BYC Café

[DobieLover]

DL, sorry you are having to go through this. It sounds like your husband's family is trying to make a money grab, and sees you as greedily standing in the way of his wishes. Is he legally still competent to make such decisions? Obviously, he mentioned wanting to give the vehicle away during his stay with the family, and how that might affect you simply doesn't play with them. You may be in for a bit of a legal wrangle . . . like you need that, too.

I have Power of Attorney.
He lives with me. He WANTS to live here. I came right out and asked him if he wanted to live with them and he said no. He is still cognizant enough to make such decisions.
He has a heart of gold and just wants to give to others. I cannot fault that. But he is not in a financial position to do it. He needs this money for his own care as those costs are going to be exorbitant when the decline really begins. So I am protecting his assets from himself. He had withdrawn $40,000 from his retirement fund about 2 years ago. It went poof. To this day I have no idea what happened to it. His family is oblivious of his financial status and to be perfectly blunt, it's none of their damn business. We have been together for 12.5 years and I have been taking care of him for over 7 years.
I own the house. He has life use. We did that to protect it from when he has to go on Medicaid. (We are not married.)
His sister is a millionaire, married to a doctor. They have a gorgeous log cabin in PA and a beach house on an island in NC. Probably has a huge sense of entitlement and seems to me to be a control freak.
His son is married with 2 kids and they are very well off. And, oh, he already has a truck!! His daughter, as far as I know, is not involved in any of this. I don't see that as part of her character but here I sit surprised that the son was involved. BUT I really don't know if she was lying through her teeth. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

 

[aart]

I guess they ASSUME people will wear glasses if they need them.

When i got my first multi focal glasses, had been using cheaters to read for years, the eye doctor said: "It's a good thing you didn't have this exam and the DMV or they'd have pulled your license" <cringe>

(We are not married.)

I hope you've got that totally legally covered, yikes!
I know you probably do, but that's scary.
Especially considering this:

Not in a million years did I ever feel as if I need to protect DH from his own flesh and blood. But I now do...

 

[aart]

Buildings have a thermal limit of sorts.

Yep. I try to keep the doors and windows closed in the lower lever(walkout) so that mass of concrete floor doesn't warm up.

 

[DobieLover]

I hope you've got that totally legally covered, yikes!
I know you probably do, but that's scary.
Especially considering this:

Yes. We had the POA drawn up when we had the house title transferred into my name. His son is the "monitor" of my decisions.
But thus far, I've not had any reason to divulge anything. I transfer out of his account into my account his share of the monthly expenses when his SS check comes in. If I take anything extra, I make a note in the on-line transfer stating what it was for. Like when I pay for his medication or pay for the registration on the truck now coming under fire. Piddly things like that. I obviously pay all the bills and do all the shopping and maintenance required to run this household. I feel I take EXCELLENT care of DH. All I've ever wanted was for him to be happy and as healthy as possible.
Funny... we both decided to go Paleo together. Again, he made that choice over 2 years ago. He loves it and I think it is very good for him to not eat all the processed food that most people eat. This actually really saps my time because I have to cook so much. But it's good for us so I do it.
His sister left a bunch of bags on the island when they dropped him off. After they left I started sorting through everything. The bags were full of those cheese cracker packets, Cheezits, a box of Oreos and two bags with oatmeal cookies and brownies!! Really? She knows he doesn't eat that garbage but she got it for him regardless and he, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, ate some. It all went straight into the garbage can.

 

[pennyJo1960]

I understand my BF and I are not married either he has 14 years on me we love each other but the choice was made long ago

 

[Meg-in-MT]

I find the lack of a compulsory road worthiness certificate a bit strange. All vehicles have to have an annual test in the UK and here in Spain.

I've heard here that some states require it, as well. I didn't know that existed until not too long ago!

 

[pennyJo1960]

Have to buy new tabs here every year just not additional testing for emission
in our County down here

 

[Perris]

I have Power of Attorney.
He lives with me. He WANTS to live here. I came right out and asked him if he wanted to live with them and he said no. He is still cognizant enough to make such decisions.
He has a heart of gold and just wants to give to others. I cannot fault that. But he is not in a financial position to do it. He needs this money for his own care as those costs are going to be exorbitant when the decline really begins. So I am protecting his assets from himself. He had withdrawn $40,000 from his retirement fund about 2 years ago. It went poof. To this day I have no idea what happened to it. His family is oblivious of his financial status and to be perfectly blunt, it's none of their damn business. We have been together for 12.5 years and I have been taking care of him for over 7 years.
I own the house. He has life use. We did that to protect it from when he has to go on Medicaid. (We are not married.)
His sister is a millionaire, married to a doctor. They have a gorgeous log cabin in PA and a beach house on an island in NC. Probably has a huge sense of entitlement and seems to me to be a control freak.
His son is married with 2 kids and they are very well off. And, oh, he already has a truck!! His daughter, as far as I know, is not involved in any of this. I don't see that as part of her character but here I sit surprised that the son was involved. BUT I really don't know if she was lying through her teeth. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

It sounds like you have prepared well in this, as in other aspects of your life, DL; I do hope his sister doesn't cause you any more stress

 

[Shadrach]

Good morning Cafe.
Coffee is made.
It's another hot and humid day here.

 

[Perris]

Good morning Cafe.
Thanks for the coffee Shad.
It's nice and warm here today, about 17 C, just right for a spot of weeding. The brambles and ivy are running riot in some bits of the garden.