after Chickenstock had to face 1 mad husband

[Xodrana]

Dump the bum. He is a very toxic mean spirited person. You don't need that in your life. There are pleanty of good men out there. Find one and be happy. Or be happy without one.

 

[Whispering Winds]

Quote:

Oh . . .Wow! Can you tell us how you really feel!! I know you are being serious, but I have had such a crappy day, this just made me laugh. thanks.

 

[rancher hicks]

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Easy advice when you don't have to live with the consequences. Amazing how you figured all that out about him in just one side of the story.

Fact is I've been married to the same woman for 34 years. That ought to say something about my knowledge on a successful marriage. Truth be told there are some men/women who have a hostile attitude before they even get into a relationship. It's me against him/her.

As I stated before, my wife and I are not in a competition to see who can be the happiest and keeping score to see who gets their own way more. When you work that way you have to be honest and admit you don't care about him/her, you care about yourself.

Truth is, when you pick a bad spouse it says more about YOU than it does about them.

I picked a winner. I don't have to worry about myself , she does, and she doesn't have to worry about herself , I do. There's nothing wrong with always wanting to have your way. Just that , that attitude does not make a successful relationship. Better to stay single, and being single is not a bad thing.

I'm sure there is nothing I can say that will change some of the attitudes here. It's really sad.

Glad when I wake up it will be with someone who cares for me and I her.

 

[chicksnchooks]

Your post made me sad for you - sending hugs and positive warm thoughts your way!

& you are not ugly and old - never, ever say that about yourself!

 

[Germaine_11.20]

Nevermind

 

[PurpleChicken]

I'd just like to suggest to everyone to be careful what you type. Former and current spouses can and will watch what you post here. I know this for a fact.

 

[WalkingWolf]

Quote:
Not only that, some of the things that are being said are hurtful even if they were not intended that way. We do not know the history of this marriage, and from the description that the OP gave I would hardly call her husband a bum, very much the opposite. It appears there is a lack of communication that has resulted into drifting, both in different directions. Life and relationships can be put back together but none of us here are qualified to do that. And a professional would not risk their license giving advice on the internet.

Again OP seek counseling, seek out family and friends for comfort, and most of all communicate. If you can do it on a forum with strangers you can do it with your loved one.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Some people have supportive family and friends; others do not, so saying to not talk here and to talk only there could well be saying (in her mind) you have no place to let out your feelings, so don't. Warning that this is a public forum and anyone can read ones post is one thing, and it is a good reminder; to go on and say stop talking about it & disregard what anyone here says is a bit much. Yes, some of the advice is over the top; I would hope that the OP realizes this.

We do have only one side of the story, and I think anyone posting needs to realize this. From the OP's posts, I do not see a couple drifting apart; I see a couple who is already very far apart, who seem to have different goals, values, expectations and interests. I agree that counseling seems warranted from what the OP has said.

 

[Xodrana]

Rancher Hicks. lighten up I wasn't saying anything about you and your obviously wonderful relationship. Also why do you assume that I never faced the consequences of leaving a toxic relationship such as the one Sumatra is in? You prove that there are good men out there and that Sumatra might do well to find a man such as yourself. I feel that most people are good but if you find yourself in a relationship with some who tears you down so badly that you feel old and ugly it may be time to search elsewhere.