- Sep 21, 2019
The Journal of Rooster, a Survival guide.
It's week 8 in my new home, I heard the humans talking about there being too many "roosters" in the flock, and the one that seems to be in charge claims i'm one of them. This only came up once before, we never saw poor Sam again... I won't be making the same mistake.
The top rooster Roger is too big and tough as nails, there's simply no way I can take him down and become the new top rooster, and I'm too young to really make an impact. I'm only 8 weeks old for god-sakes! What do these humans expect of me? If I'm going to survive here I'm going to have to get clever.
I've decided to try to confuse the humans hoping they'll think i'm one of their precious "hens" in order to not suffer the same fate as my friend Sam. I've begun sitting on eggs while the hens are away and imitating the hens senseless clucking and noises, these hens never know when to shut up but I have to fit in so i'm playing the part.
I believe my plan is working, the humans came in and saw me hatching "my eggs", they tried to pick them up so I bit one of them, letting them know I'm a serious mother hen. I thought I made a strong impression but they simply laughed at me and walked away.... I've survived another day.
My rump is starting to become red and sore from sitting on these frustratingly uncomfortable eggs. I'm also getting extremely hungry, I haven't had the guts to forage with the rest, fearing it would blow my cover. Although, if an egg or two went missing.... nobody would notice right?
It's week 10 and I've survived two weeks now sitting on these blasted eggs, pushing hens into this tiny box to lay more eggs in order to replace the ones I've eaten. I'm starting to run out of room in this box... Every day I eat eggs and have to hide the shells under more straw. If this continues there won't be room for me anymore in this box... but if I leave, they will know the truth, I am a rooster! Not a mother hen. I'm not sure what do to.
Week 12 has come around and i'm feeling stronger than ever. I also have developed a curious taste of these eggs... no matter. I am alive. I've decided there is only one thing that will keep me alive, Roger the main rooster must be taken out! I must take his place! I will make a show of strength, so Roger will be so humiliated he will back down as top rooster.
I've started sharpening my beak in preparations for the war that is yet to come. Tonight it will be me or Roger, as soon as the sun sets and the humans go away I will take Roger out for good. I have no other choice!
Sunset is here and the time is almost right! I can feel blood pumping through my entire body, i'm shaking, scared, strong and determined all at the same time. There is no room for second guessing, this is it. Roger dies. I clench my claws and feet in anticipation as I watch Roger slowly fall asleep closing his eyes. Lazy, I'll truly be the better rooster.
**DOOR SLAMS OPEN*** What!? the humans! I've been caught! One of these chickens turned me in! Wha- As I wait for the humans to rush in and stop me, I see 30 more hens rush in. Flabbergasted I sit there and wait. The humans then say, "Well, Now we don't have enough Roosters, specially with that embarrassing one that thinks he's a hen. Ha! Ahh well...".
It... it was all for nothing? All this preparation? All this embarrassing clucking and hatching of eggs? I'm now the laughing stock of the flock... I wish they'd just take me now.
End of Journal Entries.