You know you are in____________ when__________

You know you're in Minnesota when everyone goes out to The Lake

When you have a second story door to the outside, with no stairs

when all the food on your plate is white

when pepper is considered an extreme spice

when in only thing between you and the Alberta Clipper is a caribou 500 miles north of where you are standing

when uff da/ish da is consider major bad language

when lutefisk is considered eatible (sp?)

when you entire wardrobe consists of sweaters
 
You know you're in Bristol when . . .

You've heard many a personal conversation that you really didn't want to whilst sat on the bus. I would recite some but I think the mods would ban me :x

Correct English is not "where is that [place]" it's "wur zat to?" (where's that to?), and the correct greeting is "awrighhhh?" ("alright?"). And people from other parts of the country (namely London) think you sound like a cross between a farmer and a pirate.

Chavs outnumber the human population.

You know you're from Britain when . . . .

You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.

You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.

You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.

You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.

You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house

More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser

You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.

You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year

You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.

A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.

You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear

You've accepted queuing as a way of life.

You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.

You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?)

You're surprised when the bus / train turns up on time.
 
you know you're in new mexico when

the same day delivery service is two weeks late and keeps saying well why didn't you call to remind us. oh, you did, well, we didn't get your message.

you can't charge your utility bill over teh phone because they only have one person in the office and her job is to take your bills in person.

every city office closes at four pm and they mean it, too.

the big sign for the grocery store is spray painted.

you know if you're in a quaint tourist town to say something local so you don't get the tourist price.

you know that officially there is no such thing as a tourist price and doing so would be highly illegal but well still much better to get the um, local discount.

and lastly,

you know that big sign by the road that says tuna 3/$1 means cactus fruit not chicken of the sea.
 
Those are too funny!!

I only have a few, I don't know of lists and such for TN just stuff I have observed.

You know your in Tn when the site of people painted in checkered orange and white no longer cause a second glance.

You know your from small town Tn when "rivals" from other small towns have lasted for generations, and should you marry someone from said rival... well lets just say friday nights are not a pretty sight LOL


You know your in TN when directions come like this
"go past the Oak tree till you see where farmer Johns old barn use to be." or "Its over yonderways."

You know your in Tn when every town you go through has a one way square that your going the wrong way on.
(you know your from Tn when you can't "go to town" without screaming and hollering at the idiots who can't read and go the wrong way around the square)

You know your in Lynchburg TN when you go to buy some Jack Daniels and you find out its a dry county!!!

Crystal
 
CGJ: Past the Oak tree till you see where farmer Johns old barn use to be is where my g-ma lives and my daddy's house is over yonderway

I have a million but.....You know you are in NC when:

You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Fayetteville

You know Coke tastes better in the little bottles and that peanuts make coke taste even better

Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves

Your school took a field trip to the State Fair in Raleigh


You know a bunch of people who have hit a deer

You know a few that have also hit a bear

You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waitin' to pass a tractor on the highway

You've rode the school bus for an hour...each way

You know tea is served sweet unless you specifically asked for unsweetened

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year

You end your sentences with a preposition, for example, "Where's my coat at?" "What's that made out of?"

You know the difference between a deer dog, a bear dog and a coon dog by the way they bark

You know Krispy Kreme makes the best doughnuts!

You can spell words such as Ocracoke, Fuquay-Varina, and Chocowinity

You or your neighbors have more hunting dogs than you have family members.

You visit the NC State Fair mainly to see your neighbor's prize chicken.

You say, “it don’t” instead of “it doesn’t.”

“Onced” and “twiced” are words.
 
You know you are in North Eastern NC when school is canceled because of any of the following:

a. fog
b. chance of snow
c. chance of heavy rain
d. hurricane
e. Nor'Easter
f. 100+ degree weather
g. livestock show
 
You know you're from New Jersey when...

You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.

You know what a "jug handle" is.

You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey -there's the shore and you don't go to the shore, you go "down the Shore". And when you are there, you're not "at the shore", you are "down the Shore".

This one is 100% true


You know that this is the only "New __" state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try...Mexico,...York, .Hampshire - doesn't work, does it?)

You know that WaWa is a convenience store.

You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.

You weren't raised in New Jersey -- you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.

You've NEVER, NEVER pumped your own gas.

You say the words "water", "coffee", "dog" and "whatever", like this "wudder", "cawfee", "dowg" and "wadever".
 
This arrived today from my son...

FORGET REDNECKS; THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAD TO SAY ABOUT UTAHNS!

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and
they don't work there, you live in Utah .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah .

If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah .

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Utah .

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah .

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah .

If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah .

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah .

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends, you live in Utah

I added a few myself...

If you call Cheese and Potato casserole "Funeral Potatoes" you live in Utah.

If you'd die before you sipped some ice tea but you'll drink a six pack of Diet Coke in one sitting you live in Utah.

If you use "to" instead of "at" you're either ignert or you live in Utah - but probably both.

If you "bath" your baby before the neighbor drops by to "tend" it, you live in Utah.

If you ask your neighbor to 'borrow me' something, you live in Utah.

If you are once again pregnant at your kid's wedding, you live in Utah.

If one of the lessons taught at Election Judge Training is to remember to not use the terms "Brother" and "Sister", you live in Utah.

If you are expected to constantly run for office - just because you're the only democrat in the precinct, you live in Utah.

If the democrat caucus in your precinct consists of you and your children, you live in Utah.

If you've thrown away more food than you'll ever need and still have tons of it stored away, you live in Utah.

If you know the best time to rob an entire neighborhood on Sunday - because everyone is gone for three hours and the doors are unlocked - BUT you don't - you live in Utah.

If you receive a phone call from the sheriff's department saying someone reported a car matching yours stealing gas at the local station - did you do it? And they believe you when you say you didn't, you live in Utah.
 

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