Accepting ourselves after ducks die

[Duck Hill]

No other Ducks in that pen ? Just Momma?

Yes, for the last duckling with momma, there were no other ducks in the pen. No other eggs in the nest. Just momma and the duckling. And she clearly loved it, so whatever happened was due to her ignorance, not her wishes. I think she was just trying to keep it warm and didn't understand she was heavy. The baby was right where her chest was.

Ouch!
Poor ducks... but that's life (and death).
I'm just pointing out, they are animals, and while cute, the loss thereof is not something to be mourned too greatly.

I agree that with ducks there is a lot more life - and death - than with some other pets. I disagree that the death of animals is "not something to be mourned too greatly."

I get quite attached to my animals. They are an important part of my life. Some of them are very special. When a special duck dies, a different duck will not replace the one that is lost. I can get another duck, and it will perhaps become another special one, but it will not be like the one before. The one that is gone leaves a big void no matter which duck comes afterwards. While I can recover well from the loss of some of my regular ducks, to me, the loss of some of my special ducks or special other animals is as difficult to recover from as the loss of a human friend.

 

[quackiemama]

 

[Chickenupho]

 

[Duck Hill]

So so sorry to hear about your ducklings, that is heartbreaking. I found my dog strangled on her own collar (that got caught on a piece of patio furniture) a few summers ago.

As for the other duck smothering her babies, some animals are just not good or instinctive mothers. May want to try her again and then just remove the ducklings once they've hatched to a brooder.

Aww. Hearing about your dog makes me think you must really understand how I feel about "my" six ducklings. That had to be so hard for you.

Yes, I like your idea. She sat on the eggs really well, better than my incubator. I think I will let her sit on more eggs. But then I think I will put the eggs in the incubator just before hatch time and keep them in the house. Poor momma, she loved them, but it may be best if she doesn't have any more little ones to watch over. Maybe I can try to see if she wants to adopt older, sturdier ducklings.

 

[Sea Wolf]

If you find some bigger ducklings soon, she may take them on. Be prepared if she doesn't. Not all moms are good, especially new ones. There is also the possibility that the older ducks deliberately drowned the babies in with them. I've seen ducks do this before. Grab them and hold them under. If they were still fluffy and not feathered, they do get water soaked and sink. Letting her sit on eggs and pulling them the day before hatch would be a great game plan for next time.

 

[Melodychick]

I’m so very sorry for your losses.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself. I don’t know enough about ducks to say whether anything you did or didn’t do resulted in their deaths, but it sounds like you tried to do things the right way. A favorite quote of mine is ‘Do the best you can until you know better. When you know better, do better’ -Maya Angelou. Sounds like you already have a better plan for the next batch of ducklings.

 

[Duckworth]

We all use our best judgment about these things. Judgment is based on our assessment of probability and our risk tolerance. It is impossible to eliminate all risk. Wherever we decide to park on that continuum, an adverse result is always a possibility. To act to limit risk is to say NO to other opportunities that would use the same time and resources.

We lost one of our ducks to a raccoon a few months back. I think I know how it got into the pen. I was injured when I built the pen and there was one spot I didn’t finish well enough because my injury was getting worse the more I worked and I ended up having surgery. A year later, nothing bad had happened to the ducks and I was in the process of fortifying everything when I got injured again. Another surgery followed and I wasn’t able to finish. So I tied everything down as well as I could, but not well enough. We came home from church later than usual one evening and found that all of our ducks were injured and one had been killed. I should have made sure my husband secured them in their house before we left instead of leaving them in the mostly secure pen.

I know how easy it is to pick up guilt. It’s the carrying of it that’s hard. My judgment before this loss was based on what I knew then about the probability that my ducks would be harmed and what I thought my risk tolerance was. My judgment has now been informed by loss and a greater appreciation of the nature and degree of the risk. I have done more to protect my ducks since then. Yet I am aware every morning when I go out to feed and care for them that something bad could have happened during my absence. I feel relieved every time I hear the first quack of the day and know that they have been safe.

I am very sorry for your loss. Grief is a very personal process, which can include working through feelings of guilt and regret on the way to acceptance and peace. Take your time.

 

[Miss Lydia]

 

[Duck Hill]

UPDATE:

As Momma duck and I both lost 6 ducklings at the same time, I have been looking to her for advice about how to react to the loss of six babies. I find this helpful in dealing with my loss. After all, they were ducklings, and she's a duck, and she lost hers just like I lost mine, so she should know.

One day later, she is out with her friends. She has left the nest (it has been stomped flat by her or by others). She is obviously just being a duck again.

Side note: "My" six babies were momma duck's genetic babies. Momma duck's six babies were from other ducks' eggs.

Normally, I might have grieved and might have waited till next year to make more babies.

But I decided to take momma duck's advice. So... last night I put momma duck in with the same drake that fathered my six lost babies. She was so excited to see him! She's not laying yet, of course, but she sure is hanging out with him. She is clearly looking forward, not back.

If momma duck lays again soon, I may have a set of full brothers and sisters to the ducklings I have lost.

I also have a second duck who is laying. I have a drake who has not always been fertile in the past, but I am giving him another chance, since I really would like some more of his babies.

So, because I'm taking momma duck's advice, I may have babies again this summer.

If I do... well, they won't swim unsupervised till they are adults.

 

[Miss Lydia]

Hoping the best for you All and look forward to seeing some ducklings!