Dumbest Things People Have Said About Your Chickens/Eggs/Meat - Part 2 : Chicken Boogaloo.

[lilwildrabbit]

YOU'RE rude? Then ... what are THEY? Sounds like your signs are too subtle. You need some Beware. Attack Trained Dogs!, Trespassers, Be Advised - Snakes in Field! And, Trespassers Will Be Shot, Survivors Will Be Shot Again! signs. As for "graduation pictures", it's hard to believe they could be graduating since they obviously never learned to read, not to mention you had to repeat yourself over again, and they still didn't get it. A little slow. BTW, that's exactly what I would've said to that mouthy little b....h. Plus, I'd have called the cops on whoever damaged the fence. Have you ever considered razor wire?

I am ashamed to admit it, but my daughter, with whom I do NOT get along, believes she should be allowed to trespass on private property to forage for mushrooms. She makes money on morels every spring and wants to expand. Little Socialist! She's her father's daughter, and I divorced him years ago. Guess why?

When I was president of my condo association back in the 1990's (before I got smart and moved to the boonies), One night, I saw some college kids pull up to our pool. Knowing they weren't residents, I turned around and followed them. They were just about ready to climb the fence and have a private pool party when I pulled up and confronted them. Of course, one had a bigger mouth than the rest with a sense of entitlement to go with it.

ME: Do you live here?
MOUTH: (Indignantly) No, but we swim here all the time. (Oh! That makes it ok?)
ME: Not any more. This is private property and you're trespassing. Furthermore, the pool is for residents only who pay for the privilege.
MOUTH: What do you care?
ME: I'm one of the paying residents and the president of the association, so leave.
MOUTH: What, are you on some sort of power trip?
ME: No. I'm just tired of little punks like you who think you're entitled to do whatever you want.
MOUTH: You can't call me a punk. I'm a college student!!
ME: (I'd returned to college to study for my new career) Gee. What a coincidence! So am I!!
MOUTH: You're awfully old to be a college student, aren't you?
ME: Why, yes I am. And, you're awfully stupid to be a college student, aren't you?

At that point he became furious and yelled, "Suck my ____!"
To which I replied, "Oh goody! Let me run home for my tweezers and magnifying glass, and I'll be right back."

The girls just stood there with their mouths hanging open, while the other guy said, "Let's just go" and stuffed The Mouth in the car. They never came back. Imagine that.

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

 

[7 Biddies]

We live on a sort of dead end( neighbor to the south is a slumlord trailer park owner) so we discourage passers through. A few years ago, a drunk crashed through our gate, blasted out the side, dragging the fence in the wheels. He got stuck, and being a drunk and scared of getting caught, he ran to the slumlord neighbors house and stole a car that had keys left in it and then drove through the bottom of our fence, south fence and blasting through the north fence across the whole pasture, then through my parent's pasture till he found the haying road. He finally got onto the real road, then ended up plowing into a tree at 60 miles an hour.

Now, THAT's drunk. Too bad you can't fix stoopid, so it's best to just kill it.

 

[7 Biddies]

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

Thank you. Believe me, I do (go, that is)!

 

[saltycity]

I was asked recently, by two different people, if the switch to daylight saving time bothered my hens. I said, "No, there aren't any clocks in their coops."

 

[AlleysChicks]

I was asked recently, by two different people, if the switch to daylight saving time bothered my hens. I said, "No, there aren't any clocks in their coops."

Mine have been confused because I open the door for them and it's still dark out!

 

[Bantambird]

Was he okay??? 

Now, THAT's drunk. Too bad you can't fix stoopid, so it's best to just kill it.

The guy busted both legs, but he survived. The bum had just gotten out of jail and had nothing, so there was no point in pressing charges, so we just let the money side go, knowing we wouldn't see any, and he went back to jail for plenty of other stuff. Like two stolen, wrecked cars.

 

[lilwildrabbit]

I actually thought about setting a watch hive of bees out in the yard I do know how to make them mad in about 2 seconds that anything moves will get nailed!! Would have taught the twits there sunbathing!!

 

[bigmrg74]

Reminds me of my young Belgian horse I had. He was 1600 lbs at 18 months. He had no sense of where his body was and significantly underestimated the distance it would take for him to stop. He was in a field by himself having recently recovered from surgery. In the field were pecan trees. Someone stopped and asked if they could pick a few pecans but was told no by the property owner. They came back later and tried to sneak into the field carrying a bucket. Well Beau took one look at a person across the field with a bucket and thought dinner was being served early. He came galloping up and underestimated his stopping distance thus knocking the poor fool to the ground then stood over him snorting. My barn manager laughed for days at the thought of him scrambling out from under 1600 lbs of baby horse and beelining for the fence with a very puzzled horse looking on....

Poor City Slicker there must have been about Shibby in their pants when that big ole sweetie was right there standing over them asking for dinner.

 

[Talithahorse]

Poor City Slicker there must have been about Shibby in their pants when that big ole sweetie was right there standing over them asking for dinner.

He didn't take many pecans that was for sure....

 

[7 Biddies]

I just don't get what's going on in the world that so many people believe "what's yours is mine", my own daughter included. I mean, she thinks that land shouldn't be privately owned; all land should be available to everyone. Obviously, she didn't think that one through; she stopped with wanting to be able to gather morels anywhere they grow, but didn't consider the repercussions of that philosophy. She's not stupid, either - she has an IQ of 144. So, where are these attitudes, such as being able to picnic on *your* porch, in spite of No Trespassing signs being clearly posted, coming from? Can some of you younger folks enlighten an old lady?