What would you do in this situation?

[Chickerdoodle13]

Thanks mom's folly (and everyone else!)

I'm usually very good at talking to people, but when it comes to stuff like this I have such a difficult time! I already barely acknowledge him, even when he says hello. I've got to learn to just say "NO"!

 

[debilorrah]

Most stalking starts off with innocent yet creepy guys coming on to someone who is totally not interested. Be very blunt and rude if necessary. If he keeps it up, report it to campus police. I am not kidding.

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
Ahhhhhhhhhhh when young love is in the air. I remember this younger gal in my senior chemestry class. Young, sassy, beautiful and loved chickens... but I digress...

The only type of hint you can give him is to be VERY blunt. Confront and be blunt. Have friends and witnesses just in case he's a true nut job and not just entranced with the most wonderful 21 year old lady in Jersey.

Boyd you crack me up!

Of course hindsight is 20/20, but I should have told him I wasn't interested in a relationship/him on friday when he gave me the v-day chocolates. I was so shocked I couldn't say much of anything! LOL

I don't think he's dangerous, he's just creepy. Luckily he's transferring next semester so I won't have to worry about him. Just gotta get through this semester!

LOL!!!!

It's probably simple puppy love/crush but I agree with Debs, it could be more serious. Only way to do anything tho is to confront it head on and be blunt. He may have mistaken your slack mouthed expression friday for excited delight (guys are dense, ask my wife ok?) and totally have the wrong idea. If you are more of the quiet shy type I'm willing to bet it's more of a misunderstanding. I mean, I never understood how a gal could turn down a date from me, but it happened once in every 4 or 5 years or so...

 

[redhen]

Honestly..i wouldnt make a big deal out of it.. just be polite and if he asks you out... just say that you are interested in someone else..or just say you are only interested in him as a friend. As for the poking... ignore it.. but if he keeps doing it and it REALLY bothers you. then tell him to stop, that hes annoying you. Just be honest...
then if he dosent stop...take it to someone higher up....

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Thanks everyone.

Sometimes I want to be blunt and outright with him, but I also don't want to make a big deal. Right now he's only annoying, but if it increases to more than that I will be blunt about things. For example, the other morning I intentionally got to class early to study and he kept staring at my notebook and reading what I had written. He was completely in my space, and continued to do it even when I moved away. I can't stand when people hover like that! He then went on and on and on about how I should have taken this other professor because they are so much better than the one I have. I just wanted to smack him! He'll also brag about how smart he is and how he is in all these programs, but I know he is lying about a lot of those things. He also talks about himself like he is a musical genius and that bugs the heck out of me. Before valentine's day he was complaining about how he doesn't have a valentine and I just sort of shrugged at him and asked why that was such a big deal. He has asked me to study with him, but I told him that I prefer to study alone. Every once in awhile he will make a strange joke or sexual reference and one time I did get angry at him for this. He hasn't done it since, thank goodness.

He's mostly just very awkward in social situations and he thinks he has has to have a girlfriend to be accepted, or something like that. Sometimes I feel bad for him, but not bad enough to be his friend. I think he's really just looking for attention, but he comes off as a creepy guy. I'm not really worried about him taking it too far, but it is a small concern in the back of my mind. I am pretty good at taking care of myself if I need to (That punching story was great, BTW!) He doesn't know where I live on campus or anything like that. He did get my phone number freshmen year when we were all new and looking for friends, but surprisingly he will only text every once in awhile and its never anything creepy. I just don't reply to him. I have him blocked everywhere else, like facebook, etc.

Thanks for all the good advice though, and keep it coming. I'm just hoping the end of the semester comes quickly, he transfers, and I never have to see him again!

 

[fordmommy]

I think that in this situation....being blunt IS the answer. Next time he does something in the class, very loudly state to him something like....."Dude! I told you before I am NOT interested. And I'd appreciate you leaving me ALONE!" But make sure the whole class hears you. That's the key. He will be imbaressed. That's okay. You're imbaressed too. You letting everyone know.....they will watch to make sure that he is in his place.



P.s. He might be doing that to others girls too. Stand your ground. I have been there. And the guy that did that to me in HS, (started just like this in HS) is now in prison for raping girls and children. He got out a few years back and did it again. He'll be in prison forever.

 

[redhen]

People that are socially akward like that usually dont understand subtle hints like the rest of us... (thats why they have social problems..)
usually you have to be pretty clear with your intentions with them...
"look bill..youre a nice guy and all...but i really am not interested in you. I'm sorry. "
they are also the type of people that you cant "just be friends with" because it keeps them confused...

 

[tonini3059]

I agree be blunt about it, some guys just don't get it they think it is tough love and they have to win you. Also make sure your family and friends know about this guy on the off chance something should happen. Believe me you can never be to careful, I have had my share of creepy stalkers.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I disagree with those who have told you to be polite. Polite hasn't worked with this guy. These kind of guys think that nice equals interested. Blunt to the point of rudeness would be the approach I'd take. I'd also say that your spidey sense is working with this guy. If he creeps you out, there is probably good reason for it. He comes to look at your work again, a "get out of my space" is what is called for; then ignore him, or repeat as needed. He isn't going to respond to anything else. Just don't engage him in any conversation. Shut him down, then ignore him.

I still think mentioning to the lab proctor and the professor are wise choices. This guy is affecting your learning environment. You are paying good money to go to college, you should be able to study without him bugging you.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

If this continues, you need to report him to someone in authority at your school. The professor in the class and the lab professor should be able to help you. Your university has a harassment policy. This boy is in violation of that harassment policy. Once you tell your professor they are obligated to work it up the ladder for you (and with you). These policies are in place to help you. Please take advantage of the help available.

The next time the boy is being annoying/obnoxious/ aggravating/etc. tell him that you have politely asked him to leave you alone multiple times. Inform him that if he continues that he will be in violation of the sexual harassment policy on campus and that you will report him. Then follow through. Most likely he will be sent to some sort of counseling. If he persists it is possible he would be thrown out of school. Limited social skills or no, he should know enough to leave you alone when you have made it plain that his attentions are not wanted.

(Trust me that this qualifies as harassment. We have to go through harassment training every year. This guy is contributing to a hostile learning environment after being told repeatedly to stop. If the faculty member in charge of you doesn't do anything, take it up the ladder to the department chair and then the dean. There IS a protocol in place at your university and by law it must be followed.)

Good luck.