Why me? RANT

[BorderKelpie]

It is overwhelming, but you're doing a great job. Take a breather, cry quietly in the corner if you must, get it out of your system. Then, remember how important you are to your family and how much they trust/love you. Hang in ther, it does get better, or at least, you learn how to make it work.
I wish I could help. Best wishes to you and yours.

 

[The Poultry Peanut]

Quote:
Very well said!!

 

[Germaine_11.20]

You probably don't want to hear this, but this is great practice for having to deal with life later on.

Sounds like you are doing a great job. It isn't always easy being the oldest, but midddle and young have their issues too.

If you are being given the responsibility of caring for your brothers then you should have some say in the discipline.

Ask your mom if you can have a little more control there. Then if they start to whine...no t.v., computer or whatever it is they like. Sure they are going to whine longer and louder but it will eventually stop when they find out they are not going to get their way. And they will start respecting you more. Plus it will be good for them to have to help out and stop crabbing and whining.

Don't abuse the discipline if you are allowed it, but think about what might have worked on you at that age.

Positive re-inforcement works great too. "Hey, pick up your toys and then you can..." or "Wow! you haven't whined in hours, great job. I like you alot more when you don't whine. Let's go read a book..."

Also, when they whine, look at them and tell them that when they can talk properly and not whine, and ask you properly then you will listen to them. And ignore them until they do.

As for pinching, I'd pinch back. It may be mean but alot of kids don't get it until it comes back around. I would warn him first and get permission on this one too. But that is not right that he can get away with pinching you.

 

[Ol'FashionHen]

....

Your a good kid for helping out, kids are kids and when they get older as well as you will, you will look back and it won't be so bad afterall. Hang in there, this too shall pass, we will keep praying for you, your dad and family.
As for your friends, don't you be a doormat, your a beautiful, strong, intelligent, lovely young lady who would look adorable with a crop cut .... go get it cut, who cares what they think YOU should do or like

. It's a haircut!

When I was young I spent the night with one of my friends and we were going to the video store. I wanted to wear my skirt poofy thing over my tight jeans, like Madonna wore in one of her videos ( you know the white thing that you wear under your dress to make it poofy) that thing. Anyhoo my friend was like "oh no you are not wearing that thing in the store with me, that looks stupid".(

.. I was a total 80's junkie and loved the fashion, everything the bigger the better, the higher I could jack my hair to Jesus, the better I liked it, a glorious spread of perfectly placed teased head odornment

) I was like

" you watch and see". She went to her mom and said she wants to wear that stupid looking thing to the video store with us, her mom said "well let her, it looks kind of cool".

Ha Ha ... I wore it, and loved it. I was even complimented on my attire. She walked around the store away from me, with her hands crossed the whole time with a terrible look on her face

.

Your doing a great job.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Sounds like you are under a lot of stress, and need some time without responsibility for your brothers and chores. Ask if your mother can arrange a day or two a week for someone else to come in and help.

One thing that it is very easy for kids to not understand is the developmental stages of their younger siblings--what they are and are not capable of, how they think and reason, which is not at all the same as a more mature person such as yourself. No doubt when you were 3 or 6 you reasoned and similarly to what you are seeing in your brothers.

You need to have a talk with your mother on how to handle them--what they are and are not capable of, and how to best get them to do as they should. She will have the specifics for them, ...

But, the reality is that the 3 year old is not going to be able to do much in the way of chores, thinking ahead or anything but reacting to his environment, which is very different, and probably a bit scary with Mom gone a lot and Dad in the hospital. You need to be proactive in providing things for him to do that are safe, constructive and fun. Be ready to switch gears, and watch like a hawk to try to do so before he has a meltdown. Make sure to keep him fed and rested--a snack before he notices his hunger can make a huge difference. A picture book and his blankie or a quiet age-appropriate video or tv show will be calming and help him rest, even if he doesn't sleep.

The 6 year old can help with more things, but as you mentioned his size, and also his strength can be limiting factors. He should be able to empty waste paper baskets and maybe the kitchen trash, bring in the mail and newspaper, feed and water the animals (with supervision: reminders to do so, and checks to see that it was done properly). There are parts of meal preparation that he can do--open cans and pour them into the proper dish or pot, listen for the buzzer if you have to leave the room when something is on a timer, sort laundry, put clothes into the washer or dryer, fold and put away underwear and socks and other simple items.

Do realize that at 6 he needs playtime, so if you make a game of chores,or reward completion with a game he likes you will get better results. Make sure that when either brother has done something good that they hear you tell your mother about it.

Your mom is right that you shouldn't be telling people that they are jerks. If you don't have time or interest in doing what they want, simply say so if they insist, otherwise, simply say, "I have to go" or "Mom is expecting me." You can be cordial without being friends with someone you don't particularly care for.