Anyone else decide not to have children... R U treated differently?

[Camelot Farms]

Awww. I hate that people are so tacky. When did some things stop becoming private?

Geesh.

 

[downstownlady]

I love the saying "Child Free"!!!

I love my children...all 3 of them...one is 25 from 1st marriage...then 2 younger that we adopted. I was lucky to have found a good man to run through life with...correction...am BLESSED. Both of us wouldn't change our decision and going it almost alone to adopt...but being 48 and 52 respectively, our youngest is going to be 11 in October...to say we are worn out is a flat-out understatement!!! But, I digress...

The decision to have or not have, adopt or to have biologically is your decision and one you have to live with. My FIL flat out asked me why we are doing this to our son Andy, and wasn't he enough??? I told him that it was ultimately in God's hands not ours...we went through the process, but out of all the people who could have been chosen to parent our children...he must have thought we should.

Next time someone says or does anything that makes you feel badly about your decision...ask them why it is so important to them whether you reproduce or not??? If that doesn't shut 'em up...then just stick your tongue out at them...it isn't any ruder than they're being!

 

[Tinkspirit70]

Bottom line is that it is your decision, and I wouldnt worry about visitors in your old age, you said yourself that kids are attracted to you and that animals find you..age wont make a difference. My Uncle is mentally disabled from a chemical inbalance in the brain, because of this he has never married or had any children but as a child he was always my favorite. When I had my second son I named him after my Uncle and If anything ever happens to My dad ( who cares for him) then I have given my word to take over his care. He is not my dad and I am not his child but I love him and I am sure their are people who love you that much too. Enjoy your furry kids, those are the children you have chose ) Love ~tink~~

 

[sunnychooks]

Quote:
My mother used to say that to me. I told her that I knew of many people who had children who were STILL alone in their old age. I'm in my 50s and my DH is 60 and we have never regretted not having children. We enjoy other people's kids and spoiled our neices and nephews (and now their kids, too!) but I'll admit to being selfish. We love having the freedom to do things we want to do without worrying about if the children are okay, or soccor practice, or college educations. We have a number of friends that also made the decision not to have children and we enjoy socializing with them. The most annoying thing that happens to me is that people have no problem with asking me if it was "by choice". Some of these people are complete strangers!

 

[mgw]

This is still a free country and you are free to make your own decisions. listen to yourself and no one else.

 

[BarkerChickens]

My husband and I don't plan on having any children. Neither of us have the "urge" to have them. Both of us like the idea of a parent being home, but he doesn't have the patience and I like my career. We like kids and gladly will take them for the day, but we LOVE the peace and quiet at home as well. We have 3 dogs, 3 bunnies, 1 cat and 18 hens...that is plenty for us. Plus our garden is time consuming. My younger brother (24) just moved in with us and the extra adult in the house is more than plenty for us!

I am very motherly, but don't have the maternal instinct to have my own. I am perfectly content with "mothering" all the animals around her. DHs mom brought it up the first couple years, but quickly gave up (DH is 40...he is not changing his mind). My mom didn't want kids, but ended up with my brother and I. She says she wouldn't trade it for the world, but if she did it all over again, she still wouldn't want kids. So, she is understanding. Her response is "kids are great, you would be a great mom, being a mom is one of the greatest gifts in the world, but kids aren't everything and not having them allows for so many other wonderful things." Happiness can be with and without kids! Now my dad is bit bummed since I am his only child (my brother is from my mom's second marriage)...he wants to be a grandpa, but has never bugged us about having kids.

Now at work and in public.....We get asked all the time "Do you have kids yet?" or "When are you gonna have little ones?"

Yet? When? Uhhh.....never. We get looked at like we're nuts, but they rarely say much.

 

[DuckLady]

I used to look people straight in the eye and ask why they would ask such a personal question.

 

[@~rosecityfarmgirl~@]

My fiance and I are only in our early/mid 20's, and we're already getting flack for this! Thankfully, his parents aren't keen on grandkids, but my maternal grandmother is a very traditional European woman, and has been bugging me about it constantly, insisting that I'll change my mind one day (this is the same woman who told me that I shouldn't be getting a degree at my age, I should be raising children. Yikes).

Many of our older friends have kids or are planning their families, and they just can't wrap their heads around WHY 2 people wouldn't want kids. It's not that I don't LIKE them (I'm going to be a teacher), but I just have no desire to waddle around pregnant for months, deal with stretch marks and nausea, pain, weight gain, etc... and I deal with enough (chicken) poop lol, forget changing diapers! I'd MUCH rather join Big Sisters or become a foster parent down the road, and give to a child that needs guidance, a family structure, etc. My pro-child family/friends think this is a waste of fertility. Ugh.
No, my chickens won't visit me when I'm old. No, my cat won't take care of me when I'm sick. But with all the money I save NOT having kids, I'll find a nice retirement home!

 

[Kansaseq]

I've never, ever wanted children. Never had the urge. My mom always used to say I'd end up with 10 kids (nope!). It's no ones' business if you don't want kids, and family or not, it's VERY rude of them to push the subject. If you tell them you don't want kids, they need to leave it alone. Maybe next time your family or anyone brings it up, just say you and hubby have made your decision and the subject is closed. PERIOD.

 

[WriterofWords]

I didn't have Steven until I was 28, I was told my entire life I couldn't have children so I resigned myself to that. I used to get all kinds of questions though,, and I didn't feel it was their business if I had children or not. But the funniest story I have concerning that was my SIL and her best friend! They were positive I wanted kids, and that the doctors were wrong. So they went to their priest, and got a bottle of blessed fish oil and presented it to me and told me to rub it all over my body and that I would get pregnant. I sniffed the bottle and about barfed, I told them if I rubbed that oil all over me no man would come near me to get me pregnant! But I took the bottle and I used it on the cat food, they loved it! Right after that I kicked my ex husband now, out of the house and started divorce proceedings. Four months into the divorce I found out I was pregnant. To this day they are positive that their blessed fish oil is the reason I have my son.