Writing a story in a chicken's eyes! UPDATE Pg. 75!

[ParadiseFoundFarm]

I love your story. I am hoping for more and you asked earlier for any critiques on your work so here is 1 small one. I, as another person has expressed, got the impression from the beginning that Cloudy is a male. As the story is unfolding I find it hard to change my view of this as it came out so slowly and I had already pictured "male" in my head. This is a children's story and they too will read it slowly but not because you haven't typed it yet as is the case with us BYC fans. I suggest you make clear, using pronouns somewhere in the first part of the story, who is a "she" and who is a "he".
I hope you take this critique in the way it was intended, just a little help from a fan who hope you make many dollars from your original story. I think you have a very good talent.

 

[Magic Birdie]

Quote:
what about the people who don't copy it, but want more anyway?

Well, this is a warning for those people who do copy. Blame them.

But what about us???

 

[katchley7595]

found a photo that would be great,its on a forum about sitting eggs on 7/21 .i will try to find it ,it has a chick hatching you can see the beak,and a little more really unusual its in black n white

 

[ChickLover98]

Quote:
Thanks, I will take that to mind when I finish the final copy.

 

[WooingWyandotte]

Wait a sec....who's copying this? They're literally copying and pasting this into another post?

 

[ChickLover98]

Quote:
No, but their stories are almost exactly like mine, Plot and all.

And until they stop, no one gets more.

 

[LadyGinger]

Im sorry someone is doing that! I want to know the end of the story, please dont stop, you are such a gifted writer.

 

[ChickLover98]

Quote:
Thank you so much, but I don't want anyone else taking it. I just can't.

 

[Silkie Sue]

WHAT

Now what are we gonna do..... this is not fair.
don't make me unleash " Cloudy the Ninja Chicken from Planet CluckCluck" on everybody...

 

[SamuelMcF]

Quote:
Haha!