Believe me, I feel terrible but It's such a reflex at this point. Today I ended up hitting him in the breast when he came at me because I was startled. It really doesn't matter if I'm supposed to be used to it. I can very easily forget these things SO fast (thanks past concussions)
You walked into the area with the rooster AGAIN.
You did not put him in a cage that will keep you and him safe from each other.
I don't expect you to just stand there and get attacked without responding.
But I do think you should plan ahead by catching the rooster and putting him in a cage or other pen that you do not go into. It often works well to grab chickens at night, because they don't see well in the dark-- which means he won't be able to see well enough to attack you when you go to grab him.
Or if that really is not an option, try refilling the feed and water dishes in the dark (after sunset or before sunrise), and do not go there at all during daytime. That may work to provide what the chickens need while keeping both you and rooster safe, at least for a few days until you work out something better.
I don't remember if you said-- is he free ranging, or does he live in a coop & run situation?
I know I probably sound like a terrible owner but I don't WANT to harm him. And the thought of killing him just sends me to tears. Please understand, I'm doing what I can... I feel guilty as is because I feel like I failed him.
Everything you do is making you feel terrible.
Change something, so at least you quit getting attacked (and if you are not attacked, you will not kick or hit him, so that is better for him too.) The change could be a cage, it could be giving him away, it could be killing him, it could be anything else that keeps you and the rooster separate enough that he cannot get to you.
However hard it is, I do not think you will feel better by just leaving things the way they are now. Is it really that hard to put the rooster in a dog crate?