While I am slightly offended by being chastised for my statement - I agree with your sentiment. My husband was not on board with chickens. He said no. Rather than steamrolling him- I asked what his concerns were. The why mattered to me. We talked about them. I did more research and shared with him. Then one day he said- alright let's go ahead and try. By nature he was not a country boy. And we had lived our whole marriage in the city up to the point. 14 years of marriage. Mutual respect and communication eventually resulted into ducks, chickens and geese. We are growing into a new way of life together. Together. And the joy we both feel and the sorrows we both feel as we move along in this journey are shared, rather than on me because he was not on board.
I really love my husband and he is a fine example of what a man should be. I cannot imagine not encouraging my daughters to marry one day if they choose when they have such a wonderful example of a dad and husband to measure up to. They also have family that have not married or married and chosen not to have kids. Their life is in their own hands.
But I thank everyone for their opinions.
Just catching back up here.
Amy Beth, I wasn't trying to chastise you. I was just agreeing with the other comment about not needing a man
or woman to tell a person what they can or cannot do in life. I have some friends, both male and female, who have spouses who control their every move. One can't go have a cup of coffee, even at her own mother's house, unless she has permission first. One of the guys can't go play golf with my hubby unless the wife gives him the money AND approves of which guys are going and the course they are playing. Another chicken-crazy friend has a husband who dictates what color birds she is allowed to buy.
I am also blessed with a loving man who spoils me and I try to do the same for him. We have a mutual respect for each other as partners and do discuss any major decisions or purchases. We have many shared interests and common goals. But we do have our own interests and allow each other the freedom to pursue those without "supervision". We agreed early in our marriage that any purchase over $100 needed discussion. We both bring in money so we can both spend it (after bills are paid). It has worked very well for us. He is also very supportive and patient when it comes to my beloved birds. I enlist his help regularly on some of the heavy lifting and things I am not physically capable of doing. (I have bribed him with some of his own birds now too, so he is sharing an interest in it.) I still won't share in his golf though
I think the reason I even chimed in at all was because of my friend who has been groomed all her life to "marry a rich man who will provide for you". I love her to pieces, but since my friend is a very smart and successful woman who can and does provide quite well for herself and family, why does her mom place the emphasis on the rich part? She followed that course and married for money as she was told and was absolutely miserable. It is a shame that is still in her mindset as she is now with a fantastic, loving man who would give her and her boys the universe. The catch is that she makes way more $$ than he does and because of her ingrained need to be provided for, I think she will eventually push him away, even if subconsciously. I was raised just the opposite - "you are a strong, capable
person who can make your own way in life and go as far as you want to go with whatever you choose to do". It was never about "woman power" or anything other than using the brains and capabilities God blessed me with.
So I think just your innocent comment about the need to marry a certain type of person was what I was joining the discussion about. Please don't be offended as no offence was meant.