Advice needed on family and dogs

[Ninjasquirrel]

I just know how it is with family traditions and in laws... My dog goes everywhere with me, she's my sidekick, but I do know when to leave her behind for her own good and my sanity. I bring her home Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner so they don't even care that I leave them behind.

Same with Duchess and me. She's my buddy. I only work 2 days a week and sometimes I work from home so we are always together. I guess I'm just being a defensive mother and I need to back down.

 

[FortCluck]

I agree with you on this. I take the is it going to matter in 5 years approach to battles of the inlaws. I know it's best that if I have an issue to run it through my SO and have him say it's HIS issue. Very very delicate balance.

I don't even tell my husband if I don't like something because I know sometimes it can cause tension. I just turn the other cheek and take the high road.

You can't choose your family

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

I don't even tell my husband if I don't like something because I know sometimes it can cause tension. I just turn the other cheek and take the high road.

You can't choose your family

I only tell him if it REALLY bothers me. AND...I make it about him. Last time it was, does it bother you when they give us advice? A resounding yes. Maybe you should talk to them about that, you know, if it bothers you.

 

[FortCluck]

Same with Duchess and me. She's my buddy. I only work 2 days a week and sometimes I work from home so we are always together. I guess I'm just being a defensive mother and I need to back down.

Yeah I'm the same way with my dogs. I think it's unfair, but I do know they're better at home together. Plus they'll be at the window waiting for me with the turkey!

I love my parents dogs though and I like spending time with them. I've been there when they bought their dogs, they have 3. Just my pack and their pack don't get a long except my puppy.

 

[FortCluck]

I only tell him if it REALLY bothers me. AND...I make it about him. Last time it was, does it bother you when they give us advice? A resounding yes. Maybe you should talk to them about that, you know, if it bothers you.

my husband's brother tried to make me stop dating him in the beginning. I was friends with his brother for several years until my husband walked into the picture. They weren't talking over some family drama... once I told him my piece of mind, no one ever said anything again.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Yeah I'm the same way with my dogs. I think it's unfair, but I do know they're better at home together. Plus they'll be at the window waiting for me with the turkey!

I love my parents dogs though and I like spending time with them. I've been there when they bought their dogs, they have 3. Just my pack and their pack don't get a long except my puppy.

Their dog tries to attack me every time it sees me. After a few minutes or so over there it calms down. They just dont have the pack mentality. They are the type of dog owners that treat their dogs like spoiled children and my sister is no different. The MIL has made comments like "oh, you run a tight ship" and "oh don't worry Duchess, mommy is just being mean" when I won't let Duchess run them down and make her calm so she doesn't pull the leash. Comments that, quite frankly, tick me off. Especially since she does not know our family dynamic nor the proper training that Duchess is undergoing. I just let them roll off and BREATHE.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

my husband's brother tried to make me stop dating him in the beginning. I was friends with his brother for several years until my husband walked into the picture. They weren't talking over some family drama... once I told him my piece of mind, no one ever said anything again.

My MIL has told me to run. Run far away from my SO. She says he's a mistake. Too bad I don't listen well!I love him so YOU are going to have to deal with ME. Whether you like it or not

 

[FortCluck]

Their dog tries to attack me every time it sees me. After a few minutes or so over there it calms down. They just dont have the pack mentality. They are the type of dog owners that treat their dogs like spoiled children and my sister is no different. The MIL has made comments like "oh, you run a tight ship" and "oh don't worry Duchess, mommy is just being mean" when I won't let Duchess run them down and make her calm so she doesn't pull the leash. Comments that, quite frankly, tick me off. Especially since she does not know our family dynamic nor the proper training that Duchess is undergoing. I just let them roll off and BREATHE.

Yeah, just breathe. Comments like that 10 years ago would probably make me fly off the handle I've calmed down in my '30s...

I expect my dogs to act a certain way and train them until they act that certain way, I don't have disobedient fur children. I don't have disobedient human children either, my boys act like young gentlemen.

I don't even have disobedient feather children My roosters don't even step out of line!

 

[FortCluck]

My MIL has told me to run. Run far away from my SO. She says he's a mistake. Too bad I don't listen well!I love him so YOU are going to have to deal with ME. Whether you like it or not

Isn't that her son... If my parents said that, I would give them silent treatment for days My husband is the only man I have ever introduced to my parents that they've accepted. So at 25 is The first time that they've ever liked any man that has ever been in my lifehow my husband met my family is quite the story... My grandmother who was like a second mom to me passed away (my father's mom). I was on vacation with my boyfriend (husband) and I told him I had to go to the funeral and cut vacation short. I wasn't expecting him to say that he would drive me because he had just broke his back a month before this and long road trips aren't truly recommended. He put on his back brace and drove me eight hours to get to the funeral.

My father respected him so much for driving me in all that pain that he even had him go to the funeral to meet the rest of my family.

 

[tripletfeb]

After reading this, I am so thankful we no longer talk to the inlaws. They are terrible people who were nothing but poison to us. That being said, drive separate or simply don't stay all day. You have a right to put your foot down too. And if it doesn't work out, tell them you will be starting your own traditions at Christmas. Good luck!