why dose it hurt so much

[citalk2much]

I am working on the house enjoying some christmas music with my son trying hard not to call him to let him know just how much I hate him right now

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Thats the hard part..letting go. Hes happy somewhere, and your hurting inside. It just dosent seem fair! But, try to remember ALL the things..(actually make a written list..so you can see the words) of all the crap and hurtful things that hes done to you over the years...everything that you can remember...
and pull it out and read it when you need strength to remember WHY you will better without him. You are in my thoughts..

 

[WriterofWords]

Hun, he may not be as happy as he wants you to think he is, he probably has no idea what happiness is because it is very skewed through the bottom of the bottle. Worry about you and your son, not him, or you will drive yourself nuts! Make a deal with yourself,,, set aside 5 minutes in the morning or evening and have your own little pity party just for you. And then tell yourself that is enough wasted time over him and it's on with you now! That is what a counselor told me a long time ago and it only took a few days of it to make me realize that even that 5 minutes was a waste my own time that he didn't deserve to steal from me.

 

[ninny]

Do something for yourself. When i went through the most worst time of my life, i had to convince myself it wasn't my fault. That was so hard, i still fight with it. The best thing i did was i bought a puppy. He made me focus on something besides that had happened. Take you and your son somewhere to get away or if you've always wanted to learn to swim or something do it. Make this time all about you and your son. It won't take the pain away but it will dull it for a while. Praying for you.

 

[CrazyFowlFreak]

Lots of love your way. This is HIS problem, not yours. You ought to try going to an Al-anon meeting. They are what saved me last year when my Dh had a breakdown and left for a week, laying up drunk at his brother's house. He had always drank heavily, but life, work, college, kids, wife, bills, etc, got to him and he lost his marbles and went overboard. I finally gave him the ultimatum that he come home and not drink anymore or he didn't get to come home. He came home and has stopped drinking. We are very lucky to have gotten through this and I'm a very patient woman.

Please go to a meeting. I promise it will help you very much. You will leave feeling empowered and strong and you will have areal life support system. You deserve better than what's been dealt to you right now. You CAN do this, you are a strong, independent woman! I am thinking of you. *hug*

 

[Lunachick]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Me too. To directly answer your question, it hurts so much because what you thought was your happy future is not going to happen anymore.

You will survive. Mostly because you have no choice. Just don't turn to alcohol or drugs to make your hurt go away.
You do have a good future - believe in it.

 

[frankenchick]

Crystal,
You will still come up for Chickenstock, won't you?!

I second what's already been said.