I had been through a short, one year long bad marriage before DH and I hooked up - we were friends, and he was always a friend during the time I was with my ex husband - never made a move though. I even tried to hook him up with one of my friends.
I should step back to that - marriage for all the WRONG reasons. I grew up in a home with a father with serious health issues (hospitalized/coma/hospice etc), a mother who was an alcoholic, and a brother who turned to drugs. I ran our large horse farm from the time I was 14 until I was 18. I met my ex, and he *told* me wonderful stories - how dedicated he was, how hard he worked, family guy, etc. I wanted desperately to have a family like I didn't grow up with - stable, quiet, normal. He said the right things. Stupid me, I didn't even LOOK to see his past, and even overlooked what he did - the cheating, alcohol, gambling, "adult" computer use, and the sly beatdown of my intelligence and everything. I was a mess, and at the end, a quarter of the person I used to be. My dad (he just wouldn't die, and is still around) finally told me to call his lawyer, and I was going to have a divorce, immediately, after my ex was caught drunk driving, with another woman, in a completely different county from where he "should" be driving to and from work.
DH now was right there the whole time - he helped my ex and I move to our house (I bought), he helped trim trees, he was just a good friend. I never thought he was interested in me. After I kicked the ex out and filed for divorce, he was my sob-sister - I'd call him up and rant about how horrible things were, vent my anger, and he always listened and had good advice. I pretty much chalked him up as a guy that was just a confirmed bachelor - he had his own house, a good job, stable, neat, and just living a very sane, normal life without a woman.
It took a few months until I realized how special, steady, honest, hardworking, and faithful he was - he never made promises, never told stories, he just was. We sat down one day, and decided "We should try dating." I moved in the next week - I didn't want to be away from him more than necessary. We decided a year later, though I was gunshy on marriage, to try for a baby. We got pregnant. When my health went bad, that's when we decided to get married so I could have his insurance.
He's still the steady, honest, hardworking, faithful man I married, and I'm still his crazy, harebrained, messy, forgetful, and spastic woman. I now have the stable, close, normal family I wanted so badly growing up, plus he does the dishes and laundry
I do my best to give him a good life, even if I fly on tangents (the chickens and turkeys and hatching eggs in the bator are my idea), and he give me a wonderful life of support, kindness, tenderness and well...dishes and laundry all done
