What do you prefer - Taken or livin' the single life?

[redhen]

Quote:
When you meet the right person you'll just know. You'll feel comfortable and content with the person..
Anyone that dosent accept you 100% for who you are AND what you want, is NOT the person for you.
I see SO many people in relationships, and they are not really happy in them..theres always a problem..
How many times have you seen on here "My husband wont let me get anymore chickens. How can i trick him?" or "I have to hide my incubator from my husband" Etc..you get what i mean..
If he's the right person for you, you dont have those petty problems..you wont ever feel un-happy..you'll just live together and be happy..
Of course, NO relationship is perfect... some days he will get on your nerves....( i.e. Forgot to take out the garbage again....etc...) But those are small normal things...
Its when you feel like you have to change yourself or give up things you enjoy, thats a BIG problem! (i.e. having things you enjoy being denied to you..*chickens/animals..etc..*.... time with family and friends...always having to submit to your husbands wishes to keep him happy..

.. Having to ask your husbands permission for things..*shivers*.. etc..) and i see SO many women do it! Never, ever change who you are for someone else! I cannot stress this enough!!.. If you do, you'll come to regret it someday in small ways..
You'll start to be unhappy, not satisfied with your life...you'll start to resent your husband because its always his way...etc...
There should ALWAYS be mutual respect given...
Also, some women seem to have low self-esteem (or something) and so they feel they wont find anything better..and so they just settle for these crummy, controlling men. Dont be one of these women, please. Always remember that you CAN be happy by yourself....its better than being someones servant for life...its better than loosing who you are just to please someone else.. its better than loosing your dignity!
I'd never live that way...and i feel sad for and angry with women that allow themselves to live like that. But alas, its not my problem, its theirs to deal with everyday of their lives..I just cant help feeling bad about it when i see it though. Just my opinion on the subject..

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
Ok I didn't realize that asking people what they get out of something was considered slamming them.

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
Do your friends complain a lot? Do they show up late when you're going out? Do they make stupid jokes? Are they anything other than perfect? You don't have to live with a person to have to put up with their flaws if you want to be around them. Friends have flaws. Being friends with people is work. As far as I'm concerned, there's no real difference. A spouse is just a good friend that you live with. In exchange for putting up with their nonsense, they put up with yours. That's what you get out of it. If you don't want that, fine....but it's not like it's a mystery why other people would.

There is a HUGE difference. My friends go home. I don't have to consider the effects on them of every action I take. They can't complain about my chickens, ask what I am making for dinner, or question my housekeeping decisions.

 

[PortageGirl]

Single and fine with it. If a secure man came along who was with me because he loved and valued me instead of loved having someone to cook, clean, do laundry for, and look after like a boy and called it ‘being a man’, I’d be thrilled. A good relationship has to be a two way street, not a dead end.

I love when my friends are happy whether they are married or single, I have nothing against marriage (or committed relationships) or men or love. LOL, I LOVE love, ROFL and I love men too, as long as they're grown! As long as it doesn't turn into being used for either... heh, to a degree, it always becomes a little dependence for each, nothing wrong with that long as it's just a little.

Here’s what explains it all for me…

Comes The Dawn
Author: Either Veronica A. Shoffstall or Judith B. Evans

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

 

[joebryant]

I had a wonderful bachelorhood until I was 26. Been happily married to Anne for 44 years...
What was the question?

 

[PortageGirl]

Quote:
I don't know, but I think you have the answer!!!

 

[warmfuzzies]

Quote:
Congratulations! That is a long time, good job!!

Rillion wrote:
In order to prevent this thread from being closed/deleted, let's stick to the topic at hand. It's possible to say whether you like X or Y without slamming people who prefer the other.

Hickerchick wrote:
Ok I didn't realize that asking people what they get out of something was considered slamming them.

Maybe they weren't just talking to you....​

 

[warmfuzzies]

Quote:
Do your friends complain a lot? Do they show up late when you're going out? Do they make stupid jokes? Are they anything other than perfect? You don't have to live with a person to have to put up with their flaws if you want to be around them. Friends have flaws. Being friends with people is work. As far as I'm concerned, there's no real difference. A spouse is just a good friend that you live with. In exchange for putting up with their nonsense, they put up with yours. That's what you get out of it. If you don't want that, fine....but it's not like it's a mystery why other people would.

There is a HUGE difference. My friends go home. I don't have to consider the effects on them of every action I take. They can't complain about my chickens, ask what I am making for dinner, or question my housekeeping decisions.

it sounds like you have had some bad experiences. But dont assume that all husbands do these things, because mine has never done that. He always appreciates the things I do around here, even when it looks like nothing has happened all day. We make decisions together, about the animals, the kids, and pretty much everything else.

Yes, I am very lucky!

But he is too..... and we both know it and appreciate it, which I think is the key to a happy relationship. Appreciation and respect.

Edited because my 't' key doesnt work very well.

 

[joebryant]

Quote:
Congratulations! That is a long time, good job!!

Rillion wrote:
In order to prevent this thread from being closed/deleted, let's stick to the topic at hand. It's possible to say whether you like X or Y without slamming people who prefer the other.

Hickerchick wrote:
Ok I didn't realize that asking people what they get out of something was considered slamming them.

Maybe they weren't just talking to you....​

Thanks, it's been rough at times, e.g., she slapped me once, and she's raised her voice to me (can't imagine why), but whatever, I'm such a saint that...​

 

[warmfuzzies]

I know you're such angel aren't you!