Where I've Been For The Last Month

[Mattemma]

I had to scan to the end of your first post to see if you gave him the boot.So glad you did. Interesting how people visit and just never leave.Hope you are healing well.Now back to the start to read everything.

Ok I read the thread and was wondering:

Did you suggest to him some counseling? He needs it and it might be free for him. And wowo on the 5k income.We could live well on that!

Where did you get(and cost) of the sanctuary buddha?

Why did he bring 2 guns with him?That would really scare me!

I recall the following threads,and was wondering if I missed any. Yea, a blog or book of your experiences would be good reading.I would write up some articles and submit them places for a little income.

1.Gay neighbors
2.Karaoke jealous wives
3.Overly concerned relative
4. Overly concerned garbage man

Again speedy healing!

 

[swift4me]

Sorry for this.... amidst the hugfest, but it really took you a month to get sick of all that? 30 days? Bathrobe, chainsmoking, not shoveling snow, eating your food, lying..... he must have been very skilled in something else?

Glad for you he's out of your life.

Pete

 

[HHandbasket]

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The scary part is... he left her! So how bad is she that she drove HIM crazy!?!?

And thank you, I'm on the road to healing as we speak. I just need to take it easy for a while.

Maybe he left her because he couldn't stand constantly being told to get up off his a$$ and do something besides watch TV, eat, and smoke all day. He didn't wanna hear it anymore so he left. Could be, maybe? Who knows... and more over, I'm sure you don't even care. Not your concern anymore.

I hope you feel better soon too. Big hugs.

 

[mississippifarmboy]

Laurajean, I just wanna know when the books coming out.

I wanna order a signed copy!

 

[Laurajean]

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Royd: "One" gets a lacerated esophagus when one ends up coughing or vomiting so violently that esophagus becomes irritated and eventually becomes lacerated and/or ruptured. In my case it was from ignoring a bad case of Bronchitis for several months to the point where my coughing ending up in vomiting hard from the constant hard gagging. If you would like to look up more details on this, google "Esophageal Laceration" or "Boerhaave Syndrome".

And in answer to what will surely be your next question, I (foolishly) neglected the Bronchitis for so long because I do not have health insurance and thought sure it would have to eventually clear up on it's own. I did not realize it could end up damaging my throat that way. I have almost no voice right now, I talk like Demi Moore. And to be clear, I had the Bronchitis before he even got here, I am not blaming him for that.

In answer to your second question, no I do not smoke. I actually had a whole paragraph about the smoking in my OP but I must have deleted it when I tried to go back and "shorten" it. The first couple of days he was here I let him smoke in the kitchen with the window cracked. Then when I realized he smokes constantly, I told him I was losing too much heat out the window and that he would have to smoke outside. So every few minutes he would get up, still in his bathrobe, put on winter boots and a hat and go pout on the porch each time he smoked a cigarette as if I was torturing him. Then he even tried keeping the big winter boots on inside, so he wouldn't have to keep changing from his slippers for a cigarette, but I told him he was tracking snow all over the house, so he had to go back to changing into boots for each smoke.

Not sure what you mean about allowing him to 'trash my house'..... if you are referring to the things he broke, it's not like I could see it coming. He accidentally broke the sugar bowl playing around with it like a kid trying to spin it on his finger, I didn't know he broke the bathroom faucet until after he came out of the bathroom and said he was trying to "fix it" and I didn't know about the statue or the shovel until after the fact either. He didn't sit around abusing stuff deliberately, they were just frequent, klutzy accidents.

Oh, and I DEFINITELY didn't buy him cigarettes; he spent his own money on that. I can't afford to waste money that kind of crap. I reuse tin foil and paper towels for God's sake, I would never buy someone cigarettes. I never bought any of his stupid candy either. He wasted his own money on all that crap. The stuff I paid for was regular food, drinking water, toilet paper, household supplies, utility bills, etc., all of which doubled in use from him being here. He ate food like it was going out of style. But like I said, that was my stupidity. I assumed since he makes over 5k a month he would pay me back. Once I realized I wasn't getting paid back, and was only going to get in deeper, I asked him to leave.

