What does your answer machine say?

[mulewagon]

I once heard a great one: "We're home, we're armed, we're just not answering the phone! Leave a message."

 

[debilorrah]

Ours says "Thank you for calling Northern Winds Ranch. We are away from the phone at the moment and will return your call as soon as possible" BEEEP

 

[urban escapee]

Dont have an answering machine and to lazy to change the one on my cell phone. But I love my daughters " Hey this is Hannah, sing your song at the beep"

 

[mikki717]

Currently I have a normal/generic message. When my kids were little, I was much more creative:

During Girl Scout Cookie season-

Once upun a Midnight dreary
while I pondered weak and weary
Over all these cookie orders
Cookies, cookies, more and more!

On the air there came a ringing
on the small phone just a dinging
Ringing on the phone before

Leave a message if you would please
Name and number, time of day
Steve or I will call you back
When all these cookies have gone away!

 

[OldGuy43]

Thank you for calling. Your call is important to us. For English, press one. If you do not speak English please hang up and call back when you do. BEEP!

 

[sheaviance1]

Ours used to say, You know who you've reached. Leave a message and we'll call you back.

Then, I did this one, and yes, we do deal with mental health issues in our family. Sometimes it helps to laugh at yourself!

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer anyway.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. But, please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down and hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

 

[deerman]

my son had my old one set.......hello, hello. anybody there...........well nobody here so leave a message...got so many people .

 

[Jamie_Dog_Trainer]

Oh my word some of these are so long I would never wait for the end to leave a message.

 

[cameron]

Mine is in Russian and lasts about 4 minutes. Someone really has to want to leave me a message to sit thru it.

 

[DuckLover2399]

Quote:

that is hilarious I want to find your number and call you just to hear it!