after Chickenstock had to face 1 mad husband

[sumatra]

I got back from a weekend away--it was so much fun to get away. I wish I could have met everyone, because the ones I did meet were so nice. Sold less than I wanted to, bought more than I should've. I got some geese and turkeys which I planned on doing, but I didn't plan on getting chicks. Fortunately I have a builing set up for chick care and a coop and large run so that is ok.
The problem is that I took our van and after the weekend it was naturally a very smelly van. I had tarps and cardboard lining most of it but some of the edges pulled away. Geese have long range pooping skills! About an hour after I got home I had pulled all the stuff out and vacuumed and was getting ready to run the steam cleaner when my husband got home. He needed the van to take my son to baseball practice. So he was growling about how it smelled. This morning he was still growling and tonight, same thing. I spent 3 hours steamcleaning it and washing it all out but my daughter had it and he couldn't see it. So, still growly. During that whole time , he never once asked me about my trip. When he got home from practice he made a few phone calls and went to bed. Tonight he tells me that he never wants to ever hear anything about chickens, rabbits ducks or any of those useless animals again. Then off he goes to a baseball game. He won't be home until 9 or so, and he will be tired then and go straight to bed. Normally, Tues. night is when I go play cards with my friends, but I cannot because both vans are in use. So I am sitting here feeling bad; I am alternately feeling sorry for myself because he hurt my little feelings, or stupid for liking messy old chickens or confused about the whole thing. Need feedback on whether or not I am too weird, but I suppose BYC is not the place I'm going to find objective viewpoints. No matter what hobby I get he hates it, so I am thinking about total body tattoos, chain-smoking and excessive alcohol/drug use as possible alternatives to chickens. Then he'd have a reason to holler, I guess.

 

[Majestic Lane Poultry]

Sounds like he is just a little surly about your trip. Love and jealousy often go hand in hand. My hubby used to hate it when I would sit and read. I finally figured out that he felt a bit neglected during my reading. He got over it.

Yours will too just hang in there. Just let him know that you love him, wished we would have been with you, and that he is lucky you changed your mind on buying the goat and mini horse.

 

[yotetrapper]

Being mad 3 days over a little goose poo in a van? Reading posts like this one make me realize how good my husband is. IMO, your husband is way out of line, and I'd play his game right back, do your own thing, go play cards, go to the bar, to heck with him.

 

[Michele_Lynd]

I cant give u an objective couse my hubby is the same way but u know those useless animals help feed u so...I tell him u dont have to like every thing I do and I dont have to like everything u do but lets be respectful of each other becouse this is a partnership and there is no I in it and being rude and sulking is a childish way to handle a difference, u should talk it out and if he dont ,find something of his and tell him that u dont want to hear about it, thats what I do it dont always work but I get my point across

 

[HorseFeatherz NV]

Give him a pair of ear plugs. When he asks what they are for, you can tell him to use them whenever you are talking about the useless animals.

No eggs for him!


Ooops for got the nose plug - for when he has to use the useless animal van.

 

[sumatra]

Well I HOPED he was being jealous, but I don't think so. I think it is what I call "museum syndrome" in which all your stuff should be meticulously preserved like it was a precious artifact. You can imagine how my many pets mess that up. He flies an airplane which is an expensive hobby. I am afraid of heights and get motion sick so I don't fly much. I guess I'll just talk chicken talk whenever he's explaining for the 35th time how to land a plane. I really don't expect him to take an interest in the birds, but he didn't even want to hear about ANY of it. A wonderful family took me in so I didn't have to sleep in the van. They were rebuilding a stone barn down the road, making a beautiful house out of it. I did start to tell him about them when I first got home but I guess they are no good, either. I would so much rather have a house full of baby toys and feel comfortable than to have to be on edge if the dishes pile up here in my own house! I think that I would agree about the jealous, except that he is usually not around me. He is usually in the woodshop or in the basement building models or flying or something. He is very active with our youngest son, who is 16, doing boy scout stuff or scorekeeping for baseball. Thus the chickens--jobs are hard to come by here, and I am here alone a lot. Solitude is fine with me, but I would like to feel that what I do matters. I do supply eggs and meat for us, but I know he likes the store bought stuff better. He even likes canned peas better than fresh ones. Go figure. So I wonder if maybe it is not the chickens he dislikes, but his ugly old wife. . .

 

[HeatherLynn]

Don't think that way. It sounds like he has all his hobbies and he just wants someone to quietly follow around and pick up after everyone. This is your hobby. This is something you do to bring in a bit extra and to put healthier than store bought on the table. If he does not appreciate that or if he is not appreciative of you its not because you should not be appreciated. He is just being a butt.

I know I am not being objective but my husband knows there would be some severe pain and a lot of lonely nights for him if he tried that one. My dad is the way your husband is. Nothing you do differently will make any of it better. He is just a butt.

Exlax brownies hunny, I made them just for you!!

 

[RachelFromTheBlackLagoon]

Quote:
I don't know you, but that last sentence made me very sad for you

I'm certain we've all felt how you're feeling at this moment and I'm positive we'd all agree that it doesn't feel very good. You know that what you do is important even if he doesn't always know that. He doesn't have to enjoy your hobbies. That's why they're YOUR hobbies and not HIS. You keep doing what makes YOU happy and please don't let anybody make you feel like it isn't worthwhile

 

[sumatra]

HeatherLynn you are right--nothing I do would probably change him. I suppose if I gave up the chickens, he'd be mad about the houseplants. However, you are all so kind to me that I will take up whining full time! I suppose I shall have to learn to ignore him,but it doesn't feel healthy to do that, if you know what I mean. I will go to BYC and talk about chickens and such. I really did enjoy myself this weekend; there's no denying that. If he gets tired of who I am there is a whole world of normal women out there. Too bad there aren't as many weird chicken-liking men out there. This is probably not healthy either. But I am feeling much better-- thank you so much!

 

[redhen]

Life is waaaay too short to live unhappy...

But only you can change your circumstsances. Because i highly doubt that hes going to change...
Why would you call yourself ugly and old..?? Dont do that to yourself...