Why do most people marry?

[chickened]

Do we actually learn to love or learn what love really is or both? The image I had at marriage of what love was in not the same image I have now.

 

[Beekissed]

Do we actually learn to love or learn what love really is or both? The image I had at marriage of what love was in not the same image I have now.

I think I always knew how to love but didn't have the patience to wait for someone else who knew how to do the same.

 

[wbruder17]

I think that being in a healthy long term relationship takes work, marriage or not.... but if you are with the right person, the workload goes down A LOT.

 

[ChicksterJo]

Do we actually learn to love or learn what love really is or both?  The image I had at marriage of what love was in not the same image I have now.

I think it is a little bit of both. The person who is "right" for you (and there may be more than one, who knows) is the one who will teach you about how to love positively and what good love is really about. And the stuff that is in parenthesis in my previous sentence - even if there are others who may be right for you in other ways, what makes this person the one you want to spend your life with is the fact that you are willing to forgo all those others because of the love that you share with this individual.

 

[zzGypsy]

don't know about most people...
but mostly I marry because I love the other person and can't imagine my life without them.

I say mostly, because that was true the first time, and the third time.

the second time, I married because the attraction between us was good, and he was beautiful, so being loved by him was sweet and repaired a hole in me where I thought I wasn't good enough. and I had lost my faith in "forever" anyway, so I really didn't have anything to lose.

been in love for lots of reasons, but the marrying part is definitely about making a life together.

the first time, I believed in forever... and was disappointed.
this time (third) has restored my belief in forever. keeping this one.
12 years and still

 

[redhen]

I think that being in a healthy long term relationship takes work, marriage or not.... but if you are with the right person, the workload goes down A LOT.

Very true...

 

[redhen]

I think I always knew how to love but didn't have the patience to wait for someone else who knew how to do the same.

But we luv's ya Bee...

 

[redhen]

Do we actually learn to love or learn what love really is or both? The image I had at marriage of what love was in not the same image I have now.

For myself.. What i thought "love" was at 20...is nothing like what i think it is now...
At 20, its lust

, and immature expectations.....
Now its being with my best friend every day ...

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Quote: For me, a bit of both, but a lot of *waiting* to find out what love in the multifaceted form it takes on in relationships was (as opposed to familial love, love of friends, etc). I truly did wonder for much of high school if it was something I personally was even capable of. By college, I was prepared to never find it and find what peace I could with that. X)

 

[Beekissed]

But we luv's ya Bee...

Thanks, Red! I may not be a smart wo-man, Jen-ny, but I know what love is. (Picture me standing on the porch with my high water pants)

Red, you might have hit the nail on the head...now that I'm no longer interested in having a romantic relationship, I find that all my other relationships are just as important and can often fill that void much better than a relationship where sex and responsibility get in the way. The older I get the more I value good friends more than anything else....just plain ol' girl friends/guy friends to talk to, commiserate with, celebrate with.

Love comes in many forms and I take all I can get because it just feels so good!