$150,000 What To Do

[Beekissed]

$15, 000 to the Lord. Pay off outstanding debts, give some to kids, take a small family vacation(never have had one) the rest would fund my overseas missions.

 

[Sierra pachie bars]

I would travel to Spain , brining my nephew with me. sight see and rent car. Drive to Lordes And have my nephew dipped in the water there. He has MD and right now only God can provide a cure.

 

[ChickensAreSweet]

I'd set up a trust fund of some type for my children, so they would get the money.

I wish you the best.

 

[maple]

Quote:
And I know you've talked about cancer...wasn't it? And I see your sig line, "Live like you were dying." Deerman.... I don't know what to say. I'm an emotional wreck right now as it is but this is making me really sad that you are having to contimplate....well, to live like you were dying.

It really hit me a few days ago when I was cleaning the coop and that song came on. I thought, you know, some people get so sick that they couldn't go Rocky Mountain climbing.... And other's just wouldn't have the finances to do things on what people call thier "bucket" list. I thought about my health with my heart and all and got sad. The song stirs up these emotions like...like REALLY living your life and being not just happy but full of joy. I want that. I want that peace of mind. I've been so stressed lately and I know my 2 little girls can sense it. I hate all of it. I hate the divorce. I hate the man who used and abused me. I hate that I let it happen. I hate that I didn't run away from him when all the bad started. I hate how my health is failing me now.

I used to be this spunky girl who was strong and could help my dad carry heavy things. I used to have the energy in me to play soccer and ride my mountain bike on horse trails. I in a sense am dying...part of my heart is no longer pumping, the part I had my heart attack has been damaged and is scarred. I hate the dr. who told me I was having a muscle cramp and sent me home when I was having my heart attack. I just want some peace. I just want to be done with the divorce. I don't want to be fighting for alimony or S.S.I. but I have no choice. Why do I have to fight for it? I'm tired of fighting. I just want to be in a new place then that I can afford since I can't stay here in my childhood home. And I don't want my kids to feel stress and burdened and sad anymore and I know they do. We had a moment tonight.... I'm just so sad. I'm tired.... My body aches... My mind is all over the place...

And I think....even admists my down times, my dark times....like now....I have to remember my faith. It's all I've got to hold on to. I don't have the money to go sky diving but I've got a great view of the sunset and the house I may be going to will have a veiw of the sunset too....it over looks corn feilds. That ain't bad. I might not have it in me to go Rocky Mountain climbing but there's a little forest perserve right around the bend and I bet I could walk some trails with my 2 little girls. I might not ever have the courage to ride a bull named Fu Man Chu but trying to train our new pup after I had to put my old girl down last April, has been just as challenging. And so I think...the road is hard...it's full of obstacles and some twists and curves in the road are scary but I know I'll get through them.

I've got to work on the love deeper, spoke sweeter, and giving forgiveness I've been denying part. I've been so hurt, I'm jaded. My girls...I love em so. The pain and the hurt and the stress isn't doing my health any good. And dang it all deerman....it's during the night time like this that I have a moment of quiet once my girls are asleep that I can get all goopy and sappy like this.

Dang it...even made me go to youtube and play the song...

It's a good song. It makes me quietely reflect and it makes me smile.

I'm gonna say it again deerman...you've been given some good ideas here....memories to make for and with your family...leaving some behind to help provide for them...but only you know what is in your heart. Maybe you have an idea but think you need an approval...an ok...by someone to say it and suggest it. I don't know. Just a thought. Maybe what you want to do you think may be considered selfish because perhaps it involves you and not your family? Again...just a thought. Maybe you want to rent a cabin in Alaska for a month out in the wilderness and be alone? I don't know...no one knows...what could be going through your head right now.

But I would be interested to hear the ideas that you, yourself, have been having since you obviously have given thought about cashing it in and having the rest left for your family needs. What IS it that deerman would like to do? What's on YOUR bucket list? Maybe there's just one thing you really want to do...maybe there's a few things you really want to do. Are you willing to share your last wishes here with us? Just know....it's your life....you decide ultimately how to live...your life. All we here at your friendly byc family forum can do is support you and pray for you and well, learn from you.

It's your life...you're story...you write the chapter.

 

[deerman]

Maple thanks for the link.

Yes thats been my sig. line about 3 yrs. Yes I will go skydiving. Have been spending 2 to 5 days a week with my grandkids.

There's so much I would like to do, I spend my whole life working to get what I have, very long work weeks.

Yes I wonder if I am being selfish wanting to cash in my life insurance.

Ideas on here have help, I love my family more than anything,

Oh beleive me I listen to that song over and over, yes read the good book over and over.

I want to do thing now before my health , get to the point I can't.


Sorry you are going thru hard times , but my dear BYC friends Don't be sad for me,

My last 2 1/2 year , have change the way I live my life, just like the song.

I Thought real hard before posting this, but had hope someone would post ideas that i may not have thought about, and they have.

Trust funds ,for my grandkids is a yes.
I have been spending alot of time with family.........but have not been taking many pics , or video (not thinking)

 

[sawmane1]

bye a 70 thousand dallar bass boat bye 10000 dallars worth of gear and put the rest into your flock.. thats waht i would do

 

[BrattishTaz]

Quote:
I would spend a tiny bit to have a memory archive made- one of those people who helps record and write memoir-type stories of things you want to pass down. It's something you could leave your grandkids and they'll you know more though these stories. Take time to go through family photos and whatnot to make sure pics are labeled.

Theme park! Go to Disneyland with the grandkids!

Go see Mammoth Caves. Go to Southern Arkansas with them and dig for diamonds in the diamond fields. Go see the Sunset Meteorite Crater and Petrified Forest in Arizona. Visit the Grand Canyon and the Niagara Falls. There are some amazing things out there that make us feel close to God, and you could experience that with your family!

Mammoth Caves is amazing! We decided to do the "throw a dart" thing to determine where we would vacation and that is where it landed. I have wanted to move there ever since!

 

[ultasol]

One thing you may or may not have thought about is your care. Do you have LTC insurance that will cover you if you have a longer convalesence than expected? How much skilled nursing care does your health plan cover? Are there limits? Will they cover home health care? You would be SHOCKED at the loopholes that leave people in dire health situations stranded when they thought their insurance fully covered them. Dot your i's and cross your t's and take advantage of your time. Remember, you don't have an expiration date. An estimate is an estimate, and you may go sooner or you may go later than expected.
I wish you the best.

 

[deerman]

Quote:
Yes I'm bless in many way, my insurance pays everything after the first 1500 per year. I know no expiration date, I am planning on living a long time, not giving up on the fight. After my short term runs out my insurance will cost 800.00 per month....you can bet i will pay that , heck just 3 weeks supply of my chemo pills cost $5,000.

Thinks for heads up, will read all the fine print, but think i'm ok.

Not that I want to go, like the song we all want to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go now...


.something we all will have to go sometime, nobody getting out of this world alive.....

 

[perolane]

deerman