????

after all HE was the one who told me I don't need to ask to spend my own money!!!

 

[BarkerChickens]

I wouldn't trade in my DH for nothing, so I'm definitely voting taken!

 

[halo]

Quote:
Truer words were never spoken.....er..typed!

My marriage and subsequent relationships were not ideal...I'm a bum magnet also. But, I'm a nurturer and those are the kind who attract needy misfits. As a nurturer, I am happy caring for others and this has it's benefits.

BUT....I am a nurse, so I get to get all that out of my system with people who REALLY need help. I have been single so long now that it would be very difficult to give up the:

Remote control

Sprawling in the bed....and NOT smelling anyone's farts but my own!

Fixing food when I'M hungry and not until.

Cleaning when and if I feel like it.....
And things staying clean when I do clean.

Freedom of coming and going when and if I feel like it (there is nothing more annoying to us single gals than asking a married gal to do lunch, a movie, shopping, a road trip, etc. and hearing "Weeeeelllll, I would have to ask ( ) about it first."

I didn't even do that when I WAS married!

Not hearing how HIS illness is just sooo much more painful or distressing than anything I could ever have experienced...even childbirth.

Not having to hope that someone will SEE things need to be done around the house, about the budget, about the car.......I just DO it ~without having the false hope and expectation that someone else is using brain cells in this marriage.

Getting (here's one you all will love!) to have any chicken, sheep, dog, cat, etc. that I may want without hearing any...oh, lovely to my ears is the golden silence...ANY dispute, questioning, even a raised eyebrow......heavenly!!!

Not having to argue about money, love, sex, chores, time.....heck, not having to argue about anything!

Blessed, contented, peaceful existence with a big Chessy grin on my face every time a woman complains about her husband...which is about every 3 seconds, from my watch. Which means I pretty much smile most of the time!

Bwahahahah!!!! What she said!

 

[Rillion]

Quote:
My mom, brother and I went on a trip to Vegas last summer. She was going to invite one of her good friends along, too, but then told us she couldn't come.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Well, her husband won't let her."
"What do you mean, 'won't let'? Is he going to sell all of her luggage and lock her in the basement?"
"No....he just....won't let go. He will guilt trip and nag her about it and generally make her regret having gone for a very long time."

Now, money wasn't the issue-- they have plenty of it. The husband just didn't want his wife going off on a trip without him, and he had no interest in going to Vegas, so he didn't want her to either. Yuck. Now, my dad doesn't like travel much either, but he "lets" my mom go off gallivanting wherever she wants. She just does it with my brother and/or myself, or some of her friends. For her, retirement means travel and she wants to do a lot of it. For Dad, retirement means playing lots of golf. At home. And they still manage to spend plenty of time together, so it works perfectly for them.

I want my relationship to be like that.

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
I guess my question is, why would I want to do that? Why put up with someone's flaws? I dont' get what the payoff is. If I want to be loved, all I need is a dog. I can provide my own food and shelter. What is the benefit of having someone in your life when it is such hard work?

 

[vtsarahb]

taken. I can't imagine my life without him.

 

[aussieheelr]

Taken and love it... most of the time.
The best part is being a part of something bigger than me. I grew up in a small family, his is HUGE. I was a city girl, he's a country boy.
We love, argue and laugh fiercely!
We live passionatly and my dog can't cover all of that on his own. Sure he's a great listener and gives me more kisses than I want but he can't tell me when I'm being a stuborn selfish girl... my DH can. Someone has to tell me when enough is enough sometimes and he's there to help me with that... 90% of the time he's right too. My favorite is... "ok you keep getting more chickens I'll have to build you another coop! You're about to out number the one I just finished."
I had to point out what he just offered to do and if he wanted to take it back or not... he took it back.

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
I can hire a carpenter or build it myself. I have dear friends who tell me when I am being a butthead. And I don't have to do all that WORK that married people always talk about. I don't have to adjust to someone else's flaws or try to change mine. I still don't get what the payoff is. I guess you have to live it to understand what makes it worth all the sacrifice.