An Open Letter to Significant Others (a RANT)

[Elsveta641]

I brought up a story today with my hubby....said my terminal manger which is 20 years my junior....has a wife that's stays home....yet he had to leave and numerous times has to leave to take care of his 5 and 7 year old because she "can't deal with the stress of taking them to their Dr or dentist appointments and can barely make it to the grocery store by herself......she is 30 years old! My own sister doesn't work and gets stressed when is asked to watch her grandbabies!! What is happening?

Most people are just flakey. But some have a legit reason. I'm almost 40 and have 3 kids. The first half of my marriage I was always shaking like a chihuahua, snapping at everyone, bursting into tears while alone etc. I have a very traumatic past (by anyone's standards, I am not a wuss at all) and everything seemed so stressful and overwhelming. Simple things like appointments and teacher conferences. I never broke down around the kids or asked for help. When my husband and I got older, he had grown up a lot and wanted to do those things. He would volunteer to take the kids to the dentist and register them for school and stuff. It was like this huge relief and I didn't understand why.

With adulthood and success came a miraculous thing called healthcare, and come to find out I have PTSD and ADD. Just knowing and understanding what was wrong was a tremendous help. Even without medication I am able to do those things when I really need to because just the knowledge of what's been wrong is such a empowering relief. For decades I honestly thought I was insane or even retarded.
So what's wrong with people is some are flakey and some are legit messed up. Both of those things are because the world and society as we know it is changing, and not for the better.

 

[Elsveta641]

This thread makes me sad. Doesn't anyone have a good marriage anymore? My husband kicks ass. He was only 19 when we got married and I already had a child from a high school relationship. He said a child deserves a real house and a father. He married me and bought us a house. He let's me dress him up as Jack Sparrow and he thinks I'm adorable even though I look like Barney Fife. Come on I know some of ya'll have a good marriage?

 

[MROO]

@MROO I've been meaning to tell you ... that is a beautiful cat in your avatar, and a lovely photo of it. I love the relaxed/thoughtful/ serene expression of its beautiful eyes.

Thanks! That's my Paco. He was a rescued bottle-baby and the feline love-of-my-life. My Boy. My Baby. My kitty soul-mate. I lost him earlier this year - suddenly and with no warning - to a fluke blood clot. The vet said that it was probably a residual from his rough start. Paco gave me nearly five years of unwavering love and companionship ... but I will miss him for many, many times that ... like, for the rest of my life!
I don't say this to make anyone sad, more to remind us all that love ... any love ... is temporal. We never know when we will lose it. All animals deserve a chance - and their love, no matter how short a time it is shared - is very, very special. Rest in Peace, my beautiful Paquito.

 

[MROO]

Most people are just flakey. But some have a legit reason. I'm almost 40 and have 3 kids. The first half of my marriage I was always shaking like a chihuahua, snapping at everyone, bursting into tears while alone etc. I have a very traumatic past (by anyone's standards, I am not a wuss at all) and everything seemed so stressful and overwhelming. Simple things like appointments and teacher conferences. I never broke down around the kids or asked for help. When my husband and I got older, he had grown up a lot and wanted to do those things. He would volunteer to take the kids to the dentist and register them for school and stuff. It was like this huge relief and I didn't understand why.

With adulthood and success came a miraculous thing called healthcare, and come to find out I have PTSD and ADD. Just knowing and understanding what was wrong was a tremendous help. Even without medication I am able to do those things when I really need to because just the knowledge of what's been wrong is such a empowering relief. For decades I honestly thought I was insane or even retarded.
So what's wrong with people is some are flakey and some are legit messed up. Both of those things are because the world and society as we know it is changing, and not for the better.

I feel you, Friend. We're rowing the same boat ... PTSD and ADD. Look into something called EMRD. It's used to treat soldiers with PTSD, but it works on many other types of trauma. It's passive, talk-therapy - and it's amazing! The world has so many more possibilities, now - and living without the chains of childhood trauma is one of them!
On a much lighter note, ADD isn't as bad as a lot of people think. Frequent stops to watch passing butterflies (and/or chickens) can be VERY therapeutic!

 

[MROO]

Are you talking about your marital partner? If your significant other is "betrothed" and not working out, you can kick him to the curb, and call off the engagement! Once married, it requires a divorce, a much more tedious and onerous process. Being married and staying that way requires patience, a high tolerance for aggravation, ability to problem solve, negotiate, and compromise, and in the case of men, attention getting devices such as frying pans and rolling pins, in order that they will know you are to be taken seriously. Ranting and venting can draw down the anger levels in preparation for meaningful discussions, so have at it, but after, it would be more fruitful to draw your partners attention to the problems and issues at hand... Good luck with that! (and you can find a pretty good rolling pin on ebay). https://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-LO...:t9gAAOSwwZtdCoAG:sc:USPSPriority!93314!US!-1 Those maple wood ones are the bomb! (not that I'm advising any violence, just have it in your hand).

Funny you should say this. Years ago, I picked up an itty-bitty (six inch) cast iron skillet at a yard sale. My first thougt was that it was beautifully seasoned. My second was that it would be perfect for a single omelet .. but the best thought came when the fellow selling it asked what in the world I would use such a tiny frying pan for. My response earned me a free frying pan. I told him it was for when "he" (my then DH) was just a little bit bad ...
In retrospect, I shoulda bought a bigger frying pan ...

 

[cmom]

This thread makes me sad. Doesn't anyone have a good marriage anymore? My husband kicks ass. He was only 19 when we got married and I already had a child from a high school relationship. He said a child deserves a real house and a father. He married me and bought us a house. He let's me dress him up as Jack Sparrow and he thinks I'm adorable even though I look like Barney Fife. Come on I know some of ya'll have a good marriage?

I really can't complain. We had wonderful times when we were younger. It is harder now the older we get.

 

[MROO]

This thread makes me sad. Doesn't anyone have a good marriage anymore? My husband kicks ass. He was only 19 when we got married and I already had a child from a high school relationship. He said a child deserves a real house and a father. He married me and bought us a house. He let's me dress him up as Jack Sparrow and he thinks I'm adorable even though I look like Barney Fife. Come on I know some of ya'll have a good marriage?

Of course there are good marriages! Lots of them! But let's face it, some days, even a wonderful spouse deserves eggs in his slippers. It's a lot cheaper than a divorce ... and a whole lot more fun!

 

[momoftwinsinwi]

I feel you, Friend. We're rowing the same boat ... PTSD and ADD. Look into something called EMRD. It's used to treat soldiers with PTSD, but it works on many other types of trauma. It's passive, talk-therapy - and it's amazing! The world has so many more possibilities, now - and living without the chains of childhood trauma is one of them!
On a much lighter note, ADD isn't as bad as a lot of people think. Frequent stops to watch passing butterflies (and/or chickens) can be VERY therapeutic!

MROO, I would treasure the time we actually get to talk, this is a dip in a very large pond of what I am dealing with cheers with a Coors Light my friend

 

[momoftwinsinwi]

Funny you should say this. Years ago, I picked up an itty-bitty (six inch) cast iron skillet at a yard sale. My first thougt was that it was beautifully seasoned. My second was that it would be perfect for a single omelet .. but the best thought came when the fellow selling it asked what in the world I would use such a tiny frying pan for. My response earned me a free frying pan. I told him it was for when "he" (my then DH) was just a little bit bad ...
In retrospect, I shoulda bought a bigger frying pan ...

OMG, this makes me LOL

 

[ButtonquailGirl14]

Please don't divorce! Believe me, there are much worse husband's! I'm not married btw