$138,000.00 Ladies! $138,000.00!!!!

[dacjohns]

I should just keep my mouth shut because now this thread will keep showing in my posts but I find it hard to do.

Most of the BYC members are female so male bashing is not unexpected. I do wish it did not happen and some of the bashing is pretty vitriolic.

Many of the men in BYC could probably say the same things about their wives or girlfriends but most of them don't.

What example are we setting for our young members?

I was told on another thread that if I didn't have anything nice to say I shouldn't say anything. Could that maybe also apply to others.

Something that works for me: When I start feeling petty towards my wife because of things she does of doesn't do I thank my Heavenly Father that I have such a wonderful wife. All those petty feelings go away.

.

 

[FutureChickenMan]

Are you ladies noticing anything? Read what the guys are posting, take it to heart.

 

[Shogun99]

Well this past summer I was a stay at home brother for my 5 year old baby sister. I washed the dishes, made food, did the shopping, took care of the bills etc. I didn't get paid for it, but I did it because it HAD to be done and I didn't expect to be paid for it.

Being a Stay-at-home Mom, Dad, etc should be the reward in and of itself. You get to have a positive influence one the lives of the ones that you love. Monetary compensation is just foolish and a way for bitter individuals to complain that what they do is supposedly worth a gawd-awful amount of money.

I have done it and continue to do it and now I'm working as an EMT and going to school Part-time. Cleaning, cooking, and doing the laundry is something that EVERYONE has to do unless you want to live in squalor. Its not worth monetary compensation.

Find enjoyment in it and it will not be a chore. That's what I do.

Oh and in terms of compensation? My mom bought me a six pack of my favorite beer about once a week for my assistance. That was more than enough payment for me.

 

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
This is SO true! Thats exactally what happened to me. I had managed to pull my self out of 2 bad marriages and dust myself off! I swore I never would do it again. I finally gained all of my confidence and self respect back.I moved my then 11 year old son to a new town and we started over. Then WHAMMY!! Thats when Mr. Wonderful Perfect Dad showed up! I however turned him down. All he said was When the right guy comes along you will be ready. We have been married a year and a half!

Hey you men that are getting your feelings hurt.... Remember these things are NOT being said about YOU. They are based on personal experiences. No one means to attack you. There are rotten men AND women out there. Maybe we all stand to learn something by reading these posts. I know you are out numbered on this site but hang in there. HEY! Maybe you could start your own thread about your ex evil women!!

 

[blueeyes]

WELL I HEAR THE SAME THING DAY AFTER DAY..IT NEVER ENDS

 

[tntstanifer]

Quote:
I don't think most of the SAHM's on here are expecting to get paid. They just want to feel appreciated. Yes, being able to raise your own children and enjoy each and every moment of their lives is a blessing. My first husband said it was my job though. And he said his work was his job. And that's the way it was supposed to be. So, one day, I asked him...........ok, you have your job and I have mine........BUT, when is MY weekend??? For those of you that believe in God....think about marriage this way, instead of giving you a chance to be happy...........maybe it is actually giving you a chance to be holy. Please God in your marriage and you will be happy.

 

[tomstephens]

Quote:
I don't think any of us are having our feelings hurt by this. We just are saying a few things:

1) I wouldn't want this said about me -- which means your husband probably doesn't want this said about him

2) Complaining about your men doesn't help or solve anything.

3) A public forum is certainly not the place to do husband bashing.

I'm, personally, less concerned with Ex's but I still think it should be kept in check. Since like FCM mentioned -- men get beat up enough for their short-comings, we don't need to add to that. And -- it doesn't help. If you're a Christian than it's worse than just not helping; it's a sin. Check out the book of Jude if there's confusion about this.

And we've already mentioned why we won't have a thread about our women -- or even ex's.

Anyway I'm staying out of this now.

 

[Cetawin]

Quote:
OMG I think we had the same 1.0 and 2.0 versions. Our 3.0's must be brothers. Although he does not do the dishes he does pick up behind himself.

maplesky7: Hon, this thread is a fun thread indeed. While I adore my husband, I can pick on him with the best of them. If you are a new military wife and this is your first deployment...my advice to you, learn to laugh. If you cannot, you will never make it. I am married to a former Green Beret. We married in March of 01 and switched posts in March 01, he went to three schools and I saw him for about 40 days total in the first 6 months of our marriage. After 9/11, my husband was gone by the first of October. The first of 5 deployments. Being a military wife during a time of crisis is like being a single parent. *****Hugs*****

 

[WriterofWords]

From everything written this is what I can understand everyone is saying:

Women: Husbands/BF, SO, etc. please stop taking me for granted and appreciate me for the person I am. Just because I stay at home, it does not mean I have nothing to do and have no value. Please help me when I need it, and don't criticize me if what I do doesn't meet your standards, help out instead. Staying at home is a choice, I can always go to work outside the home. If I do work outside the home and so do you, pitch in and help out at home. Please don't expect me to have two full time jobs and do both of them to the highest standards. We can both have 1 full time and 1 half time and get it all done together. I was raised to show feelings, I'm sorry you may not understand that or might have been raised differently, but try and understand my feelings rather then making fun of them or accusing me of having PMS. When I cry, or laugh, or get angry, it has nothing to do with being on my period and I'm tired of that being a man's excuse or explanation to his friends about my emotions. Try asking me why I'm feeling this way, or reacting this way, try to understand me. If I've told you in the past that "You wouldn't understand" or "It's nothing", it's because that is how I've felt when I've tried in the past to explain and you get that blank look of panic or make fun of me. If you try, I will too.

Men: Wives/GF, SO, etc. please stop taking me for granted. Just because your friends are unhappy don't feel you have to speak badly about me too just to fit in. If you are truly that unhappy tell me and let's try to work it out. I'll try and be more understanding, but if I don't know the issue it's hard to do. I'm sorry if I don't see things the way you do, I was raised differently and my job as a husband is different from that of a wife, although it's changing with each generation. Please understand that I have more value than being able to open a jar of mustard or swing a hammer, my knuckles don't drag the ground and I don't carry a club. I do have feelings, I may not show them as well as you would like but I do the best I can and I'll try a bit harder if you will try a bit harder to understand them. My feelings can be hurt, they are hurt often, but I don't always tell you because I don't know how or I was raised to think it isn't "manly" to admit I can be hurt. But I do hurt, I do have feelings, I do have emotions, and I'll try and explain or show them better. Please stop accusing me of thinking with my "Little brain" or "The small head", you don't like being accused of PMS, I don't like being accused of thinking with my genitals.

Ok, now let's try talking to each other and spelling out what is on our minds with our significant others, if you have them. I don't, but I used to.

 

[thechickenchick]

writer of words... VERY WELL WRITTEN