Why do they cheat?

[ams3651]

it was done to me over a year and half ago, after 10 years together. I just figure if he didnt want me why did I want him? It wasnt the first time but it was the last. I set out to find someone better and I did. I never realized how bad I felt with him till I realized how comfortable I felt with the new guy. The expression - never make someone a priority who makes you an option. Even now I have a new realization, if he chooses to cheat he chooses to not be with me anymore. His choice and I cant change this choices or thoughts. If he doesnt like me thats his problem for not seeing how great I am, not my problem. Buck up, it will get better

I will just add, with some men I just dont think they know relationships take work to succeed. Ive known men who though it should just all fall into place, even my new man we had a few rocks. He was used to women who just gave up, he would constantly say 'well if you want me to go.." Instead of talking about a problem. My ex on the other hand just decided to stay till something better came along, he was a weasel all along and I didnt see it.

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

Let me share something with you....

6 years ago I *thought* I had met the one. We didn't become "serious" for a while, but eventually he proposed. Of course, I said yes. I was in bliss- I was going to get married, start a family, live my life. I was going to do all of those thing, until he cheated on me. But, mind you, not only did he cheat on me, he cheated on me with another man. I was devastated, crushed, and heartbroken, to say the least. My self esteem went through the floor, and I was convinced I was worthless as a fiancée, girlfriend, and would be wife. My dreams of marriage, a family, and the white picket fence American Dream were shattered.

Fast forward a couple of years to today. I realize, now, that if that wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't have met the man I'm with now. Ok, so that's not entirely true- the man I'm with now has been a DF for a long time, and was there for me when my engagement ended. But we would have never been more than friends. I also realize that Wes (the ex) didn't treat me the way a lady should be treated. Chris does. I've never been treated the way I am now. I feel like a princess every day. Did I have trouble letting myself fall in the beginning? Absolutely. (Ask Debi!)

What I'm trying to say is, just because one door seems to slam closed right in your face, doesn't mean another won't open. Give it time, this too shall pass. As hard as it seems to find one, the right man is out there for you. Just remember, whatever you do, don't take this one back- clearly he is not worth it.

Be patient, and remember, you are worth the wait!

 

[cassie]

You are asking the wrong question. It doesn't matter why they cheat. The important thing is if they cheat. And if they do, dump them. Unless of course you want a life of heartache, because that is what you will have if you stay with a cheater. And by the way the behavior is not going to change.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Yeah. That was like trying to pull teeth from a mule.

 

[Arthur]

Strictly ego. Don't waste your time on the other girl or this guy. Yes, there are good guys out there.

 

[twentynine]

Been my observation, that for every MAN that cheats- their is a WOMAN out their cheating too! Stands to reason if they ain't a woman (or other person) envolved, they ain't cheating.

I can't answer the question "Why do they cheat?". Because cheating has never been on the menu, I am perfectly content, with THE ONE and ONLY. Plan on keeping it that way too!

What I can tell you with out a doubt. Be glad, be very glad that you found out now, before you were married, before children are envolved. Obviously he wasn't the right guy, leave it at that and move on with your life.

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

Quote:
Yeah. That was like trying to pull teeth from a mule.

Hey

I listened to you, and have quoted you several times....

"If you don't let yourself fall, you'll never know if he's the one"- Debi Raymond. Some of the wisest words regarding relationship advice

Thanks debit.

 

[Royd]

Quote:
Does she smoke? Next.

 

[Royd]

Quote:
It should have been a red flag, when he kept talking about lace curtains and a white picket fence.

 

[Moochie]

I don't see why girls cheat too. Why can't some people be like pigeons? Don't they stay together for life or something like that?