Best indoor chicken breed

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But why an indoor chicken? I understand wanting an indoor pet. I understand wanting chickens. But not an indoor chicken. Even if a chicken didn't need to be around other chickens, how on earth do you even begin to handle the poop? And the dust and dander and feathers? I look around my chicken coop and run and cannot even begin to figure out how this would work inside my home. They are little mobile poop dispensers with no manners.
 
What is the best indoor chicken breed? I don't like silkies. I've had a buff polish as a house pet, and would consider getting a polish.
I'm looking for the following:
~Small
~doesn't need a ton of attention
~doesn't need another chicken companion
~doesn't lay many eggs
~visibly attractive and fun
~calm
~doesn't try to poop all over everything
~would be ok wearing a diaper
Chickens are flock animals. I would argue that no chicken would be suitable based on the requirement of not needing another companion.
 
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