BYC Café

[aart]

You may ask yourself, "what is she going to do about them?"

I have no doubt you have a handle on dealing with DH's issues.....
...it's the asshole family members.
I hope you're legally covered, may need restraining orders on the fam?

 

[DobieLover]

I have no doubt you have a handle on dealing with DH's issues.....
...it's the asshole family members.
I hope you're legally covered, may need restraining orders on the fam?

Don't know. We'll have to see how this shakes out.
They all live far enough away that I doubt it'll come to restraining orders. Besides, they are DHs family and I'd never come between them and him regardless how I feel about them and the way they treat me, intentionally or not. He loves them and can't really understand what's going on. He is unable to read nuances so he's never picked up on what I saw coming a while ago, at least with his sister.

 

[aart]

can't really understand what's going on

That's the scariest part.

 

[pennyJo1960]

Roofers are done worked pretty solid from 7am to 7pm but done ... Does look great very happy with how they did it 2 new skylights to replace old ones ..
Kinda odd but the original house had a older roof they just put a new roof on the new part .. all over good now

 

[Perris]

Roofers are done

 

[DobieLover]

Good morning Cafe. Coffee is on.
Another beautiful day is up on deck today.
Have a great day everyone.

 

[Shadrach]

I've had one of THOSE days.
DHs family have all taken to making decisions about DHs care without even once discussing with the one person walking this planet who knows more about his condition than anyone else because said person lives with him.
I got an email from DHs daughter last week stating she wanted to come up for a visit on 9/11 to talk about her father. That she thought her brother and aunts and uncles were all talking to me about having someone stay with DH when I was gone "ALL day" and that there was some disagreement.
No one has talked to me. I have been given the third degree, have had our lifestyle choices insulted, and been informed that all the family thinks DH should not be left alone. I kept trying to explain that DHs confusion would have been amplified outside his home while visiting them and that he is still doing okay at home. They don't agree. Okay. How would you know? You don't live with him. I do.
I knew I'd made appointments for both of us for physicals and they were coming up but couldn't remember when because I forgot to put them in my calendar.
I called the doctor's office to get the date and times. I was told that DH had TWO appointments??!! What?
One on the same day as me, which I scheduled that way.
One for 9/11. I didn't made that one. Hmm. Same day as the planned visit. Hmm. Is this also part of their "discussions" with me? Making appointments for him with his PCP behind my back? I requested that the office pull up the HIPPA on record. Oh? Really? I'm the only one listed that the doctor can discuss his condition with? I had NOOOO idea!
Suffice it to say that I cancelled the appointment.
Sorry for the rant. Even if no one reads it, it felt good to write it!!

Tell them to feck orf DL. I have similar family problems from other causes so I feel your anger and frustration.
From what you've written I get the impression that none of them have the remotest idea of the reality of living with your other half.
I had a 'family' meeting a few days ago about what to do about so and so. It's all very well doing words but at some point all that tedious time consuming stuff needs to get done and not many people are either equipped, or prepared to do it.
You do an incredible amount of stuff DL. I'm surprised you're still standing. Just getting all the meals on the table and the domestic stuff done sends most into a full on moan about how hard their lives are. I have to laugh when I read some of that stuff.

 

[Shadrach]

Good morning Cafe.
Thanks for the coffee DL. Just got around to my first cup of the day.
It's going to be a hot one. Just got to get through another week and theory the temps will gradually reduce.

 

[DobieLover]

Tell them to feck orf DL.

Oh, but I'd love to! If I ever get someone one on one they may very well end up with that.
I'm very protective of DHs happiness. I tell him (reassure him) that all I want for him is that he is happy, healthy, safe and secure.
We have a pretty good age gap and he's always been a little insecure that he's too old for me. When he was first diagnosed and we weren't doing too well handling it, he looked at me one night with glimmering eyes and told me he thought he was making me miserable. Stab right to the heart. I love him to pieces and don't want him thinking that way because I am NOT. I have a happy, simple life that I love and I'm sharing it with someone that I love.
Dealing with his disease is hard on him too and I don't want him to feel tension around his family. He loves them. They don't treat him the way they treat me. But at least when he's around, they are nice to me. I know it's all a show but I can put on one hell of a show too.

 

[bruceha2000]

Crawling around on the ground is a bear...let alone getting down and back up.

You have a lot of company here in agreement!

Looks like a cut further into the adjacent bank is going to be a partial solution but given the outside edge is going to crumble again it needs reinforcing at that will cost thousands.

At least someone is finally looking at it!

Tonya, I'm sorry DH's family is so whacked. Imagine making a doctors appointment for someone else when you aren't allowed to do so I hope they back off though I guess there isn't any reason to think they will This Covid thing is really a PITA in your situation.