This is a tough situation, and I feel for you. I don't care if you're a man or a woman - it's important to try and stay healthy for the sake of the people you would leave behind.
I know when I was trying to get my fiance to drink less, I used "we" statements instead of "you". "We" should try not to drink so much - though I don't know how that would apply with you, since it seems your husband does this on his own.
What's really concerning is the sleep apnea. Can you convince him to get this looked at? Not only does it interrupt the sleep cycle, but when you stop breathing for long enough, you start killing brain cells. In addition, it can be the doctor that tells him that he needs to lose weight.
I know when I was trying to get my fiance to drink less, I used "we" statements instead of "you". "We" should try not to drink so much - though I don't know how that would apply with you, since it seems your husband does this on his own.
What's really concerning is the sleep apnea. Can you convince him to get this looked at? Not only does it interrupt the sleep cycle, but when you stop breathing for long enough, you start killing brain cells. In addition, it can be the doctor that tells him that he needs to lose weight.