What's UR Fav Poem, Saying, Quote, Riddle, Joke, Limerick, Song, ETC

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Quote:
Yeah , I think her most famous line was--Watch it Sucka!!


I guess because I'm getting older - I'm getting nostalgic -- I think about a lot of these old shows when I need a laugh-- I love the Beverly Hillbillies too! Especially since Granny talked a lot like People I really grew up around.. ..
 
I am 23 and I think about shows from the 60s - early 90s and I wonder where all the classics have gone. Everything thats on now sucks. Reality shows, the new cartoons that are just stupid. Give me the smurfs or care bears. I remember when three's company was on ABC and not on nick@nite. All in the family used to be on fox 5. The flinstones and jetsons was on WB 11
 
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Never Take The Wife

A driver and his wife is stopped by a police officer.

Driver: "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 70 miles an hour in a 50 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 50."

Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket because you have a rear light out."

Man: "Rear light? I didn't realise it was out!"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for not wearing your seatbelt."

Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."

The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

Officer: "Madam, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"

Wife: "No, only when he's drunk."
 
Quote:
Laurel and Hardy - The Flintstones- Little Rascals--All these were even before my time lol , but they were on tv a lot when I was young -- I really enjoyed those. Oh and of course I forgot --The three Stooges. Wayne
 
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I took out the end of this joke since this is a family friendly board. anyway its all true and creepy.

"Strange But True"

Here's a little part of US history which makes you go hmmmmm.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Both Presidents were shot by southerners.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters.

Lincoln was shot at the theatre named "Kennedy".
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln".

Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Both successors were named Johnson.
Both successors were southerners.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
 
"Jail Break"

there are 3 women who escape form a jail. a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They see 3 potato sacks on the edge of the road, and each jumps in one to hide from the police. 2 officers see the sacks "lets check these sacks" the first one says. he kicks the redhead's sack, "Meow!" she says "nothing but a cat in this one then he kicks the brunette's, "Woof!" she says, "Nothing but a dog in this one! he kick's the blonde's sack "Po-ta-to!
 

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