Where I've Been For The Last Month

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Thanks crtrlovr, glad to be back. Definitely a rough month, getting a slightly late start on the whole new year concept, but I definitely learned some good lessons.

hugs back atcha.

 

[dacjohns]

I've been reading this and refraining from posting but now it is time. Some of you out there are coming across as a bit judgemental of Laura.

Instead of judging try to understand.

Laura, I think you did the best you could under the circumstances. It sounds to me like you were not only concerned for his welfare but also for your welfare. Being sick did not help matters at all yet you kept hoping for the best. I can't really fault you for anything considering what you have told us here.

I'm glad you're on the mend and also that you gave this potential relationship a chance. Now that you know it isn't going to work it is time to move on.

 

[Rammy]

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Oh, no!! If she burned the bathrobe, he probably wouldnt have anything on at all!! That would be even worse!!! hehehe


Rammy

 

[Laurajean]

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Thanks Dave, I appreciate the support. Actually, I've gotten a better overall response then I expected, believe it or not. I understand how some people could wonder how it took me a month to get him out. But he suffers from PTSD and Depression from the war, and I wanted to try and be sensitive to that. It was hard to know how much was related to that and how much was actual laziness. Once he told me he's always been this way (sitting around on the couch long before Iraq), I have to admit I lost some of the sympathy. But I also know he's been suicidal in the past, and so I wanted to be careful in my approach in telling him to leave. My illness was also a huge factor; it's so hard to "be strong" and tell someone to get out when you're in bed and incapacitated yourself. And then, I genuinely thought he would pay me back when he got his pension check, and that I suppose was stupid.

I tried to be as fair and rational as I could, tried to be patient, but the bottom line was that I just couldn't keep sacrificing my health, finances, and emotions trying to "help him out". He just needs a lot of help, and I don't think he's a bad guy, I just think he lives in a way that is not conducive with how I live. But I did let it go on too long, and for that I have learned a valuable lesson. It will take months and months for me to get financially back in order, I have a very limited income. All I can do is learn from this and move on, as you said.

 

[justbugged]

I have theory that the first time you do something it is educational, not matter what the outcome is. The second time you do the same thing that has negative consequences it is debatable, by third time it is just plan stupid. So I think that this episode with this guy is simply educational. There is nothing gained by feeling bad about things. The trick seems to be creative enough to make a different mistake each time. I hope you feel better soon.

I would so read any book you wrote also.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:

Thanks. And I can honestly say I've never done anything like this before, and don't plan to again.

 

[Chickie'sMoma]

6. First loves do not necessarily equal last loves.

are you suuuurrreee this guy wasn't your last 'love' allowed in your house?!

just keep anymore possibilities as friends from now on till you are really sure!

good luck LJ and hope you get well really soon!

 

[Laurajean]

Chickie'sMoma :

6. First loves do not necessarily equal last loves.

are you suuuurrreee this guy wasn't your last 'love' allowed in your house?!

just keep anymore possibilities as friends from now on till you are really sure!

good luck LJ and hope you get well really soon!

Yeah, funny how people have interpreted lesson #6 in various ways. Yep, I will definitely be more careful before inviting company for anything more than an afternoon. Even that I'm not so sure about right now.....

I gotta get a refund on that 'GO AWAY' doormat, it doesn't work at all (especially when I override it like an idiot, that doesn't help. I still think it's defective though)

 

[JustAChickenLittle&More]

Uh...Laura. Just meet them for dinner first, several times. Theres a lot of weirdies out there as we know. Just tell them you have a dog at home and you don't want to confuse it just in case the relationship don't make it.

 

[Laurajean]

JustAChickenLittle&More :

Uh...Laura. Just meet them for dinner first, several times. Theres a lot of weirdies out there as we know. Just tell them you have a dog at home and you don't want to confuse it just in case the relationship don't make it.

Well, in the future I definitely will. I had a boyfriend a few months ago that I dated for several months and he never even came to my house once (I always went to his)! But with this guy, I grew up with him, known him since I was a child and dated him throughout my teenage years. I never realized someone could change SO much in a couple decades apart. I just thought I was having an old friend over for a visit for a few days, I didn't expect it to turn into this mess. The plan wasn't even for us to start dating, it was supposed to be a friendly visit from a childhood friend.​