why dose it hurt so much

[FarmerChick]

You just haven't come to terms with it yet. Until it is settled for you, it will hurt for a while.

Time heals all wounds usually. Give it time. A change as big as this one takes time to adjust.

It is now time for you to handle your life and move forward. It is hard to be kind to yourself when knowing what he is doing and reacting to it etc.

Hang in there. You did what is best for you, now do what you must to move forward and start and create your own happy life!!!!!

 

[citalk2much]

Thank you all I am trying to pull myself together and it sounds so easy sure is not

 

[Mahonri]

It won't be easy for a long time coming.

Hang in there, you've got folks pulling for ya.

You are not alone.

God loves you...

... and we do too.

 

[bargain]

God bless you and the situation you are in....You certainly are dealing with a lot but I know that you have support on BYC....

I'm praying that God surround you with grace, understanding and comfort.

 

[PineappleMama]

Endings are always hard, worse when others don't take it as hard as you do.

Adding alcohol to the mix.. sheesh where to begin.

A person can only take so much. If you were being put 2nd over say, a child's welfare, that'd be different. But to be cast aside for something pathetic as booze is just insulting. Unfortunately very few users realize just how much they hurt the ones they love every time they make that choice.

Only advice I would offer is to remember that HE is the one making the choice, not you. You did your best to make things work. You stuck by him even when you didn't like him much because you hoped he would become the man you knew he could be. It's not your fault that he failed to live up to his best, or that he chose to continuing making bad decisions. He's a grown adult who's responsible for his own actions.

A woman like you deserves a man who is strong enough to be responsible for himself and not need a mother, but a friend and lover. Some day you will find a man who is smart enough to love you for who you are and be thankful for the love and support you give so freely.

P.S. Hope you don't mind a post from a random stranger... family has so much experience dealing with alcoholics that I understand the hurt and have nothing but compassion for anyone that's got to deal with them.

 

[fordmommy]

First....

. Change is hard. No matter what the situation. You always feel like you could of done things different. Living with an alcohalic is difficult. Don't blaim yourself. It will take a while before it doesn't hurt any more.

And as for him moving on....think of it like this.....let that other woman deal with his stupidity for a while.....she'll come to her sences soon enough. You should actually feel sorry for her....a little.

Hang in there. Take your time finding someone else. The right person WILL come along. When you least expect it.

 

[citalk2much]

thank you all

 

[chickflick]

Crystal, I'm so sorry you are going thru this hurt. But, you know it's for the best. Be strong and remember you deserve happiness in your life. This is the first step. You will get thru it.

 

[jacyjones]

I agree with all the posters here. I spent years with someone who drank to excess and expected me to be there when he needed copmpany. I got out and never regretted it but it was hard. You still love him but you can never change him and you will never be happy with him. You need friends right now who will keep you from taking him back. Time is a great healer and you will be very glad you did this in years to come. Good luck!

 

[FarmerChick]

No it sure won't be easy.
Nothing worthwhile in this life is.....

But put the focus on YOU and what YOU want out of life now.
Look toward YOUR future. YOU COUNT! Do for YOU.
It is the best medicine. The past is the past and eventually you will appropriately file it away...now it is still raw.
But if you turn the focus on YOU, then you have a worthwhile and great project to start! Your new happy life!!!