 

[Laurajean]

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Well, I think I called myself a stupid idiot plenty of times in my OP and said I can't defend it and don't. I should have put an end to it sooner. But he only gets a small weekly check, and his large pension comes monthly, so after a few weeks had passed, I was waiting for his pension check thinking he would be paying me back. Also, I was very ill for a few weeks, so I didn't feel strong enough to have a big confrontation. I was waiting until I was strong enough to do it. I should have been in the hospital with the Pancreatitis, it's not something to be messed with. I was in bed drinking only little sips of water, couldn't eat solid foods, etc. So between being very ill and waiting for his pension check, time passed. And then there is the factor of his prior suicide attempts, and yes, that scared me. I was afraid of how he might react when I told him to leave. Haven't seen him in over 20 years, didn't know what he might do. But like I say, I was an idiot to let him stay at all. I should have thrown him out the first week. Hindsight is always 20/20.

And as far as being 'skilled in something else', no it wasn't that kind of thing at all. Not at all. I was sick and in bed most of the time anyway, and he was hardly attracting me.

Oh, and he did shovel the snow. I just had to harass him to get him to do it.

 

[Laurajean]

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He's in counseling with the VA

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Tell me about it!!

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That particular Buddha statue I got in the early 90's in Brooklyn, NY. It was around $50. It's not the money, it's just that when I bought my house here in the woods I was so proud and happy and it was the first thing I unpacked and announced this new home was my "sanctuary". I'm just sentimental about it.

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I didn't know he was planning to bring 2 guns. Some of you who have followed my threads know how I feel about guns. I was NOT happy. He said he brought them from his father's, where he was staying, because his younger brother is a thief and he didn't trust them there. I made it clear they would remain UNLOADED at all times and be put in the closet until he left. Once he even asked if he saw a predator at my coop would it be okay if he shot it, and I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. I DO NOT WANT YOUR GUNS EVER LOADED WHILE HERE: PERIOD. It made me nervous too. Don't know if you noticed in my OP, but the morning I asked him to leave, I first snuck into the closet and stole all his ammo and threw it away. I didn't know what he might try, I wasn't going to risk it. Incidentally, he never did ask about his ammo. I don't know if he hasn't noticed it's missing, or if he didn't dare ask me about it.

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There was the "Guns & Ammo at the Bank" thread, and some others, I can't recall them all now and most got removed. I still have a copy of the original karaoke thread on my computer. I keep thinking I should compile these somehow.

Thanks for the well wishes.

 

[KimberlyJ]

LauraJean I'm glad you're back too. Although I was just getting to "know" you when you checked out for a bit....

I have to tell you, you're life sounds so much like mine when I was younger....our stories are so similar..... you could be my younger sister. For me it wasn't the trash man, but the oil man. And I didn't throw the guy out after a month I married him. Seriously. I have no idea why I did what I did, I'm otherwise smart, educated, strong, confident, independant and funny. But.....

I look at it this way. If that was my biggest mistake in my life, I'm glad it's behind me!!! Not many people can say that. I have a quote somewhere about not beating yourself up over "mistakes", if you can write a check and fix it, then it's just a living expense. Sometimes life is expensive. I know, you just can't afford that kind of stuff right now, but it will be ok. Have a little faith in yourself!

Get better soon and good luck!

 

[Royd]

Not sure what you mean about allowing him to 'trash my house'

Since you obviously, don't smoke, then, you must know the damage that cigarette smoke does, to everything it comes in contact with...I have some friends who smoke, and after even ten minutes, in their house, I'm changing clothes and jumping in the shower, to wash the stink off of me.​

 

[Laurajean]

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Since you obviously, don't smoke, then, you must know the damage that cigarette smoke does, to everything it comes in contact with...I have some friends who smoke, and after even ten minutes, in their house, I'm changing clothes and jumping in the shower, to wash the stink off of me.

Oh, right. Well the first two days that I let him smoke in the window with it cracked, I thought he would only be here for a few days, so I was trying to be understanding with it cold outside and all, and he was blowing it out the cracked window. But yeah, once I realized he smokes A LOT, I quickly booted him outside to smoke. If I go somewhere where there are smokers, I can't stand the smell in my hair when I return home. I too have to jump in the shower and wash it off.