Wolfram kept his eyes locked on the road, unable to even cast a glance at anyone else. He felt like he was drowning in his thoughts, yet was completely aware of his surroundings. Taylor had headphones in, singing softly along to the music, Toby, Alice and River all silently staring put there windows. Suddenly the aching silence was to much to bare. He turned the radio on, with more force then really need, blue eyes shooting a deadly glare in the mirror at Taylor, before locking them back on the road.
He phone vibrated in his sweatshirt pocket. Lily...
Normally he would have instantly picked up the phone.
Normally he would have longed to hear her voice.
Her laugh.
Normally he would have done anything to see her. Just to be around her, to talk to her, to simply just feel her presence.
But now, at that moment he felt nothing but betrayed. Hurt. Lost. Broken.
He had confided in her so many times. He trusted her with his life. She knew secrets even his mother didn't. She had seen him at his worst, and he best. His bad and good. She had seen every side of him.
He trusted her.
But she betrayed him. Left him for some low-life. Because I'm not good enough.
I'm not worthy.
I didn't love her enough.
He dug his teeth into his bottom lip until it started bleeding, holding back sobs, trying to let the music drown out his thoughts.
I loved her! I still love her! But I can't trust her...
She hates me.
A growl escaped him against his will, but over the music no one in the back seat heard him.
I'm sorry God, whoever and wherever you may be.
What did I do to deserve this?
This pain?
This betrayl?
My dad, Mapleshade, Lily. I though I could trust them.
WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!
Forgive me, please I'm begging you.
Just make all the pain stop. Please let me wake up. Just let it be a bad, long, nightmare. Let me wake up with Lily next to me, my mom and Mapleshade in the kitchen chattering about nonsense. Let me wake up with Sage still here, doing whatever Sage does. Let me wake up with out these scars on my arms, let me wake up not feeling like dying every second of the day. Let my dad never have hated me. Please.
But then you would have never met Lachlan or River, Brisa or Alice. Or Bleddyn. Would you really want that?
That was a question he couldn't answer. He blinked rapidly, trying to rid of emotion that welled in his throat.
"Am I going the right way, Alice?" His voice cracked, and came out much more emotional then he wanted